Hi
We're getting married in Hawaii. In a month. We picked a hotel and are essentially doing everything through them. We worked with one coordinator for almost a year and a half, then last month she informed me she got invited to her college friend's wedding on the same day as ours. What was I going to do? Pull an uber-bitch and say no? Right. I'm not sure I've got a bone in my body that would let me do such a thing.
So her boss, the "director of weddings" took over. All well and good ... until she sends me the wedding agenda thingy. And it's wrong. Location, time, enhancements we didn't and don't want. So I email her stating such. We've been volleying back and forth like this for about three weeks. Yesterday I was supposed to put down a 50% deposit. Didn't hear from her for three days. Get a revised agenda this morning and BAM. Still wrong. And not in small ways... more like charging me triple for food, adding on odd fees I've never been told about.
It's seriously possible I'm just ultra-fried due to a ridiculous work schedule, but three weeks of revising and resending and waiting to see if maybe *this time* it'll be right is a bit absurd.
Who knows if you've got pearls of wisdom on this one. I think I really just need to be talked back from the ledge.
Also? No, I will not call her. I have a really ridiculous hatred of talking on the phone. I don't do it. Plus, seems better to keep shit in writing with her.
*****
I think you know it's time to get on the phone.
Call the coordinator you were working with originally, and say in a friendly, off-the-record tone of voice, "Will you go over this agenda with me? I'm having trouble communicating with your boss, and I'm kind of freaking out over here…."
Dan Martensen Portrait via Thunder In Our Hearts
Also, consider sending your complaints to the hotel management. Sounds like your new coordinator is not doing what he/she is paid to do.
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteThere are times to be firm with what you want, and this is one of them.
get on the phone, you can get so much acomplished in a phone call that would take weeks via email, it sounds like. after the call, email her with a "just to summarize our phone call..." to lay everything out in writing.
ReplyDeletewhat about your FH? If you can't do the phone thing, can he? Because someone needs to get on the phone and be firm.
ReplyDeleteTIme to pull the bitch card. good luck. I agree put it in writing after the phone call.
ReplyDeleteYup, with ESB on this one. One phone call can clarify things in a way that can take a million emails. But I would DEFINITELY back it up with an email, coz you need that confirmation that you have got her on the same page as you.
ReplyDeleteI'm planning my Palm Springs wedding from New Zealand. I do as much as possible via email so I totally get the whole not wanting to call thing. Call this woman. I hate the phone too but short of a face to face meeting with her, you need a more direct form of communication - basically, what everyone else is saying. Good luck.
ReplyDeletesuck it up and pick up the phone! otherwise the details may never get ironed out and you'll have to live with it
ReplyDeleteI hate phone calls too. Make a list of what you need to say, have all the documents etc you need at hand, then just dial, don't even *think*. And if you're not getting anywhere, ask for the number of her manager.
ReplyDeleteWe had the EXACT same problem with our coordinator.
ReplyDeleteWe hated her to the point where we considered switching venues just weeks before the wedding. A phone call and personal meeting later everyone involved was much relieved. Things were much easier to discuss in person (and quicker)
In the end there were a few bits that didn't go as agreed on the night but as everyone knows, that didn't matter because what really mattered was that everyone had plenty of wine and food and cakes and a very good time.
Ugh, we also went through this and it sucked. Our coordinator left her job, and in between hiring someone new they had an interim coordinator who clearly had no interest in weddings and messed up a LOT of things. We (ok, mainly my dad, whatever) sat down with our original quote, and their new proposed quote ($8,000 too high!) and laid out every single thing that was wrong. That way when we all spoke we could see everything in front of us and we didn't forget to bring up anything.
ReplyDeleteI recommend doing this, faxing it to them, and then sucking it up and calling. And don't give up. We ended up getting all our changes, plus more, since they screwed up so bad (free champagne, anyone??) Good luck!
everyone who isn't a fifteen-year-old girl hates the phone, son; this is the most important party you'll ever throw, and you need to cowboy up and make sure it goes down perfectly.
ReplyDeletei hate the phone now, and i also hated the phone when i was planning my UK wedding from the US; i learned the hard way that some of my vendors (including the town's only florist, who sold her shop and passed my booking on to someone else who had zero obligations to me two months before our event) ignored email and snapped to for polite phone calls and polite phone calls ONLY. if i could wake up hours early to make costly international calls, you can reach out and touch someone in hawaii. i have faith in you.
what esb said!! write what you plan on saying out first: it might help with the talking-on-the-phone-anxiety.
ReplyDeleteIf this woman is charging you above and beyond what you were originally quoted, please consider sending the email thread to her manager at the hotel. She will have a boss, I promise, and they might have an interest in getting it right even if she seems to be a total nitwit.
ReplyDeleteI echo what Miss K said: if you loathe and fear the phone to the point of it potentially costing you scads of money, get you MOH, fiance, or mom to call. Someone needs to dial the number, yo.
Grow up and get on the phone already. Good grief.
ReplyDelete