Kari Sigerson + Miranda Morrison for Anthropologie

Okay, if our Dansko bride doesn't go for these Pointed Cutout Wedges or Glossed D'Orsay Skimmers  then I don't know what.

Thank you to Shira + Rachel for sniffing out Sigerson + Morrison's new (more affordable!) label, which I was too lazy to do.

How do I cover my tatas at the tattoo parlor?

dear esb,

for the next installment of my ongoing, unofficial tattoos-in-foreign-lands project, i'll be getting inked when i'm in the UK this september. i've got just about all of the details figured out: i have my design, i've been writing back and forth with a local artist for the past several months, and i've made my appointment. what remains? the tattoo will be in the middle of my back, you see, so i won't be able to wear a bra during or after said appointment. i've made my peace with that, but i'd like to wear SOMETHING; i'm as unenthusiastic about itinerant breasts as i am enthusiastic about ink.

what, pray, should that something be? (i'll be sightseeing with no opportunity to change for the rest of the day, so whatever i choose will have to work for the next twelve hours.)

yours in never-nudity, &c.

*****

How big is said tattoo? Are you sure you want it directly beneath your bra line? Esp since you never ever ever go without a bra??

Just throwing it out there.

I'll leave it to my intrepid readers to recommend their favorite stick-ons, &c.

Google's reverse image search has failed me. I don't know who took this photo, but I gather the model's name is Ruby Rose.

Temperley FTW

Did anyone catch Project Runway last week?

Alice Temperley was a guest judge, and she wore this dress with red lipstick and (something like) these shoes. (They might have been wedges.)

Anyhoo, the combo was SO GOOD

I LOVE THESE

And I don't even like polka dots.

Well done, Nicole.



Loeffler Randall is the new Sigerson Morrison, no? (This article kinda broke my heart.)

Seeking: Special, Quirky Shoes

Hi ESB-

Love your cohort of feisty women. Hoping for some help on the following dire shopping matter:

I'm 5'7'' and my fiancee is 6'. I like our height differential, so I'm not trying to wear skyscraping high heels on our wedding day. Also, I just don't feel confident in high heels. To get a sense of my style, I rock Danskos all winter like they are coming back into style (one day, one day). As a result, I love wedges because I don't feel like I'm about to tumble over (something I really would rather avoid as I walk down the aisle).  

I'm looking for something that is special and funky. I love glitter and quirky shoes (kinda like these kate spades, but I'm just not confident I can walk and dance and trample around the grass in that skinny stiletto, or whatever its called).  

Ideas?  

Looking for something under 300 (the cheaper the better, but I often get running injuries so I'm willing to pay more for a better made shoe that won't bring back my plantar fasciitis).  

xo

*****

I wouldn't call that a stiletto. That is just a heel, plain and simple.

Also: EEEW

Kate Spade is too fucky prissy. May I suggest Jeffrey Campbell's Aubrey Spike Pump instead?

Just kidding.

Can we see a photo of the dress??

*****

Update from the bride:

i know. I KNOWWWW! i'm just having a shit time finding things that would work. The dress is my grandmother's 1940's wedding dress. Ivory silk,* sheer netting over the shoulders. Sort of like this, but older and shinier and more A-line. Maybe a D'Orsay heel to match the retro look? 

*and by silk, I obviously mean satin. It weighs a lot.

*****

You guys have any shoe suggestions?

I wore myself out on this one yesterday.

nerd alert

Did you know you can do a REVERSE Google Image search?

Ever since I read this post, I've tried to be extra diligent about crediting every photo I publish on the blog. (A link back to Pinterest is not an acceptable photo credit, ladies.)

But. It's much easier to find great images on the internet than it is to figure out who shot them.

Say you come upon an photo on Pinterest and the photographer isn't credited....

And when you click through you just hit the home page of a blog or (worse) a Tumblr page where THE PHOTOGRAPHER ISN'T CREDITED.

Drag the image straight off Pinterest or Tumblr or wherever you found it and drop it into Google Images.

This takes a little jiggering, but once you get the hang of it, it's very satisfying. Check out the results:

Not only did I find the name of the photographer and the original source, I found a bunch more images from the same shoot.

Woohoo!

Note: The above instructions are for Mac users. On a PC, I suspect you would need to first download the image, then upload it to Google Images by clicking the tiny camera icon

and choosing the "Upload an image" feature.

Will someone test this out for me?

Photo at top: Imogen Morris Clarke by Max Doyle for Vogue Australia March 2012 via Ginny Branch Stelling via Luisa Norbis via Zimbio

What do I do with the dress I never wore?

Thank you for posting my last question to you (I wrote about not being sure about the guy I was engaged to). Ultimately, we broke up. I've remained a reader- despite not being a prospective bride any longer and have enjoyed your blog ever since.

When I thought I was getting married I got excited and bought a vintage wedding dress online. I never showed it to anyone, and only told my best friend (and my ex-fiance). When things fell apart I just shoved the dress back into its box and haven't opened it since (2.5 years).

Is it weird to keep the dress? I'm a fairly superstitious person, so it sort of feels like bad luck. On the other hand: I love it and it was only $250. But I'm frightened of being some strange spinster with a wedding dress in my closet, like a Miss Havisham who didn't even make it down the aisle.

What do you think?

Many thanks.

Hopefully Not Havisham

*****

Give it away.

You won't meet your (new) dream guy until you do.

Marina Nery by Billy Kidd via c ktnon via dubbu

Just getting started.

Hi ESB,

Long-time reader, first-time writer. My boyfriend of 2 and a half years proposed last week in Ireland. I'm ecstatic, and would love to be married in June of 2013.

The biggest conundrum I'm facing right now is where to have this event: My parents and extended family are all from Oklahoma, but I was raised in Brooklyn until High School when their divorce was finalized and I moved back to OK to be with my Mom and stepdad. My fiance is an Irish Catholic West Point graduate from Yonkers, NY. His whole family is either in Ireland, or within 45 minutes of West Point. 

We both agree that a wedding in the Catholic Chapel at West Point would be beautiful. It would mean a lot to him, and it would also honor his service and put our (foreseeable) future (as he will deploy and we will move around quite a bit in the next 15 years) in perspective for my family. And as we'll have people coming from Ireland, and friends from D.C. (where we are), it'll be easier to convene everyone right outside of NYC.

I have to admit though, it stings a little that my family will have to travel for this event, but his (immediate) family will not.  

No matter where the big event is, I really want to exchange vows and celebrate on my grandparents' property in Oklahoma. One generation up, my grandparents have set a lovely example for me in what marriage, commitment and family should be. I spent every summer there as a child, even before I moved there for H.S. Originally, I was thinking we could just do a hippie ceremony with family and friends that wouldn't be able to make it out to West Point, and then do the big shindig in NY.

But then I started pricing things out. My Mom and Stepdad are very generously giving us 40,000. I can put in another 10,000 (fiance and clan are handling the typical groom's family stuff - the rehearsal dinner etc). My Father is sick, and may not be able to contribute anything. To my shock and horror, $50,000 seems to buy extremely little in the Hudson Valley! Going with the conventional rule of only spending 40% on the reception, we have our pick of tacky bridal factory places -- and that's about it. Why spend that much for such a cookie-cutter experience??

As for what we originally envisioned, we want to boogie all night with our nearest and dearest (capping it at college friends and extended family puts us in the ballpark of 200 or so guests). Live band, open bar for the Irish folk (who apparently always drink wedding venues dry), with really heartfelt touches throughout. We also hoped for a rockin Irish rehearsal dinner, and lovely day-after brunch.

I'd be over the moon with a wedding at my grandparents' house - but I know how lovely, important and convenient West Point is. Even my parents in Oklahoma are worried about having the big celebration there - as Irish family and DC friends might not be able to come. 

Please help me make sense of all of this! A feast for 25 in NY, and big celebration in OK? Bite the bullet on the tacky stuff because that's the most convenient?

Yours,
Confused.

*****

Dear Confused,

Welcome to wedding planning! It sucks.

First off, don't go with the "conventional rule" about anything. Who says you should only spend 40% of your budg on the reception? The same ppl who think you should spend 10% on flowers, 10% on attire, and 10% on a wedding coordinator.

YOU CAN SPEND YOUR BUDGET HOWEVER YOU WANT. Spend 40% on booze if you want to.

But I can't answer the where question for you. You and your future husb need to sit down and make the hard decision about which location means the most to the both of you. Either way, wherever you do the thing, there will be friends/family members who just can't make it.

Did I mention wedding planning sucks?

xoxo,
ESB

Lover's Eyes locket courtesy of The Met via c ktnon via Michiko M + even*cleveland

Whale Milk (Concept) via Megan Gilger via ▲ My Little Fabric ▲

Kelly's Koreatown wedding gown

I was intrigued by Kelly's mention of her "amazing dressmaker in Koreatown," so I pressed her to give us more details:

Dress maker is Ho Seok Seo (goes by Seo) at Shin Bu Bridal...

Here is my spiel for the dress...

Finding a dress for an "untraditional" girl sucks. Everything is poofy, beaded, ruffley, and looks like a cupcake. I wanted something more "boho" meets "architectural-modern" and you can imagine how hard that combo is to find! I went to every bridal boutique in Los Angeles and did not see a thing I liked. Thank goodness for Pinterest! I pulled so many photos of current and vintage gowns that had different silhouettes and fabrics I loved. We were able to pull bits and pieces of various gowns together to make the dress of my dreams. I would advise any girl to go this way. It wasn't that much more expensive and I was able to have a dress that I designed made for me to fit my body perfectly. Who loses?

Antlers, and pom poms, and xerographica! Oh my!

You guys, I'm posting more details than usual on this one because GAAAAAAAAH. 

Here's what Kelly had to say about her cool-ass California wedding:

Mike and I are both very untraditional, so from the beginning we knew we wanted our wedding to be unique, whimsical, and just a freaking good time. We were both so excited to be able to have all of our family and friends in one room for the first time ever. Being both midwest transplants, Mike and I wanted to give our family and friends a true California experience to show them why we fell so in love with it out here. 

After months of searching for the perfect outdoor venue, we stumbled upon the Carondelet House. When we walked in, there was no discussion, we knew this was the place. It had history (was actually the old Otis building), amazing architecture, and also had amazing outdoor areas. The space itself was so beautiful that we did not have to do much to it. Once we found the venue, everything else just fell into place.

Mike and I wanted the decor to reflect the fact that this was a celebration and we wanted to bring the fun. We knew we wanted things to be festive and modern since the venue was really rustic. Gold was a must. We worked with Jihan Zencirli from Gironomo Balloons as well as Confetti System for the rest of the gold decorations. All of my friends helped with the planting, making of terrariums, and setting up the day of. 

I designed my dress myself and had it made by an amazing dressmaker in Koreatown. [Dets to follow in a separate post.] My best friend, Jeff Millbern of Banner Year, made a wood, crystal, and pyrite brooch for my dress as well as wood bracelets and pins for each of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mike and I chose wood to go along with our wooden wedding rings which were made by Gustav Reyes of Simply Wood Rings. 

With my background in visual merchandising and costume design, and Mike's background in graphic design, we were able to do pretty much everything ourselves...no wedding planner needed! Had we not have had 125 people, I would have wanted to do the food as well! [Kelly has a food blog on the side.] For food, we ended up using Tres LA to do the catering. We kept the menu simple with a cheese and cocktail reception, tacos for the main event, and late night appetizers that included sliders, burrata grilled cheese, fried mac and cheese balls, buffalo style cauliflower, and most importantly, a full bar. 

Our cake was a gift from Mike's employer, the LA Weekly, and was from Rosebud Bakery. We also served red velvet cupcakes from Lark Cake Shop and Earl Grey Macarons from Bottega Louie for dessert. We ordered the invitations from 2 Be U Design on Etsy, and Mike was able to make the programs and menus to correspond with them. The ex-cheerleader in me had to have pom poms and I found some from Spiritline that we used as favors. 

Neither Mike and I are big fans of flowers, so we decided to use airplants and lots of potted succulents as at home, we love to be surrounded by plants. Each bridesmaid held a large xerographica. We purchased everything from the flower market downtown and because we used so many plants, we were able to prep everything weeks earlier. 

Our amazing photographers, Rad and In Love, helped us to set up our photo booth and I can say that was definitely a crowd pleaser. We were married by one of our best friends and walked down the aisle to Neutral Milk Hotel, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. My favorite part was the swaying of my bridesmaids to this song as I came down the aisle. Our DJ was the amazing Bennett Schmid from Ameoba and he played all old school 80s, 90s, and hip hop.  People are still talking about how great the music was.

Overall, the day was absolutely perfect, but everything went by so quickly... wish we could do it all again! We could not have made it so perfect without all of our amazing friends and family who helped us put it all together. It was definitely a collaboration and celebration of love. We will remember it always.

Photos by Rad + In Love. Check out tons more from Kelly + Mike's wedding over on the Rad + In Love blog!

cunt cunty cunt cunt

I really wanted to answer this one myself, but I'm overwhelmed by the cuntiness of the MOHs in question.

Also, I have no idea how to respond.

Her dear friend kills herself and they're bickering about the goddamn bridesmaids dresses??

Photo: Graduate Fashion Week 2012 via Trendland via Jessica Goldfond via Anne Sage

Speaking of lingerie....

This marketing is working on me.

(Whatever your feelings about ScarJo/Sofia Coppola, you have to admit the Lost in Translation panties are terrif.)

OMIGOD PLS NEVER MAKE ME SHOP LINGERIE AGAIN

Hey ESB,

I know you're on a long weekend / vacation right now but I thought maybe I could get some help when you get back? (Hope you have a great time, btw) To be honest, I don't have much of a fashionable lady support system so your blog has been my LIFESAVER throughout wedding planning.

I'm looking for some sort of honeymoon / night of bridal lingerie. Lingerie stores are my worst enemy. I go inside of them and I feel as awkward as Michael Cera in every one of his movies all put together. All, "Do you... like... uhh.... well... my size?" Then shop ladies are like, "ooooooh, try on these FEATHERS! WOOOOWWW! How's it gooooooing? Shoooow meeee!!" I'm usually perfectly comfortable with m body and sexuality but there's something about lingerie "boutiques" that turns me into a 13 year old shopping for her first bra.

I don't have a ton of money to spend (budget is about $100) because any I do have is for last minute wedding shit. I'm willing to stretch the budget but only if I LOVE it, not just "kind of like and it will do."

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this. My fiance is super chill and probably wouldn't care if I were wearing a potato sack. I want to look / feel nice FOR ME. It's our honeymoon / post wedding and I somehow want to feel special. (oops, guess I should have held out for marriage and losing the V-card could have been my "something special.") (totally jk). But I don't want to be all post-wedding on our fabulous vacation in my normal striped man pajama pants.

I'm going more for, "Wow, how pretty and beautiful and sexy." NOT going for, (In dude-ly bro douche voice) "Damn girl, that's HOT! I want to spank that ass and put my d in your v!"

I like lace, rompers that don't give camel toe, generally soft things, and comfort (read as: no thongs). I think I'm looking for pajamas that are nicer than normal.

Here are some I've been considering but I'm looking for more options / similar but cheaper options:

La Fee Verte Romper (My last option if I can't find something more budget friendly)

Only Hearts Chemise (I have mixed feelings about chemises?)

Salua Romper (I'm afraid this would look funny with my relatively big titties.)

Also, I hate things like this: Lace Silk Chemise

Any help you or your readers could give would be seriously appreciated.

Thanks,
Lingerie-less

*****

So. I was all ready to tell you "MEN DON'T LIKE ROMPERS," but according to the totally and completely scientific data I collected over here, 35% of men actually do appreciate a good romper. A sexy one, not a religious undergarment one.

I'm thinking you should go with a teddy. Which may or may not be the exact same thing as a romper?? (Shopbop is certainly confused about the whole thing.)

(Alex Teddy from Araks in Mist)

(The Ace x Araks in Fog)

Anyhoo.

These two are a little out of your budg, but that's what you get for asking me to shop lingerie.

Photo at top: Alexa Chung for Araks via Refinery29

MANPOLL: The (Bedtime) Romper

A reader just emailed me seeking suggestions for wedding night/honeymoon lingerie. She provided a few examples of things she likes, 2 out of 3 of which are rompers.

I was all ready to tell her "STOP LOOKING AT ROMPERS. MEN DON'T LIKE ROMPERS." But then I thought, maybe I should collect a little more evidence.


Ladies, pls drag your menfolks over and make em vote.

You know, for science.

(Pictured above: La Fee Verte Romper + Play With Me Romper)

Sunday Morning Wedding Dress

Okay, so there is polyester involved. But $135!

via fieldguided

And we're off.....

We are finally (FINALLY!) off on our long-awaited road trip/beach camping adventure.

We may or may not make it to Big Sur in time to secure a site for tonight, or before dark, for that matter, but I am considering it a FEAT that I finally got H out of the house and into the car.




I plan to take a long weekend off the old blog, but I'll tweet when/if we get a signal....

Image via Nasty Gal

butch bridesmaid vs. meaniepants bride

Apr 1

Hi ESB,

I have been engaged for what seems like an eternity (not the issue) and one friend who was always going to be a BM. 

She is wearing this. I bought it at least 2 years ago (3? Who knows), and thankfully I still like it, as does my BM. 

My daughter (flower girl) will be wearing this. For the record, I bought it a year ago, realized it wasn’t going to fit and miraculously found the next size up at 50% off. Woo!

When we decided to set the date for later this year, I realized one of my great friends had become a best friend and in terms of BM’s she would totally rock it. Completely reliable and extremely creative - just what a girl needs. So naturally I asked her if she would be part of my wedding. She said yes. Yay!

I have asked her what she would like to wear, and she has told me it’s up to me. This totally bites. 

She has worn a dress twice in her life. She is 5’6”, about a sz 12 apple figure, and gay. I had thought she would look great in some slacks, shirt, suspenders (?), but she said she didn’t want to look like a screaming lesbian, although I imagine she would look great. She said she thinks bridesmaids should wear dresses. I am totally cool with it, but I am completely stuck for idea. Let’s be honest. On a day to day basis, she’s a tad butch. Winter’s uniform is jeans, a hoodie and Nike Airs, and in summer it’s board shorts, a t-shirt and Havaianas.

Her requirement is that it has sleeves of some sort (there’s a tattoo on her shoulder she absolutely hates and is in the process of removing), my requirement is it goes with the dresses of my other favorite ladies.

Help!

*****

Jul 1

what did you find??

*****

Jul 2

Didn’t. 

Thought we’d do away with BM’s altogether. (I think I got a tad lazy and put it into the Too Hard basket)

*****

Aug 13

Soo.

I said I had found this dress for her.

I was happy with it. She said she liked it. Then she didn’t. No bra. Huge issue. Apparently strapless bras don’t cut it for her puppies.

Then, she suggested I should replace her with my sister (who incidentally is now also a bridesmaid, so it’s turning out to be one big bridesmaid party). And I said why would I do that, however if she wasn’t feeling it, that’s cool with me. Then we got over the issue and I suggested this dress, which she liked most out of the 3 I suggested at that time, but wouldn’t give me her measurements, I had to measure her the next day when a tape measure would be brought in. Then the dress sold out over night (It was on sale, 70% off) before I could get her measurements. 

Then I suggested a bucket load of dresses, some thrown in there ‘cause she said I was choosing dresses her nana would like, then she called me meaner than her nana (we share a name and birthday) I said this would be mean. Haha.

All joking aside, what the fuck does she wear? My florist is a friend of hers and she agrees my BM looks uncomfortable in a dress. I’m leaning back towards pants and a top, so she will just need to get over the screaming lesbian look, which she wears so well on a day to day basis?

I don’t mean to sound snarky, or perhaps I do just a little, but we are now 2 months out from “my day” (fuck I hate that saying) and I want finality with her outfit. My preferred way of shopping is on the internet and if it doesn’t work, send it back. But now I am running short of time, and I am not sure how much of an option that is.

Do your readers have any suggestions?

For the records,
[This is the dress I have for my sister]

The required colour is grey.

*****

TELL HER TO PICK OUT HER OWN DAMN OUTFIT

And fuck the "required color." At this point, the lady just needs to be clothed.