Monday, June 20, 2011

How will they know you're the bride if you're not wearing a dress?


Dear ESB,

I'm getting married this summer and I still don't know what I'm wearing. The wedding is casual, and I want something I can party in. I do not want to have to change clothes at any part of the thing and I detest wearing dresses or skirts. I need to feel comfortable, and that means wearing pants (but not a suit).

The idea of wearing pants to my wedding makes me happy, it makes the future hubs happy -- my family even gets a kick out of the idea. But I'm stuck. This outfit needs to be special without being overly dressy. Over and over I'm hearing from friends, "but how will they know you're the bride if you're not wearing a dress or a veil?" (oh yeah, I think veils look stupid). Me: "because they were invited to MY wedding & they KNOW who I am." It's not like there will be strangers rolling through who will get overly concerned upon themselves about who the hell the bride of the night is. I'll wear a name tag if I have to. Still, the question is starting to make me wonder -- will *I* feel special?

I'm not reconsidering my decision to wear pants. But my little 5 year old girl heart wants to feel special on our wedding day, and though I know it's a little silly, I want it dammit. It's the one thing I'm feeling inwardly fussy about. Those pants, and the rest of the outfit, need to be fabulous. So, I am trying to look for something that is edgy/fancy/flattering all in one. It's tricky because I am not a small person - I'm quite curvy. I love my curves, but it requires the outfit to have some sort of structure so I don't look like a baggy schlump on my wedding day. This is making my shopping trips turn out more annoying than successful.

All I have so far is a soft blue top similar to this.

This is why I'm writing to you. You & your readers have some crazy amazing skill at this online shopping deal, which I seem to fail at miserably. If you have time to help a girl out, I would be forever grateful.


-- Pretty in Pants


*****

Clearly you need SEQUINS.

Any chance you're a Size 10?


I managed to find this pair of "palazzo evening pants" on ebay.

These are pretty good too.


(Top photo: Kate Lanphear via StockholmStreetStyle via FEAR LANPHEAR via kidchamp's must-read pants-shopping primer)

42 comments:

  1. The sparkle blazer from last week would also be a rad option, perhaps not with the psarkle pants...

    ReplyDelete
  2. ohmygod. I did not see sequins coming. OF COURSE you need sequins.

    ReplyDelete
  3. cara, the whole point is that you see sequins coming.

    ReplyDelete
  4. great idea, and SEND PICS of your final outfit

    ReplyDelete
  5. I say detailed embellishment over sequins.

    For a lot of $$, this beautiful YSL cropped gold and silver pair is my top choice:
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/am/product/168084?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-ProductFeed-_-Runway_to_Green-_-Pants&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-9mDOx.1Sh2BZKil.V7rerQ

    Less exciting but more affordable is this Rodarte for opening ceremony pair:
    http://www.barneys.com/Lace-Pant/501157587,default,pd.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. Eep. I appear to be in the minority here, but not sequined palazzo pants!!! No. Will not flatter most curvy figures.

    Structure is your friend. If you like color, what about either of these Cacharels?

    These Opening Ceremony with straight trouser legs and ruffled pocket details feel weddingy without being weddingy. They also come in black.

    If you stick with wide leg styles, go for something made out of fabric that drapes beautifully and Katherine Hepburn the shit out them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah, hmm. Depends on how curvy is curvy but if it were me, I'd do a cigarette pant in some cool material (maybe literally if it's summer), a sequin top - maybe something that hangs a little long (like this: http://www.theoutnet.com/product/96148?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-Custom-_-Link-_-Builder&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-LJFjSbPf_BFw2VYR5b.QFQ) and killer heels.

    Or I like pants like these: http://www.lagarconne.com/store/item.htm?itemid=11101&sid=1018&pid=1016

    Oh, and this top: http://www.shopbop.com/sleeveless-eyelet-peplum-top-illusion/vp/v=1/845524441902531.htm?folderID=2534374302123326&fm=other-shopbysize&colorId=12926

    And just to annoy ESB, I'd love this top with almost any pants: http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/JCrewCollection/Collection/topssweaters/PRDOVR~44131/44131.jsp

    OR this: http://www.net-a-porter.com/am/product/112596?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-ProductFeed-_-JCrew-_-Tops&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-JVf5vF4matgHWOEL5_mn8Q

    OR this (not JCrew): http://us.asos.com/countryid/2/Miss-Sixty-Miss-Sixty-Sequin-Embellished-Tank/w4odt/?iid=1379682&MID=35719&affid=2135&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-XxrCdY7bzNSYn_ZbEBT03g

    I think the top is WAY more important than the pant - I'd just get a simple flattering pant that you feel good in. Use the top to draw attention to your smiling face.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Agreed that the top needs to be pretty killer/awesome. I love the white pants that were posted up there, or even gorgeous cigarette pants, but I think you need a far more kick ass top. Possibly with embellishments or sequins:

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/vince-hammered-sequin-tank/3172476?origin=category

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/kate-spade-new-york-primrose-top/3163722?origin=category

    ReplyDelete
  9. Some inspiration: http://nibsblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/the-bride-worepants/

    ReplyDelete
  10. like the first pants!

    my submission for pants week: danish godess ohland in a custom made stine goya ensemble

    http://www.vogue.com/vogue-daily/article/costume-drama-danish-songstress-oh-land-shops-resort-for-center-stage-looks/

    ReplyDelete
  11. i'm all for plus size women wearing sequin pants because that shit is hot. but one thing to watch out for is if the thighs touch, sequins catching can be super annoying between the legs. ruin the pants and maybe even trip you up.
    had a pair of sequin shoes and every time the right brushed the left sequins fell off, became loose and it drove me mad.

    ReplyDelete
  12. you need a great ass for sequin pants. if you don't have one: may i suggest a great suit and a sequin top ?

    pants
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/115018
    jacket
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/115017
    top
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/162249

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like the lace Rodarte + Opening Ceremony ones Anna suggested, but, for fun, and because you said your wedding is "casual:"

    These would make a bold statement!
    http://tinyurl.com/3stqa8m

    This is a cute print, too:
    http://tinyurl.com/43nqsjn

    Or you could go the vintage route:
    http://tinyurl.com/446lb5b

    P.S. Have you considered a jumpsuit? I like this one:
    http://tinyurl.com/3q2a5pn

    and this one:
    http://tinyurl.com/3qmy7y2

    Good luck! xo.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @nicole wtf are you supposed to wear under a SHEER JUMPSUIT?

    ReplyDelete
  15. please do not wear those rachel comey pants. they would make everyone look like a ... tent

    ReplyDelete
  16. http://www.eastsidebride.com/2010/04/i-can-has-fancy-wedding-jeans.html

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kudos to you for wearing pants. I wore pants to the prom (major scandal), and loved every fucking second of it. They were chiffon and beaded. For years I swore I would have them dyed and wear them to my wedding too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm not sure I love sequin pants? I think this would make you feel elegant and special, but would also be super comfy!!!

    Pants:
    http://www.barneys.com/Wide-Leg-Pant/501150405,default,pd.html?utm_source=GAN&utm_medium=Polyvore&utm_campaign=Primary

    Top:
    *If money is no concern*
    (I have seen this in person, and it is gorgeous!!)
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/109078

    *If that seems a bit too spendy*
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/162249

    *If you don't want to sparkle*
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/110646


    I think you could pair this with a really pretty delicate gold and blue drop earring with a gold bangle and some comfortable goldish sandles.
    Earrings:
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/161199

    Bracelet:
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/lauren-by-ralph-lauren-bedford-square-large-disc-bracelet/3173532?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=7162

    Comfy Shoes:
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/coach-ramona-jeweled-flat-sandal/3152124?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=6790

    Funky Shoes:
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/diane-von-furstenberg-kourion-gladiator-sandal/3164245?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=1825

    But seriously those pants would be beautiful I think, and that first ank is gorgous although kind of spendy!
    Send pics when you pick - so kick ass!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Would you consider shorts? I'm more than curvy and look killer in shorts (imo).

    http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod66630018&parentId=

    ReplyDelete
  20. i love you guys, but STOP RECOMMENDING PANTS ON SALE THAT ONLY GO UP TO SIZE 6.

    ReplyDelete
  21. There is so much awesome here! Thank you so much. I love the look of the sequined palazzo pants (although I am no size 10, and am worried about the between the thighs bit), this is def something I need to check out & try on. I also majorly love the French Connection Thea Palazzo Pants that rodjsr suggested.

    Sheer or no, this girl does not look good in jumpsuits. I do envy girls that do, though.

    (Pretty in Pants)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Admitted Offender of Size 6 sale pants revision:

    Can you wear satin?
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/110298?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-Custom-_-Link-_-Builder&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-gHps6fvDXC4Q_327UJymGQ

    Gorgeous (Not satin - And just the pants)
    http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtmlitemId=prod70080013&ecid=BGALRJ84DHJLQkR4&ci_src=14110925&ci_sku=B1F08

    Blush:
    (Just the pants)
    http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtmlitemId=prod71000006&ecid=BGALRJ84DHJLQkR4&ci_src=14110925&ci_sku=B1GQZ

    All these go up to 10, 12 and 14.
    I really like the blush ones!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I like these Max Azria white textured twill pants (and they're on sale!)
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/115018

    Simple silk top: http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/112047

    Grey sequinned jacket:
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/112342
    or this jacket http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/110437

    Seeing as I'm now having a lovely time fantasy shopping, let us now purchase an amulet necklace from catbird https://catbirdnyc.com/shop/product.php?productid=17539&cat=105&page=1, and fill it with some heady perfume, fuck it let's say guerlain Shalimar (http://www.basenotes.net/ID10211632.html)

    before returning to the net-a-porter sale and snapping up either some brogues http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/96909
    or a classic heel http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/101784

    ReplyDelete
  24. Not schlumpy, available in larger sizes, and they really say "hello, sailor".

    ReplyDelete
  25. These ASOS nude palazzos go up to 14: http://us.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-High-Waist-Extreme-Palazzo-Trouser/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1595381

    And if you need actual plus type sizes. Take a gander at Talbots. No, srsly, they have really retooled their image what with the Julianne Moore ad campaign and all.

    These shiny apple green pants could be fun: http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi26670&rootCategory=cat70012&catId=cat80010&sortKey=Default&section=Regular&conceptIdUnderSale=cat70012

    ReplyDelete
  26. I would wear these with a sexy top and gold shoes.

    http://bit.ly/mdFLvI

    But then again, my power animal is a retired Bingo-player in Florida.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Shit, meant to suggest *these* trews, though I do heart the Malene Birgers http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/114964

    ReplyDelete
  28. OMG look what I found! And they are ONLY available in 14,16, and 18.

    http://bit.ly/keWKze

    No seriously, I'm REALLY proud of myself.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Once you find the perfect pants, I'd love to see you in a less-casual look: how about a big ballerina bun, white tuxedo jacket, swoopy eyeliner and some killer shoes? I feel like metallics will make you feel fancy, and they're easy to match with white (should you choose to be a traditional bride in that regard) - I love the idea of a femme white suite with sheer gold blouse underneath and some matching bling.

    Please send photos - I want to see how this all shakes out!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous, the shape fx pants you linked originally (which I also really like) led me to find a jumpsuit that might not be an absolute disaster on me (plus, WAY affordable):
    http://tinyurl.com/3mjrhtc

    Also, the sequined pants Maddie found are nothing short of amazing. I have to admit, I'm feeling FAR less frustrated now.

    (Pretty in Pants)

    ReplyDelete
  31. shit, now *i* want a pair of those sequined pants maddie found. wear those, Pretty in Pants!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Maddie's sequin palazzo pants are UK sizing so actually much smaller in US sizing. I'm a 12 in UK but an 6 or 8 in the US.

    ReplyDelete
  33. when i started reading this i was imagining some fab silver glitter (like that old crushed glass glitter) tuxedo pants with black "piping" down the sides...aka, the bride version of my grandfather's plaid tuxedo pants he wears to all his christmas parties (he might be rather infamous for his "daring" wardrobe choices). sadly, i have no idea where one finds such amazing dream pants, but it seems like everyone here has found a plethora of sparkly options.
    p.s. and top it all off with that emersonmade tux from the other day!

    ReplyDelete
  34. @Ana I really like that black jumpsuit that you linked. How are you thinking about accessorizing it? All this talk about sequins has got me worried tho... black jumpsuit + sequins + jazz hands = dance recital.

    You could do wide, white leather belt, like this:
    http://stylemania.com/perforated-leather-waist-belt-843726.html

    Or what if you wore a long lace vest, or some kind of sheer whispy thing over the jumpsuit. This is kinda what I mean, though with less fabric, and more see-through

    http://www.shopnastygal.com/products/new/clothing/coats-jackets/Drama-Queen-Lace-Vest.html

    That idea might work better with a sleeveless jumpsuit like this one:
    http://www.shapefx.com/store/Apparel___Shop_by_Category___Control_Jumpsuits___Bodysuits___Ruched_Control_Jumpsuit___S200938066?Args=

    Finally, how do you feel about black lace pants? These look like they have some structure. They're available in a 6 or 16 only, though:
    http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod122720031&ecid=NMALRFeedJ84DHJLQkR4&ci_src=14110925&ci_sku=T31ZB

    ReplyDelete
  35. @Allitron those black lace pants are genius. on my first shopping trip, a well meaning family member had me try on white lace pants that were janky as hell - these black lace pants have redeemed any ill opinion I've ever had towards lace pants. I also like the way you think with that lace vest. Thank you!

    I think if I went the way of the black jump suit, I would take up a friend's offer of making me a short cardigan/bolero in some bright jewel-tone, and then be on the look out for some silver or gold shoes & chunky jewelry.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Someone should wear one of these 3.1 Philip Lim jumpsuits to their wedding:

    chic bridal white: http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/160075

    sparkly blue: http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/104078

    ReplyDelete
  37. I found my pants! They are sadly sans-sequins, but they are a wonderful dove-grey linen that I loved. I will, of course, send you pictures of the ensemble & the day, ESB. <3 Thank you for all the inspiration!!

    ReplyDelete