Waiting to elope

Dear ESB,

My man and I have known we wanted to be together for the legal long haul for quite some time, and last year I asked him if he would be ok with eloping. He's always been very clear about how ready he is to sign on the dotted line, and said, "just let me know when you want to marry me." So I asked him one day how much notice he'd like--he said one day's notice. To save for rings and possibly a honeymoon, I talked him into a year's notice.

So I've thought about it and thought about it--all  the time I frustrate myself with this silly waiting game. We know we want to get married, we don't want to have a wedding, why not just do it? I've thought about giving "a year's notice" in November, for our anniversary. We're going to the mountains like we did last year (to stay with a very inspiring 83 year old German woman in an 19th century farmhouse, on her peacock farm run by 4 huge Alsatian dogs! Incidentally, the Frau thinks we're married and sends us mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Mylastname. Sehr suß.)

Then today, I don't know why, I thought: why don't we just elope this November? Another thing weighing on my mind is that I don't know how much longer my grandmother is going to be alive... we live on opposite sides of the country and she has decided it's too difficult for her to travel anymore. We're still very close, and last month I was lucky enough to spend 8 days with her. We talked extensively about marriage and relationships and I got her approval to marry my dearest. I know it would make her happy, and also fill the empty frame that she's been staring at in the hallway among all the family wedding photos. (She even hinted while I was there, "maybe one of the grandkids will get married!" The reason the frame is empty is quite sad--her youngest son--a preacher!--cut off all communication with the family.) Also, I know I want to wear my grandmother's beautiful blue velvet dress (with a leather jacket, naturally) to the courthouse. November would be just enough time to hem the dress and call a photographer--perfect, no?

Am I just making this way more complicated than it needs to be? It's an elopement for chrissake! Should I tell him I'd rather fuck this whole plan-an elopement-a-year-in-advance thing? OR should I surprise him when we're already in the mountains? He's my best friend--I feel like I've been sitting on this "year's notice" thing waiting for November to roll around when really we're married every day, just not on paper. OR should we really wait a year and save up for a kick ass honeymoon?

Sincerely,
Waiting to elope

*****

Surprise him.

Hem the dress, call a photographer, and give him one day's notice just like he asked you to.

p.s. Yay!!

Lola by Hilary Walsh, styled by Brett Bailey, makeup by Sara Glick for Unwind Magazine