Friday, August 5, 2011

Splurge on pretty + scrimp on the reception?


dear esb,

There's something in the water in west Australia at the moment, I've been to seven weddings already this year, and another of my closest friends just got engaged, and being the super organised type A personality that I am, I've been hired as de facto wedding planner. This is all wonderful, I'm happy to help, I love her etc.. but I've hit an area where I'm a bit out of my depth / could you use some advice/backup.

The couple are living in england, but are getting married in perth (they're both natives). So, they're on a pretty tight budget once you factor in their airfares, and the fact that they don't want to spend gazillions of dollars one day. My friend wants to splurge on her dress, the videographer (a peculiar expenditure, but this guy is amazeballs) and general 'prettiness.' She wants to scrimp on the reception, but still have an awesome party, and still have it look pretty and romantic. (not really scrimping, more just keeping cost per head down because they're expecting about 200 people)

She's also over the whole sit down at designated seats thing, as she thinks it's been done to death, and it doesn't promote interaction between guests. In fact, the only downside she sees to not having a sit down is that she can't strategically seat her single friends next to each other (her own words). So I suggested to her that they have a cocktail reception instead... food costs less, people mingle a lot, you need fewer decorations, and it is more conducive to that 'party!' vibe she seems to be wanting.

But then, my friend raised the concern that people secretly hate cocktail receptions (and this is where I need advice). Do people feel ripped off that they don't get a proper meal? do they feel like it's gauche to not have a full meal with two hours of speeches and alcohol by table service? Do people get annoyed at the fact that they have to stand up for five hours or so (there would of course be some chairs, but everyone knows they are monopolised by the over 65 crowd pretty early in the evening)? Nice people aren't likely to say anything about it, just whimper softly and shift from stiletto clad foot to foot.. but will they secretly be really pissed if it's not your typical wedding reception sort of gig?

Any advice you can offer would be absolutely grand!

Love,
Amateur Wedding Planner

Oh, PS: one last question.. there is an 95% chance that at the time of the wedding, the temperature will be upwards of 95F... this is fine for us perth locals, but is it likely that people coming from an english winter will be able to tolerate this, or should my friend try and find indoor reception/ceremony venues? I know you're not english... but it's pretty cold in some parts of america, right? (:


*****

Designated seats are "done to death" because they WORK. Old people and pregnant people and SHY PEOPLE don't have to fucking MINGLE like CATTLE with two hundred fucking people they don't know, and you can seat the bride's dad across the room from the groom's mom, who he can't stand.

And yes, you get to seat your single friends next each other. ORGANIZED MINGLING. Much more civilized.

p.s. 95 degrees is way too fucking hot.

Wild Clematis Flower Crowns by Amy Merrick via Anabela Carneiro via Catbird

56 comments:

  1. I'm not totally against the cocktail reception, but I do think it's weird that someone would want to "splurge" on a dress if they can't afford a nice reception with friends.

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  2. I hate sit down dinners that are organized.

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  3. I'm over sit down dinners. Especially in that heat. People like drinks in hot weathers but they like drinks where they can sit down, inside or out, there needs to be enough seating for everyone. Picnic blankets under cheap gazebos work. There also needs to be food, but hot weather food - salads, bbq, cold stuff. And there needs to be plenty of it, otherwise this fancypants wedding video is going to be 2/3 people looking pissed off, 1/3 people absolutely wasted.

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  4. Yeah the sit down dinner is boring and annoying.... but at least you get to sit down. Most of the ladies are in heels and you can't mingle when your feet are bleeding and you're trying to drink away the pain. I'm just picturing 95, hot, tired, drunk, hungry... adds up to leave early to me.

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  5. Agreed 100% with ESB. I TRIED to convince my little cousin to assign seats at her wedding where there was a sit-down dinner but she would not. My mom, brother, SIL, fiance and I ended up in a way back corner with some loser neighbors of hers who were sitting alone and I politely asked to join us. UGH.

    But seriously, what if you're the random co-worker and you don't know anyone? Dinner at least gives you a schedule to follow for a short period of time.

    A friend is getting married in a week and is not doing a sit down but a BBQ. It's more cocktail style in that there will not be a formal time for dinner nor enough tables for everyone. Again, I tried to convince her to assign seats, but no dice. At least hers is outside so I can plop down on some grass if I want.

    That said, I've been to an actual cocktail party reception - where there was a lot of food stations and highboys and such. It was fun and I did not feel put-out but I basically just did not eat and got shitfaced. It worked okay because their DJ was killer.

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  6. We did a cocktail reception, but it was 45 people in a space with a ton of lounge seating. It was also the food equivalent of a 6-course meal with 20 different hors d'oeuvre options being passed for four hours. We did a full open bar on top of that. The guests were happy (very drunk) and really enjoyed that the food was fresh and delicious. That being said, it cost us WAY more than a sit-down meal would have. With a party that size, I think a sit-down is a must.

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  7. That is too hot for the English (summer temps here average in the 60s). But, as long as there are indoor and outdoor areas, it should be fine.

    I think for locals a cocktail reception might be ok, but for people travelling thousands of miles to come, they might expect a bit more.

    Good luck planning!

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  8. I love cocktail receptions - for 40-75 people. But 200 people milling about in a hot, structureless environment is going to be hell. Especially for the introverts of this world. If you wanted to do it anyway, I think you could get away with it if you added something like activity stations. But fun. Think county fair. Or kindergarten. If it's going to be that hot you could have a water balloon throwing booth. You need some construct to move people through the space, and put them in contact with each other. Otherwise they are going to be stuck in "Well, nice to talk to you, I should, um, move on," misery.

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  9. Cocktail receptions are not automatically cheaper than sit down dinners...fussy little finger foods would cost way more from a caterer than a relatively simple sit down dinner, especially if you provide enough of them to prevent people from getting wasted on an empty stomach. And you don't have to have 2 hours of speeches, or any speeches at all, regardless of how you serve your food.
    Also, ditch the amazeballs videography if paying for it will make the actual wedding less, you know, amazeballs.

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  10. Here's my personal take:

    A) Get an indoor venue. Or at least give the guests somewhere to escape the heat. When I'm all dolled up in my cutest dress, I don't want to be dripping sweat, mkay?

    B) I love at cocktail-style food IF THERE'S ENOUGH OF IT. Regular dinners are overrated.

    C) One caveat: it's nearly impossible for people on special diets, due to food allergies or vegetarianism, to eat at these kinds of receptions because it's super hard to tell what's in each appetizer. I have a gluten allergy, so while I love appetizer-only meals, I generally can't partake :( If you have several guests on special diets, just be aware that they won't be able to eat anything.

    C) I'm introvert and I really fucking resent people who try to make me mingle with strangers. If you invited me to this wedding, I would stand around awkwardly and only talk to my friends. I'm sure the bride has friends like me, so you have been warned.

    D) If you do go the cocktail party route, please rent chairs. Standing around in high heels makes my feet hurt. Don't do that to your guests.

    E) People expect to drink, so make sure you're generous with the alcohol. Particularly if you're forcing them to stand around in heels.

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  11. We had a cocktail reception for 100 people (because hubby's idea of hell is 2 hours at a table with 8 people he doesn't really know).

    We faced all the same reservations (where will people sit! How will Grandma get food! But everyone coming from Europe will feel ripped off!).

    And it was awesome.

    People sat on chairs (ok, we had more chairs than people and it was important. Because 3 people will sit at a table for 4). And having several areas was great - people in the quieter area bonded over the quiet, people around the dance floor talked about the dancers. And the dancers, well, they danced.

    Grandma had 7 groomsmen charged with making sure she had food. 7 young men waiting on her. She was thrilled. Plus there were waiters passing some food and drink.

    The people from Europe were there to see us get married and celebrate with us. Not for a 'free' dinner. But we had tonnes of food anyway (because it was cheaper, we could have more).

    We had no entertainment, no game stations, no photobooth, and, I'll be honest, a crappy DJ. But everyone had fun. Really. But you could add all those things if you wanted.

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  12. Correction: E) People expect to drink more at cocktail parties...

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  13. If you do a sit down dinner, yes, you should assign seats. But if you want to avoid a sit down meal, cocktail is the way to go! I'm surprised ESB is against a cocktail party! Sit down dinners are so boring, so stodgy. But you should provide enough seating so that people don't have to stand all night. And, the party should start past dinner time, or else people will expect more of a meal - communicating this is key. But really, as long as there are enough seats to rest sore feet and for the old folk, and food and drink, people will be happy! If you feel ripped off for not having a full sit down meal at a wedding, you're there for the wrong reason.

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  14. PREACH ! for the love of everything Holy and Good in this world, PROVIDE SEATING.

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  15. 200 is wayyy too many people to mingle

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  16. I have yet to attend a wedding with seat assignments. Is this really that big of a "thing". We certainly didn't have them. People figured out where to sit just fine.
    I don't think people will be that disappointed if there isn't a full dinner. As long as you let them know ahead of time that it will be "light appetizers" they should be fine. You might also consider dessert and cocktails instead. Since apps might be just as expensive as a simple dinner.

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  17. buffets/bbqs are cheaper than your standard three-course served meal, why not opt for that to save some cash? still sit-down, but cheaper food costs, fewer servers to have to pay, etc

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  18. Wow- I am surprised at the hate for the cocktail reception. We did it with a guest list of 275. We had a mixture of passed hors d'oeuvres for a hour or so and then stations of savories from which folks could help themselves. For seating, we did a mixture of airport tables, 6-tops and 10-tops and had a kick ass band. Most of the wedding, the tables were empty and the dance floor filled. It was NYC in August (over 95 degrees) and we were very, very happy to be inside. So I say have at least an indoor option, and embrace the cocktail for the fun. It won't be cheaper than a sit-down meal, though, because people will certainly drink more. So if you're doing it for financial reasons, that's not the best reason.

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  19. Sit down dinners with assigned seating are totally overdone, because that's what we do and we think we can't do anything else. But we CAN do other things.

    A cocktail party is a fantastic idea as long as there is enough seating for EVERYONE. This seating can be high chairs at high tables (like a cocktail bar) or picnic tables or long tables or even folding chairs lining the walls of the reception. It can be a collection of furniture borrowed for the day to make everyone feel like they're in a dinner party at someone's house. It can be whatever and doesn't have to be assigned, but there MUST BE SEATING OPTIONS FOR EVERYONE.

    She doesn't have to assign seating just because everyone acts like it's a complete burden to mingle for a few hours. FUCK THAT! These are adults. They can have a fucking conversation with a stranger or arrange themselves in their cliques. If they are all the first cousins who are around the same age and want to hang out in the same corner, let them. If they are your neighbors who don't know many people an quietly talk amongst themselves, let them. If they are your one random friend from far away who doesn't know anyone and wanders around making conversation with new people, good.

    It's not her job to force your friends to mingle with her other friends who are strangers to others. But it is the her job to make the rounds and talk to all of her guests. So she might actually be busier, what with having to entertain everyone, like you do at a cocktail party.

    Also, if Perth has dry heat with humidity under 5%, 95 degrees will feel like 75 degrees and the English people will love it. As long as they aren't baking in the sun or melting in the humidity, that's not too hot. Trust me. I live in a climate that is MUCH colder than what England gets and MUCH hotter and more humid. I've also lived in the American deserts. 95% in the desert is NICE. I've lived in Florida too. 95% in Florida is DEATH. It's all about the humidity and not about the actual temperature.

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  20. So.... your friend wants you to organise a massive, cheap, chic wedding to please 200 people? You should check out a los angeles love (I was going to post a link, but you know how to work google), who did pull it off after a shitload of work.

    Personally I think sacrificing your guest's comfort (chairs) for an expensive dress is a mite self-centered but that's your friends call. Actually, here's the thing, if the wedding is casual but the dress is a full-on strapless meringue it'll be a bit of a disjuncture.

    Umm what else - 95 is very warm for British people but with shade and cool drinks and seats should be fine. Personally, I'm a buffet fan, you could have that with a seating plan.

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  21. organized seating blows. you don't get to enjoy the venue. our wedding was full of wanderers and dancers and happy drunks and it was fantastic. shy people be damned, your wedding isn't a speed dating sesh.

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  22. As a caterer, I can tell you with certainty that a cocktail reception often does cost more. It's just more labor, and therefore more dollars. You need more people to make and assemble the dishes, and more people to serve. That is, if it's going to executed properly with an even flow of decent food.

    Regarding seating assignments, most people appreciate at least a TABLE assignment. They can be big long picnic tables if you like, but it is considerate to give folks a home base. If you don't, no one will likely mingle with anyone they don't already know.

    My suggestion for a way to address all the concerns is first, to find a kick ass caterer who gets what you're trying to do. Be up front and say, we have this much money, what can we do? Second, have buffet stations if at all possible. That way the guests will be up and walking around, facilitating the mingling vibe. Just to warn you, if you decide on street food, you will need to hire a service staff yourself. You will need at least 4 people for bar tending and clearing. Third, get a great DJ who will encourage a party atmosphere. Fourth, start figuring out where the budget can be slashed. Like, for rlz. I'm
    going to nominate flowers to be the first budget area cut, followed closely by the champagne toast.

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  23. A, if it's 95 degrees and 5 hours long you need to provide enough seats for everyone.
    B, if you provide enough seats for everyone, people won't mingle, they will camp.

    then C: you should just assign seating.

    At my best friend's wedding there was no assigned seating. By the time we were done w photos and everything and made our way to the reception, the only seats available for me and my husband were way in the back with loser people. And I was the maid of honor!

    Assigned seating makes being a guest MUCH more pleasant and easy. And even if you want to scrimp on the party in favor of pretty, you still want your guests to have an enjoyable and worry-free time, yes?

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  24. While I love assigned seating, personally, I don't have an issue with a cocktail reception provided that:

    a. Alcohol is provided in decent quantities, along with finger food.
    b. Invitation CLEARLY STATES that it will be a cocktail reception, thus allowing people like me to eat something substantial beforehand to prevent ending up in a hunger rage.

    Also, people won't generally party as hard or stay as long and you need to provide at least some seats (I'd say enough seats for 1/2 to 3/4 of your guests).

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  25. Why are so few people pushing a buffet? What we did was buffet-style, with a few different lines offering different foods all over the venue. There was indoor AND outdoor seating, and a few tables were reserved for bridal party members and family. Not bad for the introverts, as the forced mingling was in the buffet/booze lines, the key members were guaranteed seating, and people could do what they wanted. We had multiple table sizes, too - 4-tops, 8-tops, and cocktail tables, in addition to patio furniture outside. As long as you mix it up, you'll be fine.

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  26. Assigned seating done to death? That is such a strange statement. Done to death are mustache photo booth props and mason jars. Assigned seating is just a necessary element of a dinner reception. And dinner receptions are not overdone. They are just a party with dinner.

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  27. ESB is right. Pretty much all the time, and especially here. If your friend doesn't want to do specifically assigned seats, at least assigned tables to help her friends out. With 200 people it is not as though she's going to have time to introduce everyone to the people she wants to meet one another.

    And I can tell you that, at least in the states, renting chairs and tables is NOT an expensive venture in the greater scheme of things. Some ideas to keep it cheap, romantic, and mingly: buy used (vases and linens are especially great for this pro tip. charity shops or thrift stores a go-go. no one will give a fuck if they match. it'll look intentional if they don't), get flowers on the cheap at grocery stores the day before hand, take out the stuff you don't like, throw them in a vase, bam. Don't do passed h'ordeuvres or cocktails, do stations or bars instead, it'll encourage mingling. Pick a few really yummy food items to serve en-mass instead of a bunch of different things. Hope these are handy.

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  28. brunch? it could be cheaper but hotter. still pretty!

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  29. Personally, I hate it when I don't have a seat where I can put my purse and coat and throw my shoes when I finally need to kick off my heels and dance barefoot. But you can still achieve an affordable, interactive, mingle-centric event with seating. 1) have assigned tables, just not actual seating. Less stress for you and guests, but still some freedom and a place for old/tred/shy people to take a minute. Respect your guests. 2) don't have plated meals. Make people get up for their food at a buffet and they'll have to mingle. Bonus: you save money on serving staff over cocktail or sit-down. You can even have multiple buffet stations to help with flow and mingling. Emphasize finger foods (cocktail-type) or foods that only need a fork (fewer rentals, casual feel). 3) have a bar setup and no table service. Again, people will need to get up and mingle. Also saves on staffing costs. 4) have a cocktail-type space where minglers can hang out with a drink by the bar. Scatter a few cocktail tables without seats.

    And well, there are a lot of other ways to save money too. But this is just one way to achieve it and get an affordable, casual, interactive vibe based on food service choices.

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  30. i 100% agree with a bicycle built for two here. and i also agree that if people are attending the wedding expecting a boozefest and hearty meal with massive lounge areas, then they are there for the wrong reasons. if the bride wants to splurge on a dress, then she should be prepared to make cuts elsewhere and not be worried about what the guests think. if that is more important, then reconsider the dress and the extras (ie. videographer) you don't have to spend a fortune for people to have good time! get creative and thrifty

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  31. Your friends who wear fabulous 4" stilettos will hate you for not providing enough seating...ESPECIALLY in that kind of heat. and if the reception (whatever kind it is) is outdoors you HAVE to provide shade. And yes. people will feel jipped if there is not enough food. It doesn't NECESSARILY have to be a sit down dinner, but there has to be a shit load of food, alcohol and music. Otherwise people will bitch and think the wedding sucks. It's the truth. No matter how pretty everything is.

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  32. Bike Built for 2: YES! thank you!

    BTW: unless it's black tie, I assume "assigning seats" means "assigning tables" - I've only been to one wedding w actual seats assigned and that was to help out with food service.

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  33. I agree with Melissa. I've been to weddings where there weren't assigned seats - or tables - and guests were left standing. When dinner is to be served, that is not okay.

    We did assigned tables and let our guests decide who was going to sit where. I didn't want to fuss with who was going to sit next to whom; assigning groups of 8-10 per table was enough thinking for me. And it didn't stop people from mingling or wandering in the slightest.

    If you end up going the cocktail route, I do think you need enough seats for everyone. It's nice to have somewhere to put your shoes/purse/suit jacket that isn't on the floor in a corner somewhere. And yes, definitely list on the invite that it's a cocktail reception.

    A venue that has indoor and outdoor space would be nice. 95F is hot, I don't care where you're from. (I'm from Texas; I know what hot feels like.)

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  34. gosh, I had 95 people at my wedding and we did stations (buffet is such an ugly word) and people chose their own seats and it was lovely and people easily figured out the seating. People moved around a bit from one course to the next, pulled up a chair as needed. We have a pretty tight little crew though so maybe it was easier because people all knew each other?

    We made this choice based on personal preference. It felt more casual but was absolutely not any cheaper.

    agreed with 2 bicycles on the "done to death" comment. say what?

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  35. People don't hate cocktail receptions if they precede dinner, of course!

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  36. I think seats are a have to... not in the strict demanding way... but thinking about the guests , the heat and that dancing can get them tired you should think of sitting them somewhere... cocktail idea is great... but seats are needed!

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  37. i endorse mingling. but 200 ppl in 95 degree weather is just insanity.

    pls make the favors mini deodorant sticks.

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  38. My wedding: 100+ people, long seats and tables, no place markers. LOADS of great food. No table service. Everyone had fun and it looked lovely.

    We also had a couple of small areas set up like little "lounges" with lamps, tables for drinks and comfy-ish seats, so those who were dancing could relax and chat.

    Having said all that I was the luckiest wedding planner alive - gorgeous country town hall with ALL the tables, chairs (vintage), PA, crockery, table cloths (everything!) for $30 and a caterer friend who did everything for around $1 a head. Now I'm just bragging.

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  39. We hired a food truck (trendy, i know) for our wedding but our venue had cocktail tables, plus a couple long bench seat type tables and it worked out perfectly. I personally was completely over the sit down dinner thing and we loved that people could sit/mingle where they wanted and also could "order" from a small menu a proper dinner.

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  40. Spend more money on decorations, scrimp on comfort for your guests? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

    1. I don't want to meet your stupid friends, I'm happy with my stupid friends.

    2. What makes you think I came to your wedding to stand around and nibble for five hours.

    For christ sake, give people a place to sit - like an entire lounge area if you aren't going to feed them. I promise you no one is going to give a shit about your extra flowers and streamers if you make them stand... the only thing anyone will remember is being uncomfortable and hungry.

    This screams of canning jar drinks with striped straws.
    -that bitch from Germany

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  41. I went to a brilliant cocktail reception in Perth, on a 35 degree day. There were plenty of tables and seats, but no one was directed to any of them and most people seemed to choose to stand up or dance most of the time. There was also a lovely courtyard with fairy lights and chairs. Food was all canapes, and was absolutley divine. I still dream of it, three years later.

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  42. Do a cocktail reception by all means. My sister had a cocktail reception for 250 people and it was lovely.

    But don't do it for 5 hours. Do it for two or three max. Provide light passed food, and at the end of the reception the bride can throw her bouquet and drive off with her new husband while all their guests wave them off. Everyone will then sigh, say, 'wasn't that lovely' and go off to get dinner, or continue the party at their own expense.

    Forcing people to stand for five hours will result in some really grumpy guests. If the bride wants to party with her guests for five hours, she needs to feed them properly and once you start thinking about feeding them properly, you need somewhere for everyone to sit. And then you may as well assign seating or tables.

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  43. If you're throwing a party, don't you ALWAYS think of your guests? Why not here? No one will give a good shit what the bride looks like if they're miserable. Five hours is too long for any kind of milling around ... and it will be milling around instead of mingling ... that is, if anyone is even left after 3 hours.

    And agree with Bicycle Built for Two and that smart bitch from Germany.

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  44. sounds like cocktail reception is a viable option, but from what people are saying - doesn't sound like it will necessarily save loads of money... best thing is to contact caterers for quotes or let them know how much $$ you have max and see what they can do with it (whether it's canapes, food stations, or seated meal).

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  45. If I flew from ENGLAND to AUSTRALIA and had to stand in my heels in 95 degree heat, with no where to sit and only appetizers to eat, I would probably want to kill someone. Just saying.

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  46. Couldn't agree more with Miss K!

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  47. I think this bride needs a big helping of these
    http://www.thesweetchemist.com/?p=102

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  48. It doesn't matter how the food is served or where I'm perched as far as I'm concerned, as long as it's served quickly (low blood sugar levels) and there is LOTS of it (huge appetite plus dancing).

    But chairs are probably a good idea too.
    Also, flip flops?

    I'm thinking pool party (Brits in the heat just want to be on the beach) with hog roast, then dancing, ice cream and sandwiches.

    Ok, I'm hungry.

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  49. Esb, kudos for the West Aussie post. And 95F is not hot here. Remind the overseas guests to arrive a few days early and aclimatise.
    But seriously, I hate sunburn. Inside venue or shade. The pasty Brits will be fried by the end of the day.
    I know the venue isn't cheap, but if bride wants pretty and no seating, go Kings Park picnic! Or the other side of the river, where space hire didn't cost the earth.
    Slightly different, but we did 200 guests for our engagement, cocktail style. It was shorter, obviously, but everyone ate enough, loved the food, and played bowls because we hired out one of the clubs in Dalkeith. Views that you can't beat, the very chilled club atmosphere that screams character, and a reason for your guests to take off their shoes.
    Either way, catering in Perth isn't cheap, and those 7 other weddings all booked their venue 12 months minimum.

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  50. (soz if I'm repeating - thread got a bit tl;dr). I'm pro seats, but VERY VERY ANTI assigned seating. I'm demi-introverted, but if I go to a party I expect to, you know, *talk* to people, and I detest being stuck at a table with people I didn't choose to sit with. I was recently at a wedding without a date (I was doing the photography for the ceremony and afterwards, but not the reception) and the couple put me on a table with people I'd *never* met before. The reception was full of people I hadn't seen in years, but I was stuck at that stupid table for hours and hours for the dinner.

    Have seating and food. Let people wander. As for the heat, as an Australian in Europe I am intensely jealous of the questioner for being able to enjoy an Australian summer. It is hot; have shade and plenty of cold water; but guests really can't complain. It's AUSTRALIA. Australia is HOT. There's really not much you can do about that.

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  51. I'm so surprised by the hate for the cocktail reception! But also chuffed that there's several other West Aussies reading ESB :)

    We had a kinda cocktail reception - platters doing the rounds in the arvo and then mains were a selection of box food which people grabbed when they wanted them - and everyone loved it. We had low walls with a few cushions scattered along them, and a bunch of couches, and then some folding chairs as well. We set up 2 proper tables and chairs for the oldies to sit at, everyone else just mingled and perched and relaxed and danced... that was about 65 people but I don't see why it wouldn't work for 200. Totally agree that it's Australia and everyone knows Australia in summer is hot so they will deal with it. BUT in saying that, should provide some umbrellas or shade of some sort, cos sweating in makeup does suck. And I do think food should be one of the major priorities at any wedding.

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  52. This really is just a great post for West Aussies to feel loved, isn't it? Out of the woodwork we come...

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  53. I just seriously can't believe y'all are so immature that you couldn't possibly take care of finding your own damn seat and mingling however you want. What the hell is the point of going to a wedding or any party if all you're going to do is sit in the corner with your own friends and be pissed that someone didn't take the time to tell you to sit somewhere with people you like?

    Weddings are awkward and uncomfortable and generally a big waste of money. You bring in people from all over, many of whom don't know each other, force them to sit where you've told them to, and watch you parade around. But this is supposed to be fun?

    Heaven forbid we try something else at a wedding, which is to let people pick where they want to sit, like they do at every damn party they go to.

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  54. Just now reading this post for the first time. ESB, you are dead on with being mindful of SHY PEOPLE. Introverts should not be punished for their tactful behavior.

    Also, that picture is awesome and reminds me to not act so fucking emo on my wedding day.

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