And I was anxious about looking like a fish. Pshhh, bride problems.
My Mom reads wedding blogs, so I am too much of a wuss to relate the details.
Long story short, my Dad has a drug problem. He kept his shit together most of my life, so his current drugged out wackiness still manages to surprise me. His behavior on the day before the wedding, during the ceremony, and at the reception was so outside of normal adult behavior (even intoxicated wedding guest behavior) that my Uncle called me after the wedding to see if my brother and I wanted to arrange an intervention. I cried in private several times on the day of the wedding, but had tried not to not dwell on my Dad. The day after the wedding I asked my brother if he thought anyone else had noticed my Dad's antics, or if I was just tuned into his behavior because it was my wedding. His response was that you would have to had been unconscious the entire time NOT to have noticed. I cannot even count the number of people who have asked me since, "So, what's the deal with your Dad?" My wife and I were really concerned about her conservative Christian family doing or saying something hurtful; we were totally worried about the wrong family member.
Yeah, my dad was sober for 8 years and started drinking right after I got engaged. Like, that night. A friend told me that repeating "as long as we get married at the end of the day" to herself was a great way to keep everything in perspective while planning her wedding. I had to add "and my dad stays sober." Luckily he pulled it together the day of, and a year later he finally went into rehab and just came home last week. I hope your dad gets the help he needs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry -- it's so hard.
ReplyDeletemy dad is a long time alcoholic, on and off sober for the last 7 years. it's really difficult to have that be at your wedding, but i am very proud of you for focusing on your wife instead of your dad that day. yes, your dad might have been a shit show, but that's on him, and there is no need to answer anyone's questions about it or pay it any attention when you think back to your wedding day. Focus on your love instead (cheesy at that sounds). Don't give your Dad's behavior too much room in your head.
With my wedding, I came to the conclusion that if my Dad was drinking or not, I was going to have a beautiful, fun wedding day, and the only "steps" I took was to make sure our bartenders felt comfortable cutting people off, even if that person was the FOB. It didn't come to that -- he was sober that night -- but he and his addiction is a part of my life that i just can't ignore. I have hope it gets better, but I'm accepting the reality, you know? Big hugs to you and prayers for your Dad.
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ReplyDeleteI feel for you... My father is an alcoholic and was so wasted (angry, cursing, yelling) on the morning of my wedding day that I decided to leave him at his house and exclude him from the whole wedding (I had planned for a limo to pick him up and bring him to the venue).
ReplyDeleteIt might sound cruel, but I couldn't bare the thought of having him walk me down the aisle stumbling and cursing. He was so drunk that he wouldn't have remembered anything the next day anyway... So hugs and kisses for you :) - Keg