A Reverse Bridal Shower

Hello once again!

Again I have been toying with emailing you once again and if an update was even what I am writing this email for. I am now writing as the married lady, a fact that I am most happy with and will have had the honor for about a month now. It was interesting to reread what I wrote to you (I have always have had a habit of rereading things I have written and wonder how I find that voice...but that is a longer, separate email) and reflect on how MUCH happened after I wrote to you and your readers.

To say this process has been a whirl wind (which I would say is still an active process...) I mention process because on top of this whole wedding-ness I had the misfortune of losing my dad in January. Yeah.

Nuts.

And there was a moment in all that planning that I was hit with this REALITY. (Super long story, he had put off a colonoscopy for over a year, they found cancer on the last Thursday of January. I work with cancer patients doing artwork in NYC once a week and I was actually on my way back from the city to my restaurant job and we were talking over the phone about his fears and struggles with the idea of the initial surgery and the subsequent chemo. I was trying my best over the phone, he lived in Florida, just to be present for him, calming him down letting him know I was there in any way I could. I was already seeing how I was going to coordinate time with my two jobs to be there for his first round of treatment or for the surgery. He was an extremely nervous man. I didn't even have a chance to make the decision- it would be a heart attack the next morning that would take him. )

I found myself at a fork in the path and I had to make a decision with less then 6 months to go if we would continue with our plans to get married in July.

My dad played a big part in my decision to continue on. He was in a place where a big part of his anxiety was that he was not able to make more of a financial contribution to the whole day. I kept assuring him that there were much more important things that he was in charge of...namely choosing our first dance song. As the sensitive and wonderful man that he was, he took the assignment on with full vigor. In the craziest twist of events, a modest amount of money came from his work insurance- he went from not being about to contribute to almost exclusively hosting the event. My dad lived to throw a party full of family and friends, laughter, food, drink and dancing! Man did we oblige :)

But I am getting ahead of myself. I also wanted to share with you and your readers that I was granted a beautiful chance of actually throwing the reverse bridal shower that I had mused about in my original email to you! It was such a beautiful day, where all but one of my 6 'maids were able to come to the Jersey burbs and we had the most perfect two days. I had a bouncy house (groupon is awesome), had all the lovely ladies make their own flower crowns and we went to downtown to the local park to take picture, hit up a local farm for wine and more pictures and the pinnacle of the whole weekend was the gourmet dinner that my now hubby made for us!

And in a magical twist on this story I was the one at the table with my merry maids and we had the finest bubbly, wine and lots and lots of eats. We have this beautiful documentation of the whole event because we were lucky enough to have one of my bridesmaid's hubby (who is a good friend from art school) who took pics of the whole day- from prep to our lovely lady dinner and late night bounce house shenanigans (the trade off was that he was going to get all this delish food- man was he on board!).

We played those silly games that I had so desired and laughed while we drew, wrote shared stories and I just tried to remember to stop and look around. We were in the back room of the restaurant and it felt like this little place tucked away from the world. I had made all these lovely decorations that just made me happy to look around and see the tissue poms suspended above us, the banner I made that said "love my girls" and the flowers that I had cut from my garden on the table. It just was perfect. This was a celebration.

And while this was a surprise for my girls, it was topped with a surprise from my hubby's Best Man, a singing telegram! It made me almost cry and definately made me laugh! I was blessed with this day where I truly was granted a wish. We returned home, to play in our bounce house, continue with more music and libations - until we settled down to just a giggly gaggle of girls on my living room floor.

I have yet to properly package my reflection of my wedding....that is for another email and I will indulge myself with sending you that one again shortly....especially because I am sure I am going to want to send at least a picture or two of the event and I am hoping to get those from my photographer soon.

For now, I will self-indulge and send you this montage of the happy reverse bridal shower because I am proud that I was able to make it happen and it's been one of the gems in this whole process.

Have to run to get ready for tonight's large parties.

~Jackie Kerouac

*****

I love you even though you wore a white dress to your (reverse) shower.