The moral of the story is....always listen to ESB

Dear ESB,

This is not a question, but a word of warning to any bride who doesn't heed your wise words about not inviting people to your wedding who you don't really want to be there. 

During university I had a tight-knit group of great girl friends, and despite the fact we all moved across the world after graduation we have always stayed on each other's radars. There was one girl who was always on the fringes of the group, because, well, she was pretty annoying. Very bright, but really competitive (particularly with me), judgmental, intense and uptight. The kind who always wants to know what your new X cost, or how much you weigh, or how obscure the band you were listening to was, so she can try to one up you. She didn't seem to actually like any of us, yet she was kinda always hanging on to our group, just sulking and judging. After university, she got a boyfriend and moved out of the country and no one in our group really heard from her again. 

Flash forward five years, to this past year, and I'm getting married to my rad partner on the other side of the world. My awesome friends from university are all traveling from different countries for our wedding, and it is the first time since graduation we will all be together again. Despite the fact that I don't really want the girl there, and against ALL YOUR GOOD ADVICE ON THE MATTER (and against the rest of my friends' advice!), I felt bad for not including her and decided to send her an invitation. What's the worst thing that could happen?, I rationalized. She probably won't even come, and, if she does, I'll just have to see her that one night and then probably never hear from her again! Right? 

But come she did, as annoying and judgmental as ever, and fresh from a break up with her boyfriend. And she went straight for my new husband's lovely, shy brother. 

After just one very drunken weekend together, and a lot of long distance phone calls over the last five months, this girl and my brother-in-law just got engaged this week. (They still live on different continents, but as I said, she is intense! And apparently has a very charming phone manner? I don't know, I don't get it.) I'm trying to be happy (?) for them in that abstract way you're supposed to be happy for your family, but, selfishly, I just can't believe that I am now going to be related to the most annoying person I've ever met. 

The moral of the story is: don't invite people you don't want to come to your wedding. Or you might end up related to them. AND ALWAYS LISTEN TO ESB.

Sincerely,
Very Sorry I Didn't Listen

(For the love of god, if you post this please don't put my name since my future fucking sister in law will be wedding planning soon!)

*****

Wow that is not how i expected that story to end


Image: Aimee Song courtesy of The Coveteur via Allie Stefan