Dear ESB,
Dreamboat and I are getting married in late April. I bought a clearance dress from J.Crew early on in my engagement (I know). An amazingly talented amazing designer friend is completely reworking it (after we both decided, instantly, that the original dress kind of sucked--no shocker there). It's nearly done, and is flowy and a lil' goddessy and lovely, but maybe not terribly flattering...but very wedding-y and beautiful. Long, high necked, almost-racerbacked, silk chiffon, etc. the more i've tried it on, the more i've warmed up to it.
Meanwhile, I found an amazing lace dress accidentally while looking for a dress for my bridesmaid/maid of honor/best lady. Kind of haunted by it, I ordered it, "just to know." I just tried it on, and love it. It's a lil' sexy, strangely sort of demure at the same time, short-ish, and interesting....so, what to do?
I mean, I have a custom, lovely gown designed for me by a friend (though not a friend who will be at the small wedding), and this sexy, interesting gown I bought off the rack. I didn't mean to have to have 2 dresses!
The solution that comes to mind is to wear the lovely, wedding-y gown to the ceremony in our backyard, and the sexy, edgier dress to the reception at a gallery downtown, but that's fussy, right? And silly to have two dresses? What to do?
Your advice requested
Cheers,
(got no clever name to use instead)
AND THANKS!
*****
WEAR THE SEXY ONE
why is this even a question.
don't drop, fragile by Stéphanie Baechler (photo by Anja Schori)
disagree; wear both and enjoy both your friend's loving work and the sexy interest of dress II. committing yourself is only compulsory for the people getting hitched, not the clothes they're wearing to do it.
ReplyDeletethe "maybe not terribly flattering..." part clinched it for me.
Deleteright. which begs the question: can't the amazing designer friend make the dress more flattering?
Deleteeh, go for the sexy one.
Define "maybe not terribly flattering".
ReplyDeleteFlattering is a must.
Definition is key. "Maybe not terribly flattering" compared to the sexy number or "maybe not terribly flattering" on me or anyone else?
DeleteAre you paying your friend for her work? This whole situation is a little less hairy if you're paying for the work.
ReplyDeleteBLANKET WARNING FOLKS: Beware of favors you ask of your artist friends. And PAY THEM SOMETHING.
Yes! on paying! artists!
DeleteTotally paying for the work. And should have probably just said, "not as flattering as the sexy one." It's flattering, and will fit well when done. She's still working on it to make it just right. So...
ReplyDeleteI think it's silly to intentionally shop for a reception/second dress, but if you already have it in hand, might as well wear them both.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see pictures. I don't need to, I'm just nosey. Demure, lil sexy, and interesting has me curious.
If you already have two dresses, and you like them both, and one fits well for the ceremony and the other fits well for party, then just wear them both and be done with it. I don't understand the problem?
ReplyDeleteTwo dresses just kind of fell into your lap. You want to wear them both, for different reasons.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely wear them both, then.
This might be the only time that I support wearing two dresses at a wedding.
ReplyDeleteAlso: send photos.
You lost me at "dreamboat"
ReplyDeleteI bought a clearance dress from J.Crew early on in my engagement (I know).
ReplyDeleteI know people love to hate J. Crew around here, but you don't have to qualify your purchase so some snarkly girls will think you have good taste. Just admit you like to shop there, at least some of the time.
yes, thank you!
Deletethank. you. so sick of people doing this!
DeleteI agree with you, but maybe the I know was in reference to buying a dress too early, or just because it was on clearance. Just to give the writer-inner the benefit of the doubt.
DeleteTake a few photos in the lovingly handcrafted ugly one and call it a day.
ReplyDeleteAnyone kind of thrown off by the fact that a friend who is making your wedding dress is not invited to the wedding?
Also dreamboat as a proper noun makes me cringe.
Well, she said she's paying the friend to make the dress, so it's not like the friend is just doing it as a gift or favor.
DeleteOh yeah, I saw that. Still think it is odd.
DeleteCut both dresses in half and sew them together ala Two-Face.
ReplyDeleteflattering is the one thing your wedding dress MUST be.
ReplyDelete-jess
I had a seamstress friend alter my grandmother's dress for me, didn't end up loving it, bought a secondhand dress two weeks before the wedding, and faced down telling my grandmother and my seamstress friend I wasn't going that route anymore. Bought the friend a giftcard and wrote her a nice card and felt fine about it, although I still feel a little sick to my stomach when I think that I altered but didn't wear my grandma's dress. That's kind of crap for my sisters/cousins.
ReplyDeleteI think I bought the same JCrew dress as you, and also had it altered (I had the neckline lowered and the whole thing fitted better). I had a freakout about it a week before the wedding (who would have thought I'd be THAT girl?) but in retrospect I love it, and we used all the money that we would have spent on a ridiculously expensive dress on our totally amazing Thai honeymoon.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine, FYI: http://www.flickr.com/photos/87861811@N00/8123476541/in/set-72157631853810695