Hey ESB,
I need to know how to tell my guests that during the ceremony they need to control their urges to take pictures with their phones and just put them away. The main purpose being that I really don't want anything posted to Facebook as it's happening (it freaks me out).
Any advice on how to go about this? Announcement by the officiant? A sign?
Thanks,
K
*****
Welcome to 2012.
The only way to guarantee your guests won't post photos to Facebook/Twitter/Instagram is to take away their cell phones before the ceremony. I assume this is what they do at top secret celebrity weddings, though I don't know that for a fact.
Are you cool with cameras?? Maybe you should confiscate everything and ppl will have to BE IN THE FUCKING MOMENT. There's a concept.
Lady Gaga via fanpop
I echo the "Welcome to 2012." I think you just have to get over it. Which is sad, truly. Our wedding was in the woods and there was no cell reception. Everyone was out there all weekend, with no ability to tweet/update facebook/check email, etc. I heard DOZENS of people talk about how awesome it was to be so present.
ReplyDelete*IF* you want to do/say something, I would put it in a wedding program.
I don't think there's anything wrong with putting a note up, or having your family to say something like "The bride would like to ask the guests not to take photos during the ceremony. There will be a professional photographer and we will happily share the photos." But you also have to be prepared for people to not listen and just let it roll off you when you see someone waving around their iphone.
ReplyDeleteJust focus on your husband/vows and don't look at the guests? Then you'll never know if people are posting on facebook.
ReplyDeletejust don't check facebook for a few days after the wedding.
ReplyDeleteI returned from our honeymoon to see people were live-facebooking our ceremony, which was weird. apparently we were pronounced husband and wife around 11:21 am that day - thank god I know that now
I agree with Jess. If you're present and in the moment, you probably won't even notice that your guests aren't. My cousin videotaped our entire wedding and I NEVER HAD A CLUE. As we watched the video, I just kept wondering how I never noticed, but I think it was because there were so many other things going on.
ReplyDeleteIf you do want to say something, you could probably put a tactful note on an entrance table or ask the officiant to make the request. However, you will need to be prepared for people to ignore both. And yes, confiscating cell phones is exactly what they do at celebrity weddings. I don't think that we commoners can get away with it though.
I just went to a wedding on Saturday where the officiant asked people to be in the moment and put phones away. It worked, no one posted photos DURING the wedding - during the reception was another story. I think something tactful in the program and something tactful by the officiant is the best way to go. At the wedding we were at he asked that we silence our phones and join the couple in their special time.
ReplyDeleteAt my wedding, I had the best man - without my knowledge! - ask all the guests to refrain from posting photos until after the wedding was over. It worked well and the best part was I never knew about it.
Yeah I definitely wasn't prepared for people to be in my face with their phone cameras immediately following our ceremony. It was super fucking annoying. Put a note in your programs and have the officiant say something.
ReplyDeleteAlso, change your facebook privacy settings so stuff you're tagged in doesn't post to your wall/feed. Once people realize they can't tag you it will deter them from over-sharing.
DeleteMy partner is a complete tech junkie, I bet he would love it if people live tweeted our wedding!
ReplyDeleteSaying that, I don't think any of our friends/family would. I've never been to a wedding where people were posting as the ceremony was happening, have you?
Anyway, easy to have you officiant say something like this before the ceremony starts: Please put phones away during the ceremony, the couple would like everyone to be present while they share this special moment.
Offbeat Bride has some articles with suggestions on how to word it: http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding-templates
ReplyDeleteOur officiant announced that we would prefer for everyone to turn off their cell phones and leave their cameras off during the ceremony. And people did!
ReplyDeleteWe included a sentence at the bottom of our programs politely suggesting people put their phones away and be in the moment with us. We both work in marketing and music and most of our friends are free-spirited artists who love to capture a moment. Fortunately, it didn't stop anyone and now those (mostly great) photos are the only photos I have of my wedding until my wedding photographer finished his editing...in NINE WEEKS. Reconsider?
ReplyDeleteIt's true - our photographer took forever, also.
DeleteThat's why I highly recommend giving someone your camera and have them take pictures (respectfully, not in the way of any professionals) throughout the wedding. After our professional photographer recorded over our ceremony pictures, I was very grateful to have some pretty decent ones my friend took that I actually had in my possession. You will also more fun, silly ones of your friends and family if they know the photographer.
DeleteAlso, if you feel strongly about no uploading cell phone pics, you must have your officiant announce it with authority. A line in the program or a sign will do nothing.
If it really bothers you get a internet/cell phone blocker (I know of a few restaurants that have them) and no one will be able to post anything. And you don't have to bother telling people and them not listening to your wishes.
ReplyDeleteOr listen to everyone else, let it go and be in the moment.
At a recent wedding, the officiant paused before beginning the ceremony and told guests that it was the official "photo op", and they should stow their cameras away for the entire ceremony afterward. I didn't see any cameras out after the rabbi announced that the photo op was over. Neither the bride nor the groom had any time to look at their phones/Facebook the rest of the night, and they mentioned they were really happy to see how excited everyone was to post pictures of the wedding, once they finally looked at them.
ReplyDeleteI am probably going to do something similar during/immediately before my ceremony in December. People in my family are a bit obsessed with taking photos (though maybe not so much with posting everything on the internet).
Like some suggested above, if you are adamant that nothing be taken/posted, the only way to be sure would be to confiscate cell phones/cameras or get a cell phone blocker - but I can only imagine that causing more problems than it could solve (like if a vendor needs to reach someone, and their phone doesn't work because you've blocked cellular reception for your guests).
We've been to a few weddings where the master of ceremonies made a light-hearted announcement before the festivities began that the bride and groom request abstaining from cell phone use during the ceremony — including pictures. I think this makes a lot of sense where there are multiple official photographers running around, snapping every imaginable moment and angle.
ReplyDeleteThat said, at our wedding where we had 1 photographer, people started uploading and sharing pictures almost immediately. We loved seeing their perspective and am glad that people snapped the pictures that they did because there were some unique shots that wouldn't exist otherwise. To each his and her own!
Same here. I really enjoyed seeing all of the photos uploaded to Facebook the morning after the wedding and then in the days following. (My husband and I stashed our phones before the ceremony - his request, which I happily honored - and didn't check Facebook until the next day.)
DeleteWe got married somewhere without cell service. Worked like a charm.
ReplyDelete