Dear ESB,
This is a low-grade issue and I'm grateful that with a month to go before my wedding this is my big question. However, I seem to have fixated on it am generally over-thinking and could use a blunt opinion.
We're having a very low-key outdoor grill-out wedding this June at my parents' Christmas tree farm. The set-up is a bit wonky: small gathering of close family/friends with snacks, lawn games, etc. in the early afternoon, wedding ceremony in the evening, and then opening it up to a larger community (I'm from a very small town so everyone just sorta shows up, there's no stopping it) for dancing, cake, merriment, etc.
My question is about my wardrobe. I have a beautiful, simple wedding dress I chose because I feel like me in it and it's comfortable. My original plan had been to just wear it all day because why not. It's great. But now I'm wondering if this is going to be somehow anti-climactic for people, most importantly my fiance, because there will be no "moment" at the actually ceremony when he'll/they'll see me in the dress for the first time... does this matter?
Should I wear a sundress (I do have a nice new one I could use) during the day and then have a costume change right before the ceremony? Do I just enjoy wearing my great wedding dress all day?
*****
Just wear it all day because why not. It's great.
You can do the big reveal with a croquet mallet in your hand.
If you love it and want to... then definitely wear it all day. Why don't you set up a little 'first look' at the beginning of the day so that you and your man get your 'moment.' Then you can move on to the fun!
ReplyDeleteAgree 100%! Plus, having that first look with him will remove any jitters, etc. It's your special "reveal" time and that moment when you two can be all "LET'S DO THIS".
Deletethis is a great idea ... that first moment is so special, no matter how casual your big day is.
DeleteIf you want to wear it all day, wear it all day! Your guests are coming to see you get married and have a nice party. You shouldn't write the script of your wedding day like a fucking screenplay--just let it happen! The whole notion that there must be some climactic reveal is incredibly nerve-wracking for shy, anxious people like me.
ReplyDeleteI think the question isn't whether it'll be anti-climactic for other people, but whether it'll be anti-climactic for you. If you don't care, then stay in your lovely wedding dress all day. But if a costume change sounds fun to you, go for it and don't worry that it makes you dramatic or high maintenance or whatever.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I spill stuff on myself a lot, so I would think twice about wearing a white dress around food and drinks and hugs and lawn games before the ceremony.
I agree with this! It kind of sounds like you would rather have the traditional reveal, and it would be disastrous if you spilled something. Or just be sure to drink vodka-soda instead of red wine? Ha.
DeleteGreat suggestion. There's just something about seeing that look on his face when he first sees you, definitely recommend this idea!
DeleteI also thought it sounded like you were the one feeling like you kind of wanted the big reveal...if so, go for it! You've already go the second dress, too!
DeleteMaybe you should see what your fiance thinks about this question. If he doesn't have a strong preference, do whatever feels most special to you! Both options will be really great and meaningful no matter what.
Wear it all day.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Frances on this one. I think the question is posed as "anti climactic" for the guests, but if it were me I would want a costume change for myself and for the hubby so that there is something sort of special about the ceremony and distinguishing it from the rest of the day. I would take a few minutes...freshen up after lawn games and hours of being outside in the sun, change clothes and do something fancier with my hair and makeup....so that there is a distinction in MY mind. also...you really do run the risk of spilling something on it or getting it dirty and wouldn't you rather not have to worry about it?
ReplyDeletebut that said....do whatever makes you happy. it's your day.
If it were me, I'd totally want a change (and a chance to get refreshed before the ceremony), but that's my preference. Do what your gut tells you!
ReplyDeleteyour day will be filled with special moments, it will still be special the first time you see each other in the morning, and it will be special as morning and evening guests arrive.
ReplyDeleteYou can have your big moment be when all the guests have gathered and you can walk out to them and your partner to get a chance at a reveal and to see their faces, maybe immediately have a toast. And then later when the evening guests come it will be new again to them, so you almost get that twice. I don't think the reveal necessarily has to be for the ceremony. But it's up to you! You could wear the dress all day and then right before the ceremony do your hair a little different, add some bridal accessories and the bouquet, and your man will still be surprised and in awe as you come down the aisle.
Good luck!
Wish we could see the dress..I like the sound of this wedding.
ReplyDeleteThere IS something special about the ceremony. In fact there IS A LOT ...and IT IS NOT A DRESS...you people can't be serious...
ReplyDelete