Miranda July's The Future

Last Thursday, H and I went to a preview screening of Miranda July's new movie.

We giggled our pants off.

And then we learned in the Q&A afterward that it was supposed to be very sad.

Most of the people there found it sad.

Is there something wrong with us?

Please go see The Future and report back.

p.s. I wore my white jeans and my granny sandals, sure that Miranda would wear granny sandals too and we would meet on a higher plane of granny-sandal-dom and be best friends for ever and ever. She wore platform clogs.

Can I email my thank-you notes?

Hey ESB,

My invites are going out electronically and people are RSVP-ing on our wedding website.  

Can I do email thank you notes or should I do paper and snail mail? The email thank yous would include a message that is personal to the recipient along with a couple photos.

Thanks!!

*****

Are people EMAILING YOU YOUR PRESENTS, or are they perhaps utilizing snail mail/ups?

Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal via Clara Spencer-Phillips

What should Pasty Minnesotans do in LA? (WEST SIDE EDITION: Part 2)

When I first posted What should Pasty Minnesotans do in LA? Paige Appel (aka The Ambassador of Fun) busted me for being east-side-centric.

Hello.

I still wouldn't want to live on the west side. But this series does make me want to cross La Brea a little more often.

Here's Paige on Westwood/West LA + Brentwood:

In my opinion, the west side doesn't go east of the 405, but I have to cover the neighborhoods slighted in the previous posts. I'm breaking it down by location and categories for easy reference in case those Minnesotans can only hit up a few neighborhoods. All of these recs have been tried and loved by me and mine. 

Westwood/West L.A.

Eat.

Apple Pan for the longest running mom and pop burger house in the city. 

Westside Tavern for chicken liver mousse and a great Sazerac.

Native Foods for vegan twinkies and flavorful brown rice bowls.

Junior's Deli for potato latkes and matzo ball soup.

Stan's Donuts for the peanut butter and chocolate filled monster donut.

In N Out near UCLA for the design and burger.

Sunnin for Lebanese amazingness.

Shabu Shabu, Ramen, and Sushi on Sawtelle. 

Diddy Riese for the UCLA student gawking and overrated cookies. 

(Stan's Donuts)

Shop. 

Wally's for wine, handcrafted liquors, and gourmet cheeses.

Children's Book World for a vast curated selection of kids books.

HAMMER Museum book store for art books. 

Buy rare movies at Cinefile.

Buy rare used books at Alias Books

See + buy the most beautiful bonsai trees at the nurseries on Sawtelle

Do.

HAMMER Museum for the best contemporary art shows in the city. See Paul Thek now.

See local live theatre at The Geffen Playhouse.

Movies at The Fox and The Bruin, the dying breed of the huge single screen theatre.

See the Farmer's Classic tennis tournament live at UCLA every July. (ya know, if you like tennis)

See the best midnight movies (aka THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH) at Landmark's Nuart

Fall asleep on a leather couch eating chocolate with sea salt at Landmark's Westside Pavillion

Paul Thek Untitled (Meat Piece with Flies) at The Hammer

Brentwood

Eat.

Tavern for butter crumbed eggs and brisket hash.

Sugarfish for no frills, high quality sushi.

FARMSHOP for a considered, but light lunch in the mart.

Reddi Chick for cheap and good fried chicken and BBQ sauce.

Sweet Rose Creamery for small batch, homemade ice cream. Get the Basil, Salted Caramel or Black Sesame Soy.

Pressed Juicery for fresh concoctions straight from the cold press. Fave is pear ginger pineapple mint.

Osteria Latini for spaghetti bolognese straight from Northern Italy.

SusieCakes for sour cream cheesecake and whoopie pies.

Luxxe Cafe has the best beans and best espresso drinks in the city. (yes, I'm claiming that) Mr. Appel has had the acclaimed versions at Intelligentsia, LAMILL, and the likes and demands Luxxe is as close to Italian coffee as he has ever had in the states.

Shop.

Compartes for geometric and tasty chocolates.

Selima et Benjamin for sunglasses. 

Poppy for well-made, unique, european kids clothes.

Turpan for curated eclectica.

Union Made for Steven Alan-esque menswear. 

Post26 for new and vintage fashions.

James Perse for linen Repetto flats and what else? James Perse.

Diesel bookstore. A disappearing breed of books.

Broken English for interesting jewelry.

Trading Post for a post office straight out of Mayberry complete with unique sundries.

(Broken English)

Do.

Drive up Kenter Canyon to Crestwood Hills Park and on the way marvel at the cluster of Case Study post and beams.

Obviously, go to the Getty. 

Hike Mandeville Canyon.

Have a drink at the top of the Hotel Angeleno for a breathtaking view. 

Walk, shop, eat. See above.

Ride bikes down San Vincente to Ocean Blvd. 

Be sure to catch Part 1 (West Hollywood + Beverly Hills) and Part 3 (Santa Monica + Venice)

Top Photo by Inez Van Lamsweerde & Vinoodh Matadin for Vogue Paris August 2011

pie AND ice cream

well we had had key lime pie, red velvet whoopie pies AND ice cream. I was too blissed out the day of to notice the ridiculous tank top the ice cream boy had on that day. Interesting wardrobe choice.

Also I am the girl who bought the Emerson Made white tux jacket to wear over my dress. It ended up being so nice out it was not at all necessary. Did I suspect this would be the case (June in Brooklyn) and just wanted a good excuse to buy it? Possibly.

-sofia

(Photos by Oh, Darling!)

speaking of ANIMAL.....

How did I miss these photos from Vinny Dotolo of Animal Restaurant's wedding (catered by Prune)?

PIGS IN A BLANKET!

Also: We have confirmation that pie is officially the new cupcake. Which means it's time to move on to the next thing, obvio.

May I humbly suggest ice cream?

Photos by Charlotte Jenks Lewis via 100 Layer Cake via Grub Street Los Angeles

What should Pasty Minnesotans do in LA? (WEST SIDE EDITION: Part 1)

I thought Paige Appel was rad before she made me this offer....

I may be stepping over the (east side) line here, but when I read What should Pasty Minnesotans do in LA?, I noticed an absence of cooler side locations. (cooler meaning ocean breeze, don't get all up in arms) so I have taken it upon myself to educate all you east siders on the jaunts west of la brea.

But HOLY SHITBALLS do I think she's rad now.

I also think Paige's talents may be underutilized. I mean, sure, Bash, Please and The Cream are all that and more. But shouldn't we be lighting a fire under her ass to do a little more blogging?

Note: I was all ready to post THE WHOLE SHEBANG when blogger broke down in tears, so I've decided to break it into three parts. (I'll thank myself later when I'm driving around the west side scrolling through my own blog on my phone.)

Also, I fear we're too late to be helpful to the actual Pasty Minnesotans at this point, so "Pasty Minnesotan" will stand in for Everyman.

Without further ado, here's Paige on West Hollywood + Beverly Hills:

In my opinion, the west side doesn't go east of the 405, but I have to cover the neighborhoods slighted in the previous posts. I'm breaking it down by location and categories for easy reference in case those Minnesotans can only hit up a few neighborhoods. All of these recs have been tried and loved by me and mine. 

West Hollywood (La Brea to Doheny)

Eat. 

Repeat: Animal. Oxtail Poutine and done. BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN. 

Comme Ca. Handcrafted cocktails (get the Ramos Gin Fizz at brunch), French bistro fare executed properly, and talk to the affineur (aka the cheese guy).

Tower Bar. Get a cozy booth with a view and order the burger. You will probably see some old Hollywood people having 3 hour dinners kissing each other's ass.

Tinga Buena. Short rib tacos and Arroz con crema. Agua fresca. Dirty Horchata. 

Dan Tana's. Old school italian, great steak, likely to see a few washed up Playboy bunnies. 

Angelini Osteria. Best Italian in the city. Sorry Mozza. 

O! Burger. Fast food made organically and deliciously. Best crinkle fries and veggie burger I've ever had with no hormones and yucky stuff. 

The Bazaar at SLS for cotton candy foie gras comedy that tastes really fucking good. (ex employees from El Bulli)

Roger Room for drinks.

(The Bazaar's Cotton Candy Fois Gras via Wine Stained Cloth)

Others to mention (all exceptional) Lucques, BLD, Terroni, Eva, El Carmen, Eveleigh, Loteria at the Farmer's Market, Golden State. Joan's on 3rd for ham and butter on baguette with cheese and sweets to go. Hugo's for "california" food, meaning vegetarian, vegan and flax seed friendly folk.

TIP: don't let the endless lines at TOAST fool you. OVERRATED, UNDERWHELMING.

Shop.
OK. Quirky, beautiful, vintage and modern design. [Editor's Note: We did our wedding registry here -- can't recommend them highly enough.]

Douglas Fir for men's clothes and shoes. Classic masculine. Also, stop into Esquivel behind Douglas Fir if you have a hankering to drop a mint on a fine pair of handmade shoes.

Noodle Stories. Minimalist high fashion for the ladies.

Opening Ceremony (do I need to say anything?)

Le Labo for the nicest (and hippest) smelling perfume on the planet.

Roseark for the diamond encrusted arrowhead necklace that everyone needs. Or a pair of moccasins.

Plastica for Danish design and cute baby onesies.

Table Art for just that. 

Heath Ceramics for classic earthen and home goods.

Ahead Stereo for the audiophile. 

Du Vin for winos.

Book Soup for bibliophiles.

American Rag for vintage and good shoes.

(Esquivel Shoes)

Do.
Repeat - LACMA

Art galleries - Regen Projects, ACME, Marc Foxx. (and then head south on La Cienega to Culver City to hit up Blum & Poe, Susanne Vielmetter, Cherry & Martin, David Kordansky, Honor Fraser among others on the row)

People watch at Chateau Marmont lobby. 

Visit the MAK center to tour the Schindler House.

Get beaten by eucalyptus branches (platza) at under the radar Russian spa Voda.

See an indie move that is never going to come to Minnesota at Laemmle Theatre.

See an old, new, or camp (awesome) movie at revival house New Beverly Cinema.

See an avant garde, or sometimes ironic film at The Cinefamily at the Silent Movie Theatre.

Beverly Hills 
(You may cringe when hearing the 90210 moniker, but there are a few redeeming spots worth a see.)

Eat.

The Fountain Coffee Room for a basement breakfast in the notorious Beverly Hills Hotel.

Bouchon by the one and only Thomas Keller. 

Matsuhisa for Nobu's original sushi restaurant.

Red Medicine for awesome Vietnamese.

Papa Jake's for cheap and good hoagies.

Graffeo for coffee.

Mulberry Street for new york style pizza.

Shop.
Unless you love high-end chains via Rodeo (which I admittedly get sucked into Prada, Margiela and Miu Miu), don't bother.

(Coldwater Canyon Park via Travelin' Local)

Do.
People watch with cocktails on the patio at the Beverly Wilshire.
Picnic in Coldwater Canyon park next to the wading stream under the big oak trees. 

Drive up Coldwater Canyon to Mulholland and hike Franklin Canyon or visit TreePeople. 

Visit the Museum of Television and Radio. 

Museum of Tolerance for a real upper. weeeeeee.

Stay tuned for Parts 2 + 3.

Top Photo by Inez Van Lamsweerde & Vinoodh Matadin for Vogue Paris August 2011 via I KNOW WHAT YOU WORE LAST SEASON

one more, i can't help it.

Tiny stud ring? Gaaaahhhhhh.

Okay, two more if you count the Men's Russian Chain Ring I must now call your attention to. H-O-T.

Note: Don't ever be fooled and think when you've scoured "Wedding" you've seen all the worthwhile rings. Always look at ALL THE RINGS.

Q: How gorg is this Russian Wedding Chain?

A: SO GORG.

And the Dandelion Ring?

(Named for Keith Richards's daughter. 14k yellow gold band with 14k white gold rocks.)

I die. Macha is killin me dead.

via The Shiny Squirrel

SMOKING IS NOT SEXY (Part Two)

Are you fucking kidding me, Claire Pettibone?

Eeew x infinity.

via kiss the groom via Peonies & Polaroids

Fine. Fuck the veil.

Dear ESB,

Fine. Okay. I sent a super long "I have the dress now please make all of my other decisions for me" type email (with a million attachments), which, in hindsight, may have been ill-advised.

I do actually have my own opinions... I think I'm just kind of sick of all of the choices to be made and frankly just want to get back to my career and get on with our marriage.... and I just want someone else to figure it all out for me. I imagine you get a lot of that.

I can deal with the flats. This is not rocket science.

I can deal with the veil. I should have known you couldn't care less. Except for wearing my mom's lace, I couldn't care less either.

I think I can even deal with the jewelry situation. Etsy. Done.

All I want to know, is what to wear over my shoulders that is not fur, but is kind of 1940's glam meets rock and roll. Or not. Just awesome. Can I ask for that?

I just want awesome. Awesome under $200.

My dress is a very simple Nicole Miller. I want to take it up a notch for the reception.

That is all.

*****

Call me crazy, but I think this florette bomber (ON SALE for $99 at the Quail Shop) would be pretty awesome with your dress.

I'm feeling the grey with your antique white satin, but the photo of the red jacket is so good I had to post it, too.

Top image: Tilda Swinton photographed by Tim Walker + styled by Jacob Kjeldgaard for W Magazine via I'm Revolting via Maia McDonald via Sugar & Fluff

Got more TIME TO KILL?

There's a new Dear ESB up on 100 Layer Cake.

I happen to think I found the PERFECT reception/party dress for the petite bride who wrote in, but she might could use a few more suggestions.

Novia Tricotona by Gloria Vilches

Bride Comes Down With Shopping Fatigue

Hey lady,

I'm in need of you and your team of experts to help me out.

I'm wearing this to my rehearsal dinner.

The shoes I thought I'd wear with it, I realized when I tried them on with it last night, are in a state that's not acceptable for a wedding related event. They're kinda trashed - I need new ones.

I've started scouring the internet for yet another thing I need to buy for the wedding, and would you believe it, I think I have shopping fatigue. Plus, I have a gajillion other more important things (like designing a bunch of stuff and having it printed, for example), that really need my attention. Plus you've got great taste and are really good at this.

Can you help a girl out?

Couple things:
As much as I wish I could rock flat sandals like the lady in the picture, I'm a shortie, 5'3", so I need a heel.

I'd rather not spend over $250 and less would be even better - although I can always be convinced otherwise for an amazing shoe.

I know you hate J$%^w, but I wouldn't judge if you found something there

That's it. Please help me. I've got 5 weeks to go and it's starting to get a little intense.

*****

Don't be fooled. THIS LADY IS TOTALLY WEARING WEDGES.

How bout these Madewell "Mini Wedge" Sandals? Too low?

It's either that or the Twelfth St. by Cynthia Vincent Jackson T Strap Wedges. Which would be a whole lot cooler if they were just an inch less high.

Would someone please explain to me why all of the wedges happening right now are either 1.5 inches or FOUR fucking inches??

That fourth inch can mean the difference between sexily sauntering around in your maxi dress and tromping around like a complete idiot/SUFFERING ENORMOUS BLISTERS. Which you DO NOT want to suffer the night before your wedding.

Shitballs. You'd better order some shoes pronto and start breaking them in.

Note to the Team of Experts: Our bride is in New Zealand, so if you're down to help shop, pls hit stores that offer worldwide delivery.

Novia Plátano (at top) by Gloria Vilches via Honey Kennedy

I JUST FOUND YOUR WEDDING JACKET

Okay, so it's $640, but hello. Lindsey Thornburg keeps knocking it out of the park.

(Also avail in tie-dye.)

What should I put in my WEDDING piñata?

Dear esb,

I've been a long time reader and when I got engaged and things started to roll around I've been tempted to write to you several times about the frustrating things involved with wedding planning: starting from my opinionated FMIL who is not chipping in on any of the wedding but insists on suggesting things that cost (my parents are paying for everything except the church, which the groom is paying for), the guest list, 2 year old in the bridal party (insisted by, you guessed it, FMIL), and even one of the groom's aunts asking me if the beige ("But it's beige, not white") dress she was showing me in the picture was okay for my wedding. (I am a strong believer that only the bride should wear white/ivory/cream/beige unless she herself decides the bridal party should be in that color or ask all the guests to come in that color. And MY dress is beige.) Lots of frustrating stuff. But I've managed to get through, mainly by reading this blog and laughing (sometimes drinking) it off.

So now, I come to you with something fun. My wedding will be at 3pm, on a Yacht Club at the beach. Weddings at the beach here last about 12 hours. We will have lots of time to mingle, dance, drink, eat, etc. My fiance and I were joking around the other day and the idea of a piñata came along. I. LOVED. IT. So we were thinking... instead of doing a garter toss, to put the garters INSIDE the piñata. The piñata would just be for the boys (I don't think the ladies would warm up to the piñata if they're in short dresses) so the ones that get a garter from the piñata will get to put them on the girls.

But... what else should we put in the piñata? I'm also accepting ideas for what the piñata should look like, I'm thinking it should be something like Confetti System's Piñatas.

Should we go traditional and have people go at it with a broomstick while blindfolded? Or have the groom pry it open from above? What song should be playing when the piñata thing is going on? Do you think this is the tackiest idea??

Thanks for your and the readers' help!

La Piñata Lady

*****

GO ALL THE WAY.

Garters, confetti, quality condoms + those little packets of lube (I'm assuming this is going to happen somewhere around 1 or 2am), and of course candy.

Salty caramels have the perfect beachy/kinky vibe.
______________________________

Speaking of salty caramels, has anyone tried Jimmy Fallon's new Ben & Jerry's flavor? OMG.

HOUSTON, WE'VE HAD A PROBLEM

The Jack & Ginger, which is winning our contest with 30% of the vote, is no longer available in a medium.

Do we give it to the Wren, which is #2 with 21%?

Do we throw the Wren into a run-off with the Vero Moda (which is at #3 if we count Rob's 50 votes, which I think we should)?

Should MSUN just buy this stupid J. Crew dress, which my friend M thinks would be far more appropriate for a Country Club wedding than any of the other options?

Do you guys like this late entry better than anything else??

Is this all too boring for words and should we just GO DRINK A MARTINI ALREADY?

happy friday, ladypantses ;)

Photo: Lara Stone courtesy of POP Magazine 2007 via PAPERFASHION + Fashionising
_____________________________

FWIW, I voted for this puppy. To be rocked with kil-ler heels. Not wedges, HEELS.

Country Club Wedding Crisis: THE VOTE

So yesterday I asked you to help me shop for this sister-of-the-groom (aka Might Show Up Naked). Roughly 80 of you did.

I combed your comments and chose 7 dresses, taking these deets from MSUN into consideration:

It will be an outdoor ceremony in the late afternoon (in August), moved inside for an evening reception. It is taking place up north (close to Boston - the 'wicked' totally gave me away!), and I definitely think it is a 'new money' vibe (though I am not entirely sure what that means).

... I am loving the idea of going balls out on one asset, staying pretty conservative everywhere else - aka - maybe get reeeaal leggy and try to stay pretty modest on the top?? Thoughts? (PS - now that we are best friends I can tell you that I am 5' 10", between size 8-10... more likely to show off my legs than my boobies/arms). Maybe a one of the cap sleeve numbers? I am also LOVING the backless idea.

Joie "Mae" Silk Feather Print Dress. Pure Silk.
WAS: $368.00 NOW: $154.56

Trina Turk Pierson Cowl Neck Dress.
Viscose/Elasthane. $148.00

Vero Moda Very Jersey Wrap Front Dress.
93% Polyester, 7% Elastane. $103.43

Wren Sasha Ruched Dress. WAS: $227.00 NOW: $98.00

Halston Heritage. 87% Rayon, 11% Nylon, 2% Elastane. WAS: $365 NOW: $146

Jessamine Corset Dress.
16% Nylon, 42% Polyester, 42% Cotton. $155.00

Jack and Ginger Chiffon Faux Wrap Dress. Silk. $128.00

We kind of struck out on the backless thing. Maybe that only works with an evening dress? (I.E. This "body conscious" shit sucks.)

HOKAY. Please choose wisely. You only get one vote.

I'll post the results tomorrow at 4pm PST.

Top Image: Vasil Germanov For GIA Magazine via Touchpuppet

______________________________

DISCLAIMER: Rob gets to vote as many times as he wants.

Let's burn this bridge BEFORE we get to it

ESB,

So many of your "dear ESB" writers say, "I never thought I would be writing to you..." Not I. I always knew I would have some conundrum requiring serious spunk. So, here it is.

My brother and I are getting hitched almost exactly one year apart, and my mother is super nervous about what to wear to both weddings. She has some reason. She's a gorgeous, curvy, size 14/16 woman with, umm, well, big jugs (and the sass to match). She's really insecure, so I have been trying to encourage her long-distance while she shops. Oh, and she hates shopping. And trying clothes on. And has very little (read "no") fashion sense.

So, she finally called me in happy tears the other day after having found "the perfect dress" for my brother's wedding this summer. It fit great and she felt beautiful in it. I was ecstatic for her... until she sent me a picture. Yeah. Awful.

Two questions: One, do I tell her how awful this dress is? The wedding is in less than a month, and she has already bought accessories. Two, if it's too late for this wedding (as I suspect it is), can you give me some tasteful yet, um, not atrocious suggestions for what she could wear to my wedding next summer? I love the woman, and would proudly stand next to her in photos if she wore a bedazzled trash sack. But, I want her to feel as pretty as she is.

As mentioned, it must fit and flatter a busty size 14. And she likes yellow. And I won't be able to talk her into anything over $250 (she refuses to spend money on clothes). Oh, and the wedding is outdoors, in Wisconsin, in July.

A million thanks.

*****

I'm posting this too late to tell you to tell her, "NO, MOM. JUST... NO."

So she'll look a lot cooler at your wedding. Oopsies.

Anyhoo.

After LPC had such great shopping-for-the-MOTB advice to offer here, I figured I'd ask her to help me out with this one.

Here's what Our Lady of Privilege and Anxiety came up with:

1. Don't tell your mother something she's bought after ages of searching is hideous, UNLESS you're willing stick by her side until she finds something reasonable. If she could have done better herself she would.

2. Tell her what you want her to wear for your wedding. BTW, Mothers of the Bride don't have to match anything if they don't want to. But if they want to, help them out.

3. If you love her so dearly, my guess is that most of all she loves you too and wants to make you happy.

4. However, she will have no objection to looking beautiful and even a little bit cool. That's what we used to say when we meant bitchin'. At our age, simple is better, judicious use of color is better, silk is the best.

Amsale makes some great dresses. Nordstrom has a wide range, here. 

This one's my particular favorite. Something about the slight raggedness makes sense. $290.

[Editor's Note: Definitely worth keeping your eye out for a sale. And according to the reviews, these dresses run small, so your mom should order a 16 or even an 18.]

Alternatively, there's a company called Siri, in South San Francisco, that has a really wide range, here. 

This one even comes in yellow. It's a little pricier than your mom's ostensible limit, but hey, silk.

Siri's short sheath dresses can be had for $250-$280. The long dress (I just can't use the word gown) above, known as the Sorbonne, is $380 in duppioni or shantung, up to size 16. They offer up to size 24, but there's additional cost for plus size. In silk taffetas, the same dress costs $410.

If your mama just can't get comfortable with arm-showage, she can always resort to those ubiquitous little jackets, but I'd rather ask the people at Siri if they could add sleeves, or wear a spider-webby cardigan. Most mother-of-the-bride jackets are stodgy.

Finally, give her an esb-approved necklace with a garnet-eyed snake charm. Or something. If it's small enough, she'll wear it and smile her face off. We never meant, really, to leave all that behind.

Top Image: Kristen McMenamy by Juergen Teller for Marc Jacobs 2005

I want a birthday do-over

Is that a terrible thing to say?

We've been so pooped from the wedding planning, there hasn't been any kind of birthday party around here in three years.

Maybe I'll throw a surprise anniversary party for H.

(Photos via Scout Holiday)

Country Club Wedding Crisis: PLZ help shop!

First off... LOVE your blog. I have no idea how I ended up here (seeing as how I have never never been anywhere near getting married), but you are how I start every morning.

Ok. Here is the situation. My younger brother is getting married this summer to his high school sweetheart. She comes from a very, er, different background than our family. As in, she is rich. Like, really rich. Like, her-family-owns-islands rich. This is all well and good, he is happy, she is happy - great. The wedding is going to be at a shmancy country club, where I am convinced that all of the 'Chetts' and 'Bretts' of the world are going to drink Rosé and talk about their yachts.

Ok, here is where you come in. I don't know what to wear! I am not in the wedding (thank the Lord), but I do have to give a speech and I might do a reading at the ceremony.  I want to look HOT. Like 'I-know-you-rich-folk-have-been-judging-my-family-for-years-but-I-look-good-in-this-tiny-dress-and-don't-give-a-f*ck-what-you-think' hot. But not slutty, you know what I mean? I bought this dress, which I think could work with maybe wicked tall gold wedges and a geometric gold bibb necklace?? But I don't know if it is the killer dress that I have been dreaming about. I am tall - 5' 10'', average build, and would love to not spend more than $150.

Oh. Did I also mention that my ex-boyfriend will be there? Yeeeaaaah... I need to look HOT.

Help!

Sincerely,
Might Show Up Naked?

*****

MSUN: That is not your dress.

How bout you guys shop and then I'll post my favorite later? OR WE COULD EVEN HAVE A VOTE.

Much as I would like to devote four hours to this dilemma (no srsly, I would), I have a writing deadline that I have got to jam on.

Photo: Vasil Germanov For GIA Magazine via Touchpuppet

Seeking: A NON-Velvet Wedding Album

Hi esb,

I just passed my two year anniversary and am finally looking at putting together an album of the day. But I'm having the hardest time finding a rad album and hope you might be able to recommend some.

I don't want overpriced velvet (or any velvet), faux leather or shiny polyester fabric. And I don't want all my photos reprinted into a coffee table book either.

The other question I have is, is it better to get an album where I buy the stickers and stick them onto the paper which is covered with that soft white paper, or to get an album where the photos sit behind plastic?

Side story - I was in a stationery shop and asked the clerk about photo albums and when she asked "for what?", I reluctantly admitted it was for wedding photos. She took me to the shelf of gaudy, embellished, shiny, white albums, just the kind of albums I don't want. She then noticed I was wearing a single ring (that has diamonds) on my ring finger and exclaims "oh you're getting married!!!!!! How long have you been engaged?" and I said "No, I am married already" so she snaps back "How am I mean't to know you're already married if you only wear one ring!?" W-T-F right!? I left the shop pretty soon after that.

*****

Um. You do realize I'm the lady who's still "storing" her wedding polaroids in the refrigerator three years later?

I emailed my lady Christina Richards to ask if she had any advice for us. Here's her reply:

I wish I could be more help to you here. I've been looking for affordable diy albums since I got married but without much luck.

I actually just ordered a sample of that velvet book. The 10x10 is $150 at Jenni Bick and it's made in the usa with archival materials so I don't think the price is crazy (just my 2 cents).

Since you're not into the look of it anyway what about a book cloth or paper covered album?

Rag and Bone and Kolo both make paper page (you mount the prints) and photo-sleeve versions.

Mounting the prints in a paper page album can be a little tricky, you will need to have a lot of patience to get those prints in there perfectly. Whatever album you end up with it's best to use prints from a professional lab and make sure the album and adhesives are archival.

Maybe some of the readers have found better resources, I would love to hear more suggestions.

Editor's Note: I kind of don't hate the velvet album. I kind of like it a lot more than the Rag + Bone with the stupid flowered diaper-bag fabric (just my 2 cents).

A much-needed rant regarding beer budgets, snooty fiancés and bullshit calligraphy

First, I love your blog, and I love the stories, advice, and oh la la the fashion.

I have to rant.

In an effort to have a champagne wedding on my beer budget, many corners, albeit ones that I was comfortable with cutting, needed to be cut. As a practical bride, I eliminated the need for fancy "Save the Dates" and DIY-ed mine, hello business card magnets, a copy machine, and self stick laminate! Another budget buster, invitations, foregoing the letterpress that I love, I decided to go the minted.com route, and find invitations at a fraction of the price knowing that only a few people would actually give a shit about my invitations outside of myself and hey, for the price, they are pretty cool.

So in another effort to cut cost, and make my life easier, I thought online RSVP on a custom site that would enable guest inventory, food options, table seating, etc. was a no brainer, especially for a techie like me. Insert bomb number 1, the fiance finds online RSVP to be tacky. Yet he is in the software industry... touche. I think it's a great way to organize, keep myself from creating a Xanax habit, and hey, be Green too!

So then, I have pretty cool handwriting, and I planned on addressing each envelope in my handwriting but a little more stylish.. Insert Bomb number 2, the fiance finds it necessary to hire an expensive Calligrapher to write on the fucking envelopes of our minted.com invitations and claims that the "Calligraphy sets the tone of your event." I call bullshit.

If people are so concerned with the fucking scribe on the front of their envelope as opposed to just being thrilled to share in our day with us, then they have major problems, not us for not using an expensive Calligrapher! The way my mind works is that that money could go towards extra food or booze for our guests... or should I pay the Calligrapher to write on the envelope, "because of this fancy writing that you will look at for 5 seconds, throw in the trash and not care, an appetizer has been removed from the party, please eat this envelope in lieu of that appetizer." haha.

What are your thoughts?

*****

Please tell your fiancé to remove the stick from his ass.

You already "set the tone" of the wedding with your DIY Save the Date's. Hiring a calligrapher to address your minted.com invitations sounds like some serious bullshit to me.

Also, if you want people to actually RSVP, you'd better at least offer an online option.

YOU: 2
FIANCÉ: 0

Natalia Zakharova by Michael Donovan via Rowena Murillo + FASHIONOGRAPHY