Dear ESB,
So I've read pages and pages of your blog looking for the answer to my situation and been hoping that the issue might pop up at some point, but yeahh, it hasn't, so here goes!
As a bridesmaid at a wedding in May I had been told way back last summer that if I happened to be dating anyone by the time the wedding rolled around that it would have to have been for 6 months or longer or dude wouldn't be invited. Of course last summer that was no problem. I also understood: budget, venue capacities etc. Fine.
Fast forward to three months before the wedding (and well past the statute of limitations on my dating life plus wedding invite) and I'm giddily and happily dating a wonderful man. Of course he can't come to the wedding and the reception, I'm still all good with that, but at the second shower for the bride I learn that all other bridesmaids have a) parents invited (mine aren't) b) significant others of some sort also invited. Now I'm getting a little perplexed as to why I'd not be allowed an extra invite, so when everyone has left the shower and it's just the MOH (friend of over 10 years) and myself cleaning up I decide to feel out the situation and see if the bride (also a friend of over 10 years) would be cool with bf coming for just the dancing/drinking/party part of the night, after all the old people have left. She thinks there probably wouldn't be an issue with it, but that I should really ask the bride.
Cut to the next day and awful email from MOH saying I'm being rude, presumptuous, disrespectful towards bride and her family's wishes that not all dates be invited and how dare I have the audacity to suggest bf should come for the party. She, after all, was a MOH for another bride when she had just started dating her guy then and would NEVER have dreamed of asking if he could come even though the bride did eventually extend an invite for him to come.
The subject was dropped. I never mentioned it again to the MOH and never asked the bride if bf could come since I suspected that the MOH's response was actually from the bride. Instead I waited until the day of the wedding while we were dropping our stuff off at the hotel to mention to the bride that bf was going to be picking me up from the reception that night and he'd probably have a dance with me before he helped me bring my stuff to the car. OH NO, this was not acceptable. Didn't I know that admittance to the wedding/reception venue was paid on a per person basis by her parents!? She'd have to check with mommy to see if it was okay for him to be there... not eating dinner (thereby not costing them anything), having a dance with me and helping me bring my stuff to the car. The bride knew for several months that I was a) not staying at the hotel and b) that my guy would be picking me up to drive me home.
An hour before the ceremony mommy dearest pulls me aside and informs me that my guy was not allowed to be there, and I was not the only guest who could not have their significant other at the party and that's just the way it was going to be and I had better pull myself together for the ceremony. I politely informed her that unlike the other guests who could not have their significant others at the party mine was my safe and sober ride home for the evening since I lived around the corner and wasn't staying at the hotel where the shuttle was taking everyone else, so he would be arriving at the venue at some point anyways to pick me up. Her response: "Well, I'm sure the venue will have locked the front doors by then anyways." Right lady. And all the smokers are NOT gonna come back in to your daughter's wedding?
10 pm rolls around, there are 30 out of 140 guests left at the party and I'm feeling even more annoyed about my guy not being allowed in. Then around midnight one of the groomsmen comes in from smoking and says that there's a guy in the parking lot asking for me because why? Oh yes, bride's father is stationed at the door and won't let him step foot in the building.
Since the wedding I've seen the bride once, next morning brunch at the hotel. I've also received two group emails from the bride: one informing all acquaintances of their newly purchased home, the second to all the bridesmaids saying how great it is that she's seen most of them since the wedding and how nothing has changed since she's gotten married and how excited she is to go on her honeymoon the next day. I respond excitedly to both emails, congratulate her, say I'm looking forward to seeing some pictures from her trip etc.
The clincher for me: I work in the wedding industry. It's a lot of fun. Very soon I'm working at the EXACT same venue my friend was married at. An email from the couple for this wedding informed me that not only were they considering me a guest and giving me a spot at a table and inviting me to stay and party with them, but they were also extending the invite for my guy to be part of the day right from the ceremony, through to the reception: dinner, drinks and dancing. They've never met my guy and I would never dream of asking a client if my bf could also come along.
I thanked this couple profusely and told them how very awesome they are. It's not something I would've expected or even anticipated since they're paying me to be there, and THAT'S where the problem lies for me: my good friend (and her family) of over a decade causes a stink about my guy even stepping into the venue at a party I had to pay for the privilege to be part of where he wasn't going to consume a single thing they would've paid for, and here's a couple I've known for only a few months who are paying me to be part of their day wanting to include my guy.
I had already felt like I needed to have a serious talk with my friend when she got back from her honeymoon, but now part of me is saying "Just F&#* it and leave it alone," while the other part feels like I REALLY want to tell her to F&@* off. What do I do!? Move on from the friendship since I'm not feeling the love? Call her up and have it out? Part of me feels like it's not worth it, but the other part doesn't want to toss out the friendship.
*****
Don't toss the friendship. I have a feeling this woman just TEMPORARILY LOST HER BRIDEZILLA MIND. With a lot of help from her parents.
Why not tell her the story about your rad clients and confide that the whole sitch with her wedding/your boyfriend really hurt your feelings? (Or you could simply show her this post.)
NOTE TO BRIDES/BRIDEZILLAS/GROOMS/PARENTS: Don't forget you want your guests + the bridal party to have fucking fun at the wedding. It's not *all* about you.
Photo: Benjamin Dukhan by Thomas Lohr for Under The Influence via Fucking Young!
I second that. Homegirl lost her marbles for a bit. Just let her know that she hurt your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the bride used to date the guy, or someone in the wedding party did, or dated the current of someone else in attendance, etc, something like that. IDK, it seems like there's an actual reason why they didn't want the guy there and made absolutely sure he wouldn't be let in. But that really doesn't explain the non-invite for your parents, Miss Bridesmaid.
ReplyDeleteEither that, or other people were giving the bride crap over inviting family and SO's and thought that you'd be the only one who is cool enough not to make a big fuss about it, and just let it be. When you voiced even just minimal and polite concern it could have sent her over the edge and you just got the brunt of the force.
I wouldn't get too worked up about it, though. Lets say if you make a big deal, lose the friendship and for whatever reason break up with the guy, in hindsight it might end up looking like a really small/silly thing to have gotten angry about. :S
I think it'll be a while before you can bring it up without the bride getting defensive. And definitely don't compare your friend to this couple + their parents you're working for (who admittedly sound pretty awesome). If her parents paid for the wedding, she probably had a very strict budget and throwing another person into the headcount probably gave her funds-administrators a heart attack.
ReplyDeleteIt'll blow over - contune being friends. Go on double dates and eventually she'll feel bad when you and your guy have been together for years and he'll casually mention that he was specifically NOT invited to her wedding (my BFF brought her boyfriend to my wedding last year and I feel bad I don't have ANY pictures of him because he's a huge part of our crew these days)
Yes, the bride and her family took it to an insane level, but I don't think the writer here is totally in the right.
ReplyDeleteIt was clear an invitation could not be extended to the new BF; it should have been left at that. This isn't a birthday party with people arriving at all different times; it is a wedding. It just seems tacky to insist on having someone who was not invited, for whatever reason, come in. I know I would feel extremely awkward if someone I did not invite to my wedding stopped by- "Oh hi, yeah sorry I couldn't invite you..."
So actually I think the writer made the situation uncomfortable herself. No one is owed a guest at a wedding. You can be pissed about it, you can decide not to go, you can talk shit on it, but when you decide to FORCE your guest on the party then you are in the wrong too.
I understand where you're coming from and agree Bridezilla mind took over. But I agree bringing a guy you've been seeing for 3 months is a little much. If you're in the wedding industry you know how much it costs per person. A fricking S*it load. The not letting him in for a dance is weird....
ReplyDeleteI very much disagree with ESB. The bridesmaid is taking all this too damn personal. First, forget the clients! They obviously have a different budget and preferences around their guest list than her friend.
ReplyDeleteThe dating rule was arbitrary, but that's the way you control guest lists from ballooning out of your budget and preferences. There need to be boundaries set down because there will be situations like this one that pop up, and you need to have a party line which sometimes make people unhappy.
I was with the bridesmaid on feeling out the situation at the shower, and I think the bride sending a passive aggressive email via the MOH (if that was her) was wrong. She should've allowed the bridesmaid to bring it up and calmly repeated the rule.
However, trying to get the BF in the day before the wedding was an asshole move, straight up. The bride did not need the bridesmaid trying to pull a diva stunt the day before everything was going down for her. Why exactly did he need to come in for a dance? The parents escalated with their own crazy, but the bridesmaid was wrong and continues to be "me, me, me" about this situation.
The bride is right to be miffed at the bridesmaid about the big deal she made about her BF. She clearly knew the other people at the wedding (decade old friendship), so she wasn't alone at the wedding. She could've opted to try to have a fun evening with her friends. Instead, she obsessed over being away from her BF for a few hours and trying to get him to crash the wedding.
She should call the bride and apologize to her about the crazy then she should offer to take the bride and her husband to dinner with the BF so that they can properly meet the BF.
I read this through and was sure ESB would refer this one to MMOHIAC.
ReplyDeleteThe bride told her the rules for who could be invited to the wedding before hand. Bridesmaid knew the 6 month rule and had previously accepted it. It seems like the only reason she got mad was that other bridesmaid's SOs and parents were invited. Were the SOs past the 6 month rule? Were her parents even close to the bride? It seems like a lot of finger pointing of other invites just so this girl could feel like her brand new boyfriend deserved to be there too. And then she couldn't just let it go- she had to try to sneak her boyfriend in at the end of the night for a dance? Really? It sounds like this girl was creating some unnecessary difficulty for the bride.
Also, the guest list of her clients doesn't really matter. Everyone has different budgets and size limitations. This girl knew way in advance what the rules were, and someone else's wedding doesn't change the wedding at issue. I'll bet that the wedding planner was not on the guest list and definitely without a plus one.
yet another woman who is treating her wedding like the FIRST ONE THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD ! ugh, makes me want to puke. that said, i think the writer was actually in the wrong here, though we are talking about a snitty, stupid, shitty technicality.
ReplyDeleteas another person mentioned, the bride was clear about her guest policy when she asked the writer to be a bridesmaid. it seems inappropriate that she asked if her date could come in for a dance at the end of the night, knowing that he wasn't invited. she practically forced the hosts to play the asshole role and draw the hard line about extra guests.
if i was in her shoes, i would have simply asked my fella to show up at a 11:30 or midnight (or WHENEVER things would be WRAPPED UP), had a quick drunken smooch with him, and then LEFT. why did she have to make such a stink about it with the bride and her parents BEFOREHAND ? it seems like that's what set them off.
A sentry at the gate? Eff that crazy B.
ReplyDeleteOr confront her head on. Seems like a lot of talking around and through other people from the get-go. You've been friends for 10 years, treat each other like it.
Yeah, the day of casually mentioning your boyfriend is going to come in and dance with you when he wasn't invited is a pretty bitchy move imho.
ReplyDeleteThe bride said she couldn't bring the BF - several times. Why did you continue to push??? You should have left it at that - you shouldn't assume that just because you have fallen head over heels that everyone else has to be on board. Really three months isn't that long, and he obviously doesn't really know the rest of the group.
ReplyDeleteShe gave you the rules ahead of time - you agreed. YOU AGREED. Period. Bridezilla or not, you didn't voice a problem with it. Get over it.
i don't know. sure the bride made her limitations clear. but who would've effing known or cared if he had come in for the end of the party?
ReplyDeletei hate that people expect this girl to walk on eggshells around the bride. "hey, is it ok if he comes?" could've been easily answered with a "nah, sorry." and dropped.
I actually agree more with Anon July 8, 2011 10:36 AM now that I think about it... Only not as aggressive sounding, meep :x
ReplyDeleteThe bride's family seems a bit extreme. So, her dad was standing at the door as a sentry guard while his daughter was having a wedding and partying her ass off? Sounds like a fun job.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, what ever happened to the dude just pulling up at the door and calling your cell?
Huh?! What is this big obsession to have the bf at the wedding?? What was she trying to prove? They told her no months before. Why push the issue and give the bride grief ON HER WEDDING DAY? So he can't come. Yes, it sucks but it's just one night. Can't this couple survive being apart for a few hours? And the whole "he's picking me up so he has to come in" business is BS. Its just another way to try to weasel him in (which is lame on so many levels). Why not just tell him to call when he's out front? And if she had so much stuff (though how much could you possibly have with you at a wedding?) I'm sure one of the guests would have helped her carry it to the car. And then the bf tries to crash the wedding anyway?? Wow.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think it was WAY out of line for the bridesmaid to keep insisting that her bf come. It was the bride's day, not hers. Whatever the people who are writing the check wants, goes. And the fact that she doesn't see how she is in any way in the wrong is just blowing my mind.
Here's the thing. Under normal etiquette rules, the bride and her parents would have been pretty rude in their treatment of her boyfriend. However, under wedding rules, there tends to be a bit more leniency towards brides to set hard and fast rules and stick by them. We don't know what kind of financial pressure the family was under, and that might well have been a source of tension between the bride and her parents (thus causing her to be much more anxious about her guest count and keeping any unexpected guests out).
ReplyDeleteI also think it was a bit presumptuous of the bridesmaid to say, "My boyfriend will come in for a dance with me before we leave." If it had been my wedding, I would have been a bit annoyed at the presumption, but I would have dropped it. The wedding day really is the time to stop fighting everything and just accept that some things will not go as planned (or requested). I also think the father standing guard was exceptionally rude.
All that said, the bride went out of her way to make sure the bridesmaid didn't have a date with her, and then her parents backed her up to the point of excluding the boyfriend completely. Is it possible there's some history here that the bridesmaid doesn't see? Perhaps the bride never likes her boyfriends. Perhaps the bridesmaid sometimes brings along new people to events when the bride would prefer to have just her. It seems like there were a lot of safeguards put in place for just her. Perhaps it's a sign of something bigger buried between the bride and her friend that needs discussion. Just a thought though - impossible to know.
Didn't you get warned, like, a bajillion times that he wasn't going to be able to be there? Maybe someone at the venue told them they could'nt exceed their guest list or something and they are nervous follow-the-rulesy kind of people. I had people show up unnanounced at my wedding and it was cool. But had they asked me if they could bring someone, and I said no, that didn't work for us, and then they tried to sneak him in on ANY POSSIBLE EXCUSE? I might've done something foolish like post a sentry too. Especially if they were making this fuss about a three-months boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteJust put on some dance music at home and share a dance. It's just as fun, especially when most of the party has gone home already.
I want to be friends with exactly none of these people. The bride and her family being so controlling over setting the guest rules, the bridesmaid for being so insistent and sneaky about getting her guy in.
ReplyDeleteEveryone: IT'S JUST A DAY. It won't kill you to let the boyfriend in for some dancing and cake. It also won't kill you to spend an evening and a social occasion away from your boyfriend. EVERYBODY CHILL.
God. These f'king brides. The dude wasn't eating or drinking or doing anything that would have cost them an extra $2.50 if he **gasp** arrived at 11:30pm. I've heard enough "MY SPECIAL DAY" idiocy to last a lifetime. And the - you can only have a guest if you've dated six months - rule is nasty-pants, if you ask me. What's the effing difference?
ReplyDeleteBoo on the Bride.
You should have dropped it right after that first email. Pu-leeze, it's not all about the bride, but it's for sure not all about YOU either. You're a bridesmaid. Suck it up. Pushing the issue and trying to sneak him in (?!?) was rude, and you got a rude reaction. That's how it works.
ReplyDeleteI feel like everyone in this story -- bridesmaid/letter writer, bride, MOH, parents, boyfriend, other people getting married at same venue, smoking groomsmen -- are giant pains in the ass.
ReplyDeleteAmen SpaceElephant and Sarah!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like there was a fair amount of wrongdoing on both behalves. Hash it out over a cocktail, but not too many, and move on.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only person who would never ever consider NOT budgeting for a guest for each single guest (and especially the bridal party?) Yes, yes, I know, budgets etc, but I'd rather feel like everyone is having a good time than feeling like my guests might be lonely.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm in the minority, thinking the bride overreacted, esp with the bride's dad standing guard over the door. Um, the dad didn't have anything better to do when celebrating his daughter's nuptials than freaking stand guard at the door? Sounds trippy to me. BUT -- and not to be doubting the writer, but I totally think something else was going on, either bride/groom/family/bridal party had something against the date. Or maybe I stay away from crazies like that. OR am completely not understanding of bridezillas. Entirely possible.
ReplyDeleteBut I do like the idea of not comparing client to bride -- your clients do have their own budget, and there are clearly some generous people out there. And ditto bride probably getting defensive still now if you tried to bring it up. And you don't want to go the passive-aggressive route -- that's just a big Boo. If she's a good friend, truly, then okay, let it all go -- but if she's ultimately one of those moocher friends ("I have a new house! give me a gift!"), or always makes it about her and doesn't ever celebrate with you, I still vote dump.
Holy shit people... way to be bitchy to the letter writer. First of all, etiquette wise, it's my understanding that all wedding party members should get a plus one, regardless of whether or not they're dating anyone. Reason being, they are paying up the ass to be in your wedding, least you can do is let them bring a friend/date/etc. along. The bride is CRAZYASS for not letting the guy in...what is the big fucking deal with him coming in and saying hi, meeting the bridesmaid's friends, etc. At my wedding, my philosophy was- I want my goddamn money's worth, bring people in to party after dinner. I had a lot of crashers, they danced and drank and made me smile. It was AWESOME. This bride had a stick up her ass.
ReplyDeleteAgreed that the parents went a bit batshit, but the bride set the rules. Why couldn't they just be accepted? It's not up to the writer to determine when it would be acceptable for the guy to come in. The bride said 'no,' that should have been the end of it. If it were me, I wouldn't care if the dude came in at the end of the party, but this woman did and it was her effing wedding. I think showing some respect for the bride's wishes the day of her wedding is the way it's supposed to go.
ReplyDeleteI still think it's weird that regardless of how YOU personally feel about the rules - the writer AGREED. And then decided she didn't like them.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think it's bat shit crazy to tell your BM that she can't bring a date. However, I wouldn't agree to it. But when you give someone your word you honor it - or you don't agree to it. She was "entitled" to bring a date??? The bride laid it down, the MOH reinforced it. The writer was rude enough to insist that he would be coming in later in the night after she was told no. To me it is sooo simple: honor your word and don't give your word if you don't mean it.
BUT then again we live in a world where you can say whatever you want regardless of truth or consequence. So whatever - Bride/Bride's Family = crazy, Writer = entitled and rude. Stay friends, you are meant for each other.
Late to the party (too soon?) but here's my 2 cents:
ReplyDelete- as a member of the wedding party, I do feel like you should have gotten a plus-one. Bring a friend, bring your brother, bring someone who can help you out with your job and make sure you eat and have a glass of wine in your hand for the toast. Bring a guy you've been dating for all of three months, who gives a shit?
- the sentry thing is crazy.
- How does your bf feel about the snub? Because if y'all get serious and it turns into a rift between a girl who enough of a pal to ask you to be in the wedding party, and a serious dude part of your life, then I would say maybe get together and hash it out. But you might have to send a little card for now saying, "You know, I'm sorry I overstepped the rules you set out (even if you're not, because the rules seemed dumb and arbitrary) and I hope you and your family had a wicked awesome time (even though it seemed like the daddy's focus was keeping out your hound-of-hell boyfriend instead of, I dunno, his daughter's big day)."
I think it's really tacky that the limits were set on your plus one, but in no uncertain terms do I think you should bring it up to the bride now. In fact, the best way to get your point across will be how you treat your guests and bridesmaids at your own wedding.
ReplyDeleteBut do consider how you'd feel if random people were coming into your wedding at the end of the night... It's just a weird vibe. It'd probably have been different if you were all going out after (probably sans bride) someplace other than the venue... But I don't know if I would love that. And when you're paying basically a down payment on a house for a night of partying, I do think you get a lil bit more of a say in how the party goes. Some ppl take it too far, like your friend, but be compassionate.
Totally agree with the commenters who say you should now try to get your bf to know your friend and her new husband -- and put it in the past.
I didn't read every single comment because, whoa, there are a lot of them. But here is my two cents:
ReplyDeleteNo one is perfect. In all our relationships, we have to take the good in someone and leave the bad. BUT, this isn't elementary school anymore where we're pretty much stuck with whoever is in our class. We get to choose our friends!! Woohoo! I have personally chosen to shed a friend or two in my adult-years (people who were just dragging me down continuously).
That being said, it sounds like this behavior is not typical of your friend, and some grace would be prudent. I believe you were the victim of family-wide-bridezilla-itis, and you should forgive them and move on. Afterall, chances are that at some point in your life YOU will act like an asshole and will be in need of some grace from your friends, too.
Best case, your friend comes down from the wedding-high and realizes that she owes you (and your bf!) a drink and an apology. Worst case, you strengthen your character by just sucking it up and forgiving without an apology because you understand what wedding-stress can do to an otherwise nice person.
BUT, if this person continues to cause you grief without very much up-side....it's OK to move on. Don't waist time on soul-sucking "friends".
Definitely siding with the writer/bridesmaid on this one. The boyfriend would not have actually been a guest - just a ONE dance partner. Jeez. It's not like he was crashing the dinner or bar. Bridezilla and family-zilla-itis for sure. It's all done now, but I think I wouldn't have even asked crazy bride or MOH-interlocutor if it was okay if he picked me up and danced to one or - gasp! - two songs. I would have just had him meet me in pkg lot and if we were stopped on way in (venue ppl would likely not realize he is new person ANYWAY since I'd be wearing bridesmaid dress and they would assume bride would have invited my plus 1) I would say he just wants to say congrats then take me home.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say anything now, but wow what a shitty first impression bride made on your bf. If she ever thinks he is being weird towards her, id bring it up then. "remember when your dad barred him from entering the venue to pick me up? Yeah, that *might* have had something to do with it."
The bridesmaid was being a brat. The bride was inconsiderate to not allow a member of her wedding party a plus one.
ReplyDeleteBridesmaid, I think you need to give it a little time before you bring this thing up with your friend. Give it about 2-3 months. Don't compare your friend's behaviour to anyone else's. Also ask what it hurting you the most? Is it more that your dude couldn't go, or the way it was handled?
ReplyDeleteI've been there with friends and boyfriends. I have had nice perfectly sane friends do some rude things to the men I have dated. Sometimes you have to let it go. Sometimes if you bring it up later, and nicely, your friend says, "Oh my god yes! I am so sorry. Everything about that was messed up, I'm sorry for my part in it." So give it 2 months. If you and the feller are still together then, say, "hey what was the deal with boyo not being allowed to dance? It was weird. Mostly the MOH thing, but are we okay?"
Sometimes you also have to admit that you maybe put them in the spot, by forcing their hand. I suspect that if it had been timed differently maybe things would be different. Also all your info came secondhand, from the MOH or the mom. Things get lost in translation. Maybe they misrepresented you. Maybe there's some wierd stuff there, that you and Bride need to chat about.
So give it some time to cool down, accept that maybe you should have talked directly to the host, instead of through intermediaries, as should she, and then chat about it, when you aren't feeling all steamed up.
What I'm wondering is if the writer had ever introduced her new BF to the bride? A big thing for me is not having people I have never met or barely know at my wedding. I've been invited to a wedding where it blew my mind my BF couldn't come (the couple knew him quite well) but did I confront the bride about it on her wedding day? Of course not.
ReplyDeleteI think that the BM/letter writer wanting the BF to be there maybe was because she felt like she was running out of allies in this whole wedding thing?
ReplyDeleteI personally am planning a wedding, and have a somewhat large guest list (I would rather have totally decent, if not extravagant, stuff at the wedding and invite a lot of people, rather than spend loads on hosting 20 people and telling all of my other friends I didn't want them there). I also have a large bridal party, and only two bridesmaids coming unattached (everyone else is either married or engaged because we're old).
much of this situation could have been handled better on both ends, but I just can't get past the idea that the bride wouldn't have given everyone in the BP a +1? I started dating my fiance three months before my friend's wedding, in which I was a BM, and my friend only met him at the wedding. But that was enough to make her love him, and give her emphatic & enthusiastic blessing five months later when we got engaged.
I'm the letter writer/bridesmaid and my lovely bf had met the bride her parents and the groom a few times before the wedding day, in fact the last time was two weeks before at the bride's surprise 30th birthday party where everyone got along well. The groom and my bf are both from the same area of the Maritimes and at the surprise party both pulled out guitars and fiddles and played songs for everyone. Also, my bf has never really dated, so there's no one in the bride's family, or group of friends who would've dated him...although that would've made the whole situation understandable.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I insisted that my bf HAD to be there and when I inquired it was exactly that "hey, he's going to be in the parking lot at midnight anyways, is it alright for him to come in for a bit?" The groom and my bf had really gotten along well, there were east coast fiddlers flown in specifically for the wedding reception and I thought my friend would be all up for having my bf there too to soak in things from back home.
The reason I went to the MOH and not the bride about the bf coming to just the reception months before the wedding was that the bride and I had already had a run in about the engagement pics and guestbook I had done for the couple for free (bride insisted I couldn't use the pics because they weren't my clients anyways).
I do feel really weird now about future stuff with this friend. BF and I are talking about our own wedded bliss, building a home etc and it feels like this couple won't really be part of things.
Sorry...toss your friend, the MOH...and her crazy ass bitch mother! You werent asking for anything more then your boyfriend to come in and pick you up! You seem like a very sane rational girl...these people arent!
ReplyDelete