Girl. by Band of Outsiders

I don't usually post strapless dresses, because meh.

But a little birdie told me, "you NEED to post this!"

Charlotte Silk-Georgette Gown avail in various sizes (and at various sale prices) here, here and here



It's sale season, in case you missed the memo.

MUST-TAKE WEDDING PHOTOS (a short list)

When I opened my email this morning, I found this missive from the princess_fairy.....

Dear ESB,

After reading so many MUST and MUST NOT TAKE photo lists [such as this one from RealfuckingSimple?], I have gained enough knowledge as to create my own list (yes...I am a really THAT SMART) and would like to share it with you (and your readers! I am addicted to ESB, not in a good way..is there a good way to be addicted? well, that's a different story all together-forget this)

And the winners are...

Take photos of the people, not posed, of people being themselves during the ceremony and the party time. You know this means your uncle will start breakdancing on the floor and your mom will cry so hard...(and there's always a boozy friend in the mix..) Just think of soup or paella! it always has a funny ingredient in the mix, but overall it's damn tasty!!!

Take photos of whichever moment you would like, but it would also be nice to choose some moments, intimate, not to be photographed. They will be stuck in the memories of people who created that instant and there will be no pictures to illustrate it, so it will only get better and better with time. This can be getting dressed or making a toast. Think about why we no longer want videos with the audio running every single moment...take it one step further and remove the images too. Life its made of memories, not photos. And we need them to get sweeter as time goes by, because life its bitter enough itself.

About object photos or landscape photos or posed photos (bridesmaids making human towers, bales of hay in front of your altar..) ...well, photos are there to illustrate what was going on and was important for you, so you have to make a choice. Think 24 hours and distribute, how many do you want to spend with people? how many do you want to spend posing for pictures? and how many you want your photographers to spend inmortalizing the details? (we will imagine you don't get to sleep on your wedding day so that you can get 8 extra hours..) For your own mental sanity and reality check think about 24 years of your life and distribute, how much time you want with friends? how much time you want with family? how much time you want with your new family (husband/wife, kids?) and how much you want DIYing and baking? There is plenty of time for everything, butyou need to CHOOSE, and try to choose as best as you can.

My list is short, I hope it's helpful.

Ooopss..just two short ones more:

DO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU WITH YOUR EYES OPEN...(I am not joking...have a look at super photo sessions on blogs...)

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN ALL PHOTOS (distribute, percentages, distribute...how much of you is you and how much of you is friends, family...you get the point)

When people are excited, overwhelemed with joy, they make funny faces, they have ticks, and thousand of wrinkles on their faces with super size grins. It's ok...this is life, welcome :)

whispers from fairyland

Photo: Kate Upton by Terry Richardson via Fashionising
______________________________

p.s. My apologies if your comment disappeared. I, um, deleted the post by accident this afternoon. They should take away my blogger's license.

Sale Shopping? Wearing Color?

Dear ESB,

I'm not sure if there is a straight answer to these questions, but hopefully you and your fashion savvy readers can help:

Is there an ideal season in which to go dress shopping? I'm not getting married until Spring 2013, so I feel like I have a TON of time before I need to figure that out. However, it would be nice to save some money if there is a sale season on dresses. Does that even exist in wedding dress land? 

Also, I'm considering going with an untraditional skirt/top combo. Would shopping for those pieces out-of-season be my best bet on finding sales?

As for the untraditional: I'd like to add something colorful (a tropical print? a bright skirt?). Is there a fail-safe way of doing that without looking like a clown?? The attached examples are just to help me explain how I currently imagine incorporating color...

- An all-over light pink dress
- A white skirt and colored top
- A vibrant skirt and neutral top

Please let me know if this is a horrible idea so I can save myself the embarrassment and waste of time!

Thanks!
Clueless But Bright(ly Dressed)

*****

As my friend A put it, "To wear tropical prints without looking like a clown, one must first not give a fuck whether one resembles a clown while wearing tropical prints."

This wee bit of advice can be applied to ANYTHING, of course. Hangliding, buying lube at Rite Aid, approaching a group of enthusiastic young fellows at the Tiki Ti and asking them to recommend a cocktail.

To __________ without looking like a clown, one must first not give a fuck whether one resembles a clown while __________.



Anyhoo.

At top, a Pleated Flower-Print Skirt from Proenza Schouler. Perhaps to be worn with...

an Alexander McQueen Sheer Lace Blouse? Am I out of my mind??

Barneys, Bergdorf Goodman and net-a-porter are all having pretty decent sales at the moment. Go have a look-see.

Because I wanted more pink on top of the blog.

Please Note: I may be having a nervous breakdown.



Photos by Fieldguided

Gradient Rose Tank

Someone should get married in this Scout & Catalogue silk tank with a rly pretty skirt.



I haven't found the skirt.

I've been neglecting the disco balls tag.

(Photo by Joshua Scott)

Why the f*ck do I need a Wedding Planner? (Sponsored by Lowe House Creative)

Confession: I'd never heard of Lowe House Creative until Elizabeth approached me about sponsorship.... But based on our rapid-fire, cheerful, INCREDIBLY EFFICIENT email correspondence, I'd happily recommend her to anyone.

Here's Elizabeth:

So, why the f*ck do you need a Wedding Planner or Coordinator? It's just an extra unneeded service that the wedding industry is trying to con you into spending money on, right? Well... not really.

OK, the truth is, you don't need a Wedding Planner. Weddings are by nature a kind of luxury (for the sake of this piece we're going to define "wedding" as not an elopement, or a restaurant meal following a courthouse ceremony, or a thrown-together-in-a-month barbecue, even though those are some of my favorite kinds of weddings), and hiring someone to help you plan your wedding is a luxury as well. A wedding is just a large (albeit special) party, and the truth is that anyone is capable of planning a party.

That said, you might want a Planner. Why? Here are just a few reasons:

1. You've never planned a big party and even thinking about it makes your head hurt. You literally have no idea where to start (pro-tip: start with making your guest list, the number of guests determines everything else), what your options are, where to find a caterer/venue/florist/DJ, what those people normally charge, if it's possible to have the type of wedding you want for the amount of money you want to spend, etc. A fair amount of my clients come to me after having been engaged for quite a while, because they kept getting stuck on one of the above, and finally just wanted to get the damn thing over with already.

2. Your family is difficult, wants super different things in a wedding than you do, and they don't take you seriously. A wedding planner can help convince your mother/sister/cousin-in-law/step-grandmother that actually, yes, the type of wedding you want is not only OK, it's been done before, people will love it, no problem you can actually fit this many people into this space/feed them food off a truck/only serve beer and wine/not toss your bouquet/whatever. You know why? Because we're experts. The type of family member who is going to fight with you about your wedding is also the type of family member who will probably listen to an expert the most.

3. You want to save money. A lot of wedding planners out there advertise that they will save you as much or more money than they will charge you. I won't make that claim. While I do end up saving the vast majority of my clients money, it's just too hard to quantify. Sometimes I save my clients money in really concrete ways: they use vendors I have relationships with who give them discounts,* or they use supplies that I have on hand. But many of the ways I save my clients money are less concrete: I'm able to negotiate contracts down with full knowledge of the industry behind me, tell clients when a particular service they're looking at is overpriced and suggest an alternative, suggest cheaper ways for achieving the aesthetic they want, or tell them where they can cut things that really don't matter. All potential giant cost savings, all hard to quantify.

4. You will (often) get better service from your other vendors. As one of my clients put it, "I'm never going to have another wedding, so these people will never get repeat business from me, and thus have very little incentive to go above normal service standards for me. You, however, have the ability to send them a ton of business if you like them, so it's in their best interest to really impress you." And it's true. Vendors are much more likely to give my clients amazing service because they want to maintain a good relationship with me.

Now, you can get by without a Wedding Planner, but you actually do need a Wedding Coordinator. You don't necessarily have to hire a professional, but you do need to appoint someone to be in charge of the big picture. The majority of my clients tend to fall into two camps 1) really organized, borderline control-freaks who know that if they don't put someone competent in charge they will try to coordinate their own wedding 2) people who really just want to have a good time, don't super care about all of the little things, and want to hand off responsibility to someone competent so that they can party.

Someone should be in charge of setting up, checking in vendors, making sure things generally run on time, that everyone gets fed, that everyone is doing what they're supposed to be doing, that everyone who needs to be paid gets paid, and that things get cleaned up and all of your stuff gets out of the building at the end of the night. 

And this is the thing: something goes wrong at every wedding. It's almost always something that can be fixed -- you run out of wine/cups/soda halfway through the reception, somehow the cake forks/boutonnieres/coffee/napkins don't make it to the venue, the power dies/toilet paper runs out/it rains/the chairs are set up wrong/your bustle rips out/your keys get locked in the car before the ceremony. These things are all fixable, but someone has to deal with them. And ideally that someone is not someone who will be seriously bummed to miss the first dance/toasts/cake cutting.

To finish, a note: if you are hiring a Planner or Coordinator, make sure they are someone both of you like and trust. The relationship between wedding planner and client is surprisingly intimate -- weddings combine three of life's most stressful things together into one big ball of wonderfulness: family, money, and societal expectations. Inevitably some of your personal insecurities and family drama are going to come out. When they do, you're going to want someone around who you feel comfortable with, and who you know has your back. 

And in the end, that is why I love my job -- yeah, I get to plan rad parties and be around lots of pretty things. But really? I get to help super awesome people be a little more sane, a little more relaxed, and have a little more fun while they're making and celebrating a major life step. It's pretty great.

(Photo by Gabriel Harber)
______________________________

*I have a policy of not taking kickbacks from vendors that is actually written into my contract. If a vendor gives my clients a discount for coming to them through me, my clients get that discount. I don't pocket it or even a portion of it. Not all wedding planners do this, so I'd recommend you ask any potential planner what their policy about this is before you hire them. 

Hello, Lover.

This White Magick capsule collection is only available at Lover's Sydney flagship store.

Is that too far to travel from Queensland?

I mean, American brides make the trip cross-country to visit stupid Kleinfeld, amirite?

(Thank you to Emma for the hot tip.)

Pregnant Bridesmaid

Dear ESB,

I must admit, I've been an avid reader of your blog, beginning in my planning stages of my wedding up until now -- almost a year and a half after the wedding went down. Not to mention, it's the only weddingish blog I still keep up with. You're awesome.

Now, I never thought I'd be writing you, especially because I'm done with all that wedding stuff... right?

Wrong. Here's the thing.... I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. The date is set for the end of September. I just found out that I'm pregnant.... and get this: I'm due at the end of September. She even said to me a while back: "Just don't get pregnant right now and miss my wedding!" Oops. (This isn't an "intentional" baby, though, so I wasn't acting maliciously?)

I could:

a) Call her up and politely resign as bridesmaid, telling her I'll still be as actively involved as possible, (ie: I'll go to her bridal shower, but I won't go to all bridesmaid events, and maybe I'll fashion some DIY things for her because she's into that whole thing), but I will definitely miss the big day.

b) Still be a "bridesmaid," for the duration of her planning time, but just not be at the wedding. (This involves several 10 hour car rides, and potentially a few flights to be present at all important bridesmaid-required events plus all of the other things she would have me do).

c) Call her up and politely resign from all bridesmaid duties, explaining that planning to have a baby is enough in itself to drive a woman mad, and frankly, I only have a limited amount of sanity to go around.

d) Call her and ask her what she wants my role to be and leave myself in the problematic position of letting her make the final call, trusting that she would pick something that will both help her plan her wedding, and still allow me to stay sane.

Not to mention, I have a sneaking suspicion that she'll be greatly distressed about my baby news, and that kills me a little bit too because under any other circumstance I know that she'd be overjoyed about it. Not that she's a bridezilla or anything, but she definitely wants her day to be her day, and I don't blame her.

I love her, and I want to support her in her marriage to this super cool guy (who, I might add, my husband and I introduced her to), but I don't want to ruin our relationship because I can't actually be involved on the day of her wedding. I can be supportive ahead of time, right?

Any insight would be most appreciated.

*****

Um, yeah. This is your best friend?? She's gonna be uber bummed that you're missing her wedding.

You can't just RESIGN, lady. I don't care how fat/tired you are. And asking her "what she wants your role to be" is super passive-aggressive. She wants you to be her fucking bridesmaid.

Which leaves us with b) Still be a bridesmaid.

If they take a 10 hour car ride to Vegas in your eighth month, then obviously you've got an excuse to bail. But, I mean, come on. What are all these fucking duties that all these brides are dumping on their fucking friends??

Joshua Scott Toy Font via Trendland

THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE DIAMONDS

May 14, 2012

Hello ESB -

It's simple: I like old, he likes new. I like a story and a particular style, he likes shiny and flashy. I collect allsortsofthings and have a clear aesthetic identity, he... well, not so much.

We both work with our hands (he's a touring musician, I'm a photographer, mixed-media artist, waitress, and teacher) so our rings have to be durable.

I have been looking at a wide range of engagement rings from vintage/antique (eriebasin, ebay) to new but off-beat (catbird, bario-neal, conroy & wilcox) and just can't find something that's NEW (and according to him, doesn't have anyone else's SHIT attached to it) but has the kind of soul I want. Here are some rings that have appealed to me thus far and perhaps you can make some other suggestions?

Elisa Solomon Ancienne (with matching band!?)

Digby & Iona Bears

Erie Basin Deco

EraGem Deco


As you can see I am all over the place. HELP?!

Though we aren't even engaged yet, (yes I am thinking this far ahead), I want to engrave a wave-form into a ring kind of like Sakurako Shimizu (i do rings) but engraved rather than cut through for his band (don't worry, they will say something other than "I do..") and am looking for an artist who is capable and would enjoy a commission like this. (I might get a matching one too, just daintier.. but it would have to be just right...)

We just moved from down South to Boston for a bit, but don't know where we will be getting married. He travels all over so location isn't much of an issue for checking out rings. Thoughts?

Also, I love reading your smart-assery and I think you always have spot-on style suggestions.
kthx.

xo

*****

May 24, 2012

Hello Again Sweet ESB,

Sorry to be a bother again, but I saw your twitter post of one of the new Digby & Iona Diamond rings and figured you'd have the downlow on when the collection would be released and if one would have to be in some super-special club to get their hand in one.

(I emailed you a week or so asking about rings and I'M SORRY TO BE A SQUEAKY WHEEL AND ALL THAT CRAP.. I know you must get annoyed with obnoxious repeat emailers, last time, I promise.)

And I love their stuff. And I know my man is paying close attention to my strategically left open tabs of your posts about different ring styles I like and my fav vintage finds etc. as he has informed me he is doing it all on his own without consulting my friends or mother.

*****

Voila!

Leave this baby open for a few hours.

Creepy Brit masks are the new... Something.

Maddie just emailed me:

Saw the photos of the Queen and Philip and almost died. One of my couples busted out a William mask during our engagement shoot last year.

So this is the new animal masks/giant balloon/whatevs right?

P.S. My couple actually had this just lying around their house. Which is what makes them AWESOME and not weird. Or at the very least, weirdly awesome.

Happy Saturday, people.

I WANNABE USCHI

dear esb.

i love the golden rolling stones era and would like to go for a look a la anita pallenberg [image 1], bianca jagger, uschi obermaier [image 2] with a modern twist. in reality, I have no clue where to look. I don't seem to be able to find something I like.

maybe genius esb or her adorable readers have some ideas ?

I attached some photos. I am a medium size if that matters, like my legs and decollete - my waist not so much, have blonde wavy hair. we're going to elope (with family) and surprise our friends with an invitation to a wild party afterwards.

THANK YOU <3
Wannabe-Uschi ;)

PS, feel free to correct my bad english

*****

Here's hoping you are SMOKING HOT, my dear wannabe.* That is going to be the key ingredient.

A few ideas for dresses

Clockwise: Vintage Josefina Gauze Gown, Lover Ivory Wiccan Dress (also avail here), Vintage 70s Halson, Erin Fetherston Wrap Dress. 

Two of these were reader suggestions over here -- you might want to check out all the comments.

______________________________

*Have you read/listened to the Keith Richards book? Speaking of men with SMOKING HOT taste in women.

on wedding themes

Dear ESB,

I need to ask you a favour...I need you to write about 'themes'. In my 'defense' I have to mention we do not have such a thing in Spain and just started exporting it from the US, but...

what is an organic engagement?
why would someone want to be married in fairyland?
what is vintage-chic, urban-cowboy, black tie-martians????

What the hell is a wedding for an average US citizen? You tell me please...I am so over colour palettes plus themes plus...it's too much for me.

My question is...is a wedding a disguise party?
and a birthday too, right? we also have cowboy and pirates and fairies here...
and organic engagements..

I would love to see pictures of a wedding with NO decor, NO DIY, NO party favours, NO external beauty...just inner beauty...

The next thing after photographing childbirth is themed childbirth, right?

Yes I can see that...I was born a princess...bad luck my dad was not ready with a cookie wand and a tutu (sorry that's a fairy...)

I don't mean to hurt anyone...but I needed to bust it out.

I like who I am, no disguise, I may or may not like who my family and friends are, but I trust that letting them be who they are is more important than coordinating their shoes. I loved seeing my people glow in our wedding, and having a good time, and some looked gorgeous and other's looked gorgeous too, just in different ways. Some photos were great and other's are bad, they show how nervous we were, how tired we got and how difficult life was being at that time for our families. My husband chose what he wanted to wear and I did not get to see it beforehand. He has a personality, you know? and he was not happy being dressed as a dwarf, just like I had expected (for my fairyland...you see)

I did not WOWWW at all aspects of my wedding at first, but I can WOWWW at them all life long. People keep letting us know how happy they were, how much they enjoyed it, but this will stop...I am happy as long as they keep calling, keep trusting, keep sharing with us. In...fairyland...

Love,
The princess_fairy

P.S: do you have carnivals?..

*****

Here's what I think about wedding "themes."

If you're getting married in a raw loft space or an empty backyard, or, say, throwing your reception in a desolate catering hall, a theme and/or a motherf*cking color scheme will help you to pick out the chairs + tablecloths, narrow down what kind of centerpieces you want, etc. Nobody says you have to have centerpieces or flowers or bunting or any of that shit, but do you want to do the thing in an ugly blank space just to make a point? I don't think you do.

You can take the color scheme to an extreme, and tell your bridesmaids exactly what shade of purple, cocktail-length dresses they are required to wear, at which point they will email me because they can't find anything under $200. THANKs.

And you can -- obviously -- take the theme to a crazy extreme, maybe because you always wanted a fairyland themed birthday party and you never got one? Not sure about that.

Anyhoo.

Here in the US we have a penchant for taking things too far. Though I have never been to Spain, my dear princess_fairy, I suspect y'all are a little more.... restrained over there. I hope you are.

p.s. I guess an organic engagement means you're holding a cabbage bouquet and/or a pitchfork in the fucking engagement photos?? Please advise.

Image: Mel Robson via The Jealous Curator

Lovely Jubilee Photoshoot aka I shot the Queen...

Dear East Side Bride

In England we have these people called The Queen and Prince Phillip. 

The Queen and Prince Phillip are all over the press at the moment because The Queen has been The Queen for 60 years and we all get to have a day off work and hang up bunting and drink gin until we throw up on our own shoes.

Because The Queen and Prince Phillip have reigned over this fair country for such a long time, they called me up* and asked me to take some pictures of them.**  

I was very surprised when they said they wanted to have their picture taken on a housing estate (that's a bit like a housing project in the US) but they bought a nice picnic so, you know.

The Queen loved me so much that we are now BFFs and she has promised that she'll make me next in line to the throne.***

My mate, The Queen, said she'll cut your head off if you say no.****

*this may be a lie
** also a lie
***and again
****this is actually TRUE.  REALLY, REALLY TRUE.

Anyway, I'm asking you because you like taking the piss out of shit stuff. 

Thanks and have a good day!

Laura

*****

These were so bizarre I had to publish them.

Also, your letter is quite endearing.

Alt Photography Workshop + POOL PARTY (Sponsored by Feather Love)

Feather Love (aka Noa), one of my fave photographers and hands-down the biggest rabble-rouser ever to write a guest post for esb, is doing a workshop in San Diego on June 28-29.

I'll let her tell you more:

Technical photography workshops are awesome, necessary, and extremely productive – but this is not one of them. Here are six reasons why my workshops are different:

1) I’M NOT A ROCKSTAR

I am not a “rockstar photographer.” I’m just a person who is sometimes totally full of shit, but I also spend a lot of time working on myself as an artist and I really really care about my work. My focus is on the quality of work we put out there, and most importantly our personal relationship to that work & what it can teach us. I am honest and revealing and have no intention of pretending to be someone I am not. I am not going to tell you how to skip the hard part & become a successful photographer overnight – QUITE THE CONTRARY.

(Photo of Feather Love in her studio by her husband Stuart)

2) FOCUS ON THE ARTIST

One of the main subjects I cover in the workshops, is how critical I believe it is to connect with our work & put ourselves into our art. Often times, photographers will focus on finding more expensive equipment, or spending hours looking at the work of other photographers in their industry for inspiration. As artists, we need to put ourselves & our experience into the work we are producing in order to create something that stands out & resonates with us. A majority of people who attend my workshops are photographers, but because I focus on The Artist, I often have other creative business people in attendance too – like bloggers, calligraphers, magazine editors, writers etc.

(Some of Feather Love's images from past workshops)

3) BREAKING THE RULES

My work is certainly not for everyone. I focus more on what intuitively clicks inside me while I’m shooting than I do on perfection in composition, lighting etc. In fact, I often do what would be considered “technically wrong” in order to get the results I want. I have seen a million pretty photos, but it’s often the blurry, strangely-cropped, under/over-exposed images that stand out for me the most. Why? Because I can personally relate to them. Because they reveal something deeper, more beautiful, more honest, more human. Let’s just say that if I had to choose between Ansel Adams and Diane Arbus, I’m going with Arbus.

4) ROUNDING IT OUT

Besides my more philosophical lectures, I also cover real-world examples from my experience, discuss experimentation, how to get the clients you want, self-branding and many other practical subjects. I leave ample time for Q & A to structure each workshop around the attendees. I invite incredible guest lecturers to focus on subjects that are vital in running your own creative business. For example: Anne Sage on the important role of social media in self-branding (Bay Area + San Diego Workshops), Chloe Aftel giving a hands-on Polaroid class that will blow your mind (Bay Area + San Diego Workshops), Emma Case on not compromising (London Workshop) etc. These are artists & creative people whom I admire and respect and have learned so much from.

(Images from previous workshops: first and last image by Feather Love, all others by Woodnote Photography)

5) THE AFTER PARTY

Yes, we spend a few good hours discussing all sorts of deep, intense and important topics – I pose vital questions that we need to ask ourselves… blah blah, BUT I also believe in not taking stuff too seriously. If we’re going to work hard, we’re going to relax and/or play hard too. Some of my workshop after parties have included:

glamping sleepover in a giant beach house overlooking the ocean with musical guests Tim & Nicki Bluhm (video by Bay Area workshop attendee Sara Wilbur Photography)

dirty-hip-hop dance parties (London & Italy video by Son Of Shark Pig)

… and sometimes celebrity guests! The beautiful Sarah Carter will be our model for the San Diego workshop.

Wine & friends, plus clean & tasty gourmet food is of utmost importance! (Nicole of Gjleina is catering!) … And we will also be taking some hard-core pool breaks.

6) CONNECTION

I love how people keep in touch after my workshops – they become friends, ask for help reviewing an edit, travel across the country to hang out together, do awesome photo projects together, or even start a Facebook group specifically for all the people in the workshop they attended, including me. It’s RAD.

I am so extremely super-excited about my upcoming 2-day workshop on June 28th & 29th at my house and studio in San Diego! You can learn all about it HERE. Find out more about my workshops, content I discuss, videos & interviews with me, attendee testimonials and more HERE.

(At top: Photos by workshop attendees Shutter Sam & Brosnan Photographic, plus Feather Love's images of A B & The Sea in her pool & Anne Sage in her studio)

If I Were A Bridesmaid

You guys keep on writing in to ask me for purple bridesmaids dresses under $200, and I'll keep posting gorg stuff that is out of your price range.

Whoopsy.

(See more over at shabd)

Do I Have to Plan My Fiance's Bachelor Party?

Hi ESB, 

I've got an awkward situation... My fiance is in Australia, the wedding is in Portland, and I'm up here waiting for him. FH has three groomsmen: A brother coming from Australia, the Best Man from Canada, and my brother in California. We're going to have a bachelor/bachelorette party on the same night (different locations of course), two days before the wedding. It's the earliest day all our friends will be there, except the Best Man who can't arrive until the day of the wedding. 

Well, my ladies have got my end of things all under control. I know it's a bit squished, having the bachelorette party, then the rehearsal dinner, then the wedding, but we are a laid back group, and I'm not worried. I'm also putting shots of vodka in my morning coffee to help build tolerance for that weekend.

However, I'm out of sorts as to what to do for my man... He shouldn't have to plan his own bachelor party, but I sure as hell don't want to plan it either, that's just weird. But his BM can't make it, and the other two grooms know nothing about the area. Should I tell FH to work it out himself when he gets here (five weeks before the wedding), or make a list of awesome places in town and hand it to the FBIL and wish him luck?

Your wisdom is much appreciated.

*****

Stay the fuck out of it. The boys will figure it out.

Photo by Herring & Herring for Nordic Man via Design Scene

WHO SHOULD BE MY F***ING MOH?!

Dear ESB,

Here's the deal.

We've been engaged for a couple of months & officially haven't contacted who we want to be in our wedding party.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHOULD BE MY F***ING MOH!

I've never really had "girlfriends" per se but have always been close to my 2 sisters & 2 cousins. I have also gotten fairly close to my FH's brother's GF of many years & my own brother's GF of many years.

Here's the breakdown of their situations: 

My Sisters are both in college= broke/ really young
1st Cousin= starting grad school, so going to be= broke/super busy
2nd Cousin= starting new job w/ crazy hours + is single mom= broke/ busy mom
1st GF= finished law school & is feeling the impending doom of her loans kicking in= soon to be broke
2nd GF= going to graduate from college this spring=broke

I know that whoever I would choose would totally do their best given their circumstances, bc they're all great gals...but as you can see they are all not in the best situation to be a MOH right now. I feel like I'd be throwing the 2 cousins & 2 GFs a curve ball...I'm sure they wouldn't be surprised to be part of the party, but not MOH. My sisters wouldn't be offended if I didn't choose them bc they know they would most likely be in over their heads. 

Do you have to have a MOH? Wouldn't it be super weird not having one especially since my FH is going to have one? I like the idea of a MOH if I was in Utopia, but the thought of having to burden someone w/ this makes me feel like crap/stresses me out. I mean, I think they'd be too nice to say, "Uhhhh....whaaaaat?....I have NO TIME...uhhh...oh God, I'm going to be sooo poor!" 

I wouldn't mind not having a bridal party at all, but my FH said he totally wants to have his dudes in the wedding. 

P.S. Now that I think about it, they might have that reaction just being in the bridal party in general...both require their time & $$$  -____-

*****

You don't have to have a Maid of Honor. (You don't have to do anything.) And it would be silly to just pick the lady you think would be least inconvenienced.

But: Stop worrying about all that time and money bullsh*t. Being a bridesmaid should be a privilege, not a burden.

Tell your ladies all you ask is that they show up at the wedding and stand by your side.

Photo by Nicole Bentley for Vogue Australia via Fashion Gone Rogue

Me: super nervous about getting married, being centre of attention and want to grab a few minutes alone with the boy prior to the wedding ceremony. 

Him: magical, super romantic moment pictured of seeing me for the first time walking up the aisle. 

Can there be a happy compromise??

*****

Just don't do fucking First Look photos, whatever you do.

lil wedding earring roundup

Theodore Stud Earrings from Macha ($265)

Mountain Studs from Mociun ($195)

Gold Ball Studs by Satomi Kawakita at Steven Alan ($528)

Lee Hale Black Rose Thorn Earrings at Erie Basin ($205)

Oxidized Bronze Faceted Earrings from mikinora ($44)

my sponsors are the coolest

Check out this custom photo album that Christina Richards commissioned from Hinged Strung Stitched.

I think my wedding polaroids are still in the refrigerator.

Either that or they're in one of H's desk drawers?

We haven't even printed the 35mm negs.

garden formal wedding attire?

Hi!

I will be the guest of my boyfriend to a June outdoor wedding held upstate in June. The invitation says the attire is garden formal with hats encouraged. I'm ok with the hat idea. In fact, I'm kinda excited. But the dress situation is freaking me out. I am "that girl" who only wears black.

What the hell does a girl like me wear to a wedding advertising "lawn games" after the catholic ceremony?? I'm not opposed to floral or lace for a wedding, but I dont have the slightest idea where to begin. 

Please please help.

*****

GARDEN FORMAL?  WITH LAWN GAMES??

Jesus H.

I think you should wear this Cynthia Vincent (so Stealing Beauty, right?) with a wrap to throw around your shoulders inside the church, and a wide brim hat by my friend Gladys Tamez.
______________________________

Many thanks to the catbird blog!

UGG launches the “I DO” Wedding Collection

Featured styles are perfect for walking down the aisle, rehearsal dinners, receptions or a spa day post-festivities.

IS THAT SO?

Dear ESB: My Cousin is Cray Cray

I come from a very colorful family, part of which is made up of my step-dad's super crazy, ultra-waspy extended family. Having holiday dinners with them is like hanging out with Lucille Bluth, Sue Sylvester, and Napoleon Dynamite all at the same time.

Enter my cousin. She's getting married in September to a man she met online and conned into marrying her. (I'm not exaggerating. After three or four dates he said, "I could see myself spending forever with you" and she immediately started making a guest list for the wedding. She is cray cray.)

My sister and I have been looking forward to this shitshow for months (my cousin is spoiled and mean, so we've channeled our bitterness into quietly hating her behind her back) but the problem is that I now live on the opposite side of the country. On the one hand, I know I should go because my family will be there and it's one of the few times I'll get to see the nicer parts of my step-dad's family. On the other hand, the only reason I actually WANT to go is because I know it will be a trainwreck and because my sister and mom will murder me if I don't share this moment with them.

So, is it ok to spend upwards of $1K to fly out for a wedding that I've mostly made fun of for 7 months and only want to witness with the kind of motivation usually reserved for watching The Jersey Shore?

P.S. She's getting married on the anniversary of the day her mom died. While I definitely can appreciate a tribute to a loved one, the day she died?

*****

There's no rule that says You May Only Attend A Wedding If Your Heart Is Pure And You Have Nothing But The Sincerest Well Wishes For The Happy Couple.



I mean. This sh*t is going down in the family history books. How can you miss it??

Photo by Kai Z Feng via Fashion Gone Rogue