Hi ESB,
Now, I consider this to be a wedding horror-lite type of wedding horror. I didn't cry, much, but it is on my mind enough to appear in my brain when I think of wedding horrors. I even feel a little silly (okay, a mother fucking crap ton of stupid) submitting, but why not share?
Back story. My now-brother-in-law started dating a girl about a year ago. She shares my first name and I hate that fact. Yes, I am immature, but she's kind of like me in some ways except 1,000 years younger and thinner and cuter. This bugs me to no end, but I keep it inside hoping that she is just a nice girl and I'm the crank. Until my wedding.
She shows up in this teeny-tiny tube dress CUT UP TO THERE, with black spike heels. It was also white. With a pattern, but white. She proceeds to grind on the dance floor with BIL in front of our families. This wasn't even much of dance party wedding. At times, they were the only two out there. If I'd been wearing pearls, I would have clutched them so hard they would turn to dust. My own mother asked me, "Who's the floozy?" Also, after the wedding at our favorite bar, my new husband's friends proceeded to make raunchy comments about her. This is not the way I planned to spend my wedding day--explaining away the antics of some hot young thing with either 1.) no sense to dress herself appropriately or 2.) something to prove.
-Girl Ranting Against Nasty Naughty Youth (because who doesn't love a good acronym?)
Yeesh. That sucks. Are they still together? In other words, is she going to be your SIL one day?
ReplyDeleteHer behaviour reflected only on her, not on you. Trust me - been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteThe sooner people learn this, the less stressful a lot of situations will be.
But, dude, you need to let this go. You are obviously jealous of this girl. Jealousy is natural, go with it, but you are in control of how it makes you feel and what it makes you do. I don't believe that jealousy is a nasty word, just people use it as an excuse to do nasty things.
I'm sorry that happened to you, and she sounds like a classless young woman.
ReplyDeleteTo the individual who said you are jealous of this woman, I would have to disagree. I don't see how being somewhat offended by this woman's outfit makes the bride jealous. If she would have said "she is two years older than me, has a moustache, and a sparking personality," would you still say the bride is jealous? I don't think so. The point is the Floozy was dressed in a manner that was not appropriate for a wedding, being as it was a wedding and not a night club or a strip club. It does reflect poorly on the Floozy, and the bride is entitled to her feelings (as it was the bride's day).
it is clearly a jealous thing, even before the wedding attire issue she already said she didn't like that this girl has the same name, is younger, and cuter. I think the fact that you already didn't like her made you notice her on the wedding day when otherwise you might have been too preoccupied in a bridal joy bubble (or whatever). If it had been someone you really like who had shown up in a white dress with a pattern you probably wouldn't have batted an eyelash. It's only because you already didn't like this chick that you cared.
DeleteJust let it go.
The guest was obviously after some attention, but that shouldn't ruin your wedding, you were still the bride and it was your day, wasn't that enough?
2 of my friends from my high school days showed up at my wedding drunk (and commenced becoming More Drunk) and spent the evening hitting on my 14 and 16-year-old cousins, in fact hoping to go home with them. Obviously the boys were excited to have the attention of some cute (drunk) twenty-somethings, but my family was less-than-impressed, to say the least. I wasn't particularly amused by it in the moment, but it's become a pretty funny family story.
ReplyDeleteI could not tell you what a single guest wore to my wedding. With all the activities and emotions of the day, I'm surprised any bride notices these things.
ReplyDeleteMaybe brides are too busy to notice, but as a perpetual guest, sadly, one of the only things I DO remember is what about everyone's weddings is what the most inappropriately dressed person was wearing! It's not my fault, they do stand out, albeit negatively!
DeleteI remember what most of my female friends and young family wore. I also remember what the hip guys wore.
DeleteYou are either the type of person in life who notices and remembers this stuff or you are not. It doesn't change when you're a bride (I guess unless you are a total bridezilla and therefore evaluate people in ways that you normally wouldn't because IT'S YOUR DAY, DAMMIT!!! Ugh).
OMG this is so strange! So basically a young, hot girl wore a short dress to your wedding and danced all night? And you're mad why? She sounds fun and you sound mean.
ReplyDeleteHave to admit, this was my first reaction too.
DeleteDitto.
Deleteditto. grow up! (who has a problem with dancing guests at a wedding !?!?!?)
DeleteYep, me too. Also, I think the male friends making raunchy comments about her are the most offensive part of this story.
DeleteUgh. Me too. Douchebros.
DeleteAgreed, nothing wrong with wearing a short dress and dancing. Calling a young woman a 'floozy' is judgemental and mean too. She might not have been doing it for 'attention' (and even if she was - so what), she might just have been enjoying herself at a party.
DeleteWhat irks me is that "the floozy" in this story is the one catching all the heat for being out there grinding with her man. What about THE MAN? He doesn't get called names for behaving exactly the same way as this girl? They were both being a little disrespectful/insensitive by being out there and acting sexual on an empty dance floor for all eyes (and generations) to see. Why is she the only one who you're upset with??
ReplyDeleteNail. On. Head.
Deletehooray, my feminist readers!
Deleteperhaps because the original writer has some kind of crush on her husband's brother? that's the only way i can make sense of why she was so strongly against this gf even before the wedding. this whole thing totally confused me more than anything else.
DeleteIt's one thing to roll your eyes and think somebody is behaving tackily. It's another to let it ruin your day/week/wedding. You said she's young, well, young folks don't always have sense. I agree with Tonia and the commenter above, the guys (I won't say men) encouraging/making comments about her behavior is much more troublesome and disgusting than her misplaced club mentality.
ReplyDeleteYou clearly already had it out for this girl and then worked yourself into a tizzy when she did not magically alter her normal behavior/dress code for your wedding. If it had been a young cousin of yours acting that way, you probably would have been slightly embarrassed on her behalf and thought to yourself, "Oh college," and laughed it off. Lighten up, dude.
Also - why did you need to 'explain away' her antics? She danced, you got married, life moves on, nothing to explain.
ReplyDeleteSeriously? What is it about weddings that seems to bring out the misogyny.
ReplyDelete(I mean, more in the realm of moral judgment by and of guests rather than the potentially problematic roots of the whole purity/marriage/property ritual.) (which: yay APW for addressing feminism and the meaning of marriage.)
ok ok, but can we please leave the APW-style use of "which" to start asides on APW and stop spreading it to other parts of the interwebs?!!? it's grating as hell and i'm not even gonna get into the grammar issues.
DeleteWhy, certainly. (although who the hell knows where I pick up half my irritating internet-writing tics from. Luckily they tend to be fleeting.)
DeleteYou knock yo' bad self out with bringing back the interrobanging though.
I have a "which" habit I picked up from David Foster Wallace. Don't plan on knocking it off any time soon.
DeleteIt's funny how the girl becomes a "floozy" because she danced with her boyfriend and wore a tube dress that showed off her figure :/ Sounds like maybe instead of venting on a website, you should go to the gym to gain your own self confidence? That way you won't be so concerned with who is skinnier or prettier than you at your wedding.
ReplyDelete