ISO: Studio 54 style for an Indiana wedding

Hi ESB and readers,

I need help.

I'm going to a wedding this fall in my Indiana hometown. I have been living out of the country for years, and am really excited to see old friends in person. I just don't know what to wear.

You guys are so talented. Could you please help me find something? I love the Studio 54 style and am also a fan of Saint Laurent Paris. Typically I like leather and sequins, but I don't want to be too flashy.

I'm also 5'2'', blonde, thin and flat. There is no price range.

Thank you so much!!!

*****

No boobs + NO BUDGET??

You're punking me, aren't you.



Image courtesy of Matches Fashion (Saint Laurent gold lamé jobber still avail at net-a-porter)

WE ARE THE BEST!

GO SEE THIS MOVIE, YOU GUYS!

Set in Stockholm in 1982 and shot in Swedish, We Are the Best! is director Lukas Moodysson's adaptation of his wife's graphic novel about three aspiring punk rock girls. (Allow me to clarify: these girls are aspiring to be in a punk band. They are already punk as fuck.)

I have to admit, I was relieved when I read the NY Times review this morning and learned that Moodysson has been making movies for 15+ years. We Are the Best! feels like a first film, in that it's rough and exuberant and utterly connected to the material, but the acting is so good--his leads were aged 11, 13 and 14 when they shot the film--that I started kicking myself in my seat, thinking "How did he get those performances??"

We Are the Best! opens this Friday in Montreal, New York, Toronto, Vancouver and West Los Angeles, then rolls out to more cities throughout June + July.

Absolutely appropriate for tween audiences, if you don't mind a fuck or two. (Which, if you mind that, what are you doing here?) Be the cool aunt and bring your ten-year-old niece. It'll blow her mind.

Seeking: the perfect black maxi

Hey girl hey,

So I need your powerful army of internet diggers to find the perfect black maxi. One that you can wear to A N Y T H I N G. The sandy hot beach that you'll never get to because you live in SF and it's so expensive so how can you go on vacation, with a cardigan so you can wear it to work, to a fancy dinner, and maybe occasionally it's a nightgown. You know what I mean? I'm talking about a wardrobe workhorse, here. Preferably something that your gigantic boobs can handle. No spaghetti straps, sil vous plait.

Soooooooooooo? Am I asking too much?

Love ever,
hbomb

*****

You're making ME want this perfect black maxi, and I haven't worn a maxi since, like, 1998?

I have a couple of rules to add: Must be hand-washable and made of breathable fabric (i.e. NO FUCKING POLYESTER)



SHOP AWAY MY SHOPPING ELVES

we're counting on you.












Image: Apiece Apart FW 2013

______________________________

p.s. unrelated: this is the best thing on the internet

check out the bride in Helmut Lang

All you DOUBTERS may feel free to admit you were wrong.

(Photos by Winnie Au for Refinery 29)

Seeking: "Vegan" Bridesmaids dress

Hi ESB,

I never saw myself as a person who would read a wedding blog, but I keep coming back for the snark and pretty pictures! Now I'm hoping you/your readers might be able to help me dress myself for a wedding I'm going to be in at the end of July.

The bride is my college roommate, and the wedding is going to be a super crunchy/sustainable/all-vegan-menu affair. The bridesmaids have been asked to wear knee-length green dresses (generally in this color family). I would prefer not to wear one of the lighter shades. I think we have some flexibility with the color, but that's the general idea.

I'm 5'4", small-chested, athletic build, maybe a pear shape but I've never really thought of myself relative to fruit shapes, and looking to spend less than $200 (unless something amazing that I will want to reuse comes along). I've been trying to poke around online since I am in grad school exams period, but I would love some guidance about specific dresses or stores I should check out. Any help from you or your readers would be so appreciated!

Thank you thank you!

*****

a) There is a color called "Vegan"????!?!

b) THERE IS A COLOR CALLED VEGAN

c) Did she just pick that fucking color because it's called vegan?

Let's be real, it's hard enough to find a green dress. I wouldn't sweat the shade of green.

Although.... This silk jobber from Madewell, which they call "Hemingway" and I would call "Forest" is pretty fucking close to the Sherwin-Williams "Derbyshire."

I am a shopping genius.

(Are you allowed to wear fabric that's not vegan?)

pre-heartache

Hi ESB and readers,

I was wondering where to get some advice about this when I re-read "Heartache" from April 21. I don't want to turn your blog into a giant hole of darkness but I can't think of anyone better than you guys to turn to. 

Out of the blue, my mom has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. She has not been ill in any way so my entire family is reeling. I'm getting married in September and I just don't know how to deal with the wedding itself or all the planning. It feels like I will just be bawling my eyes out the whole time and everyone else will too. 

How can a wedding be fun when it's the worst time of my entire life? How do I do this? How can I think about my future when she might not be in it?

A.


p.s. Please follow this up with a super divisive fashion post, I need the positive energy.

******

Oh, lady. I am so so sorry.

Postpone the wedding.* You shouldn't have to worry about it right now, and you may not want to worry about it for a good long while. Please give yourself all the time you need.

<3





Lida Fox by Stian Foss for Jalouse May 2014 via visual optimism
______________________________

*I almost opened with "This may be THE WORST POSSIBLE ADVICE, but...." I really should have opened with that. Wtf do I know about cancer?! (See comments from far wiser readers below)

someone got married in that temperley dress!

too bad the groom's ensemble is blinding.
but the hair/lipstick situation is pretty satisfactory.

-- says an anonymous reader

I say, WHY NOT LET THE GROOM STEAL A LITTLE THUNDER? That suit fits him peeeurfectly.

In other news.... I am alive. Just got back from Atlanta + NYC. Ate too many potato products, drank too much coffee and toooooo many cocktails, tried on a pair of Birkenstocks and concluded that they are not for me.

Also: I may finally be a skinny jeans convert. More on that later.

(Photos by Jessica Peterson via The House That Lars Built)


p.s. There's a fresh MMOHIAC for you over here.