Friday, May 27, 2011

how to finish a screenplay, in 12 easy steps


1. shut off your phone + your internet for 24 hours. you heard me, 24 HOURS.

2. do 3 loads of laundry.

3. take a nap. a long one.

4. stare at the computer.

5. stare at yourself in the mirror.

6. WRITE

7. EDIT

8. WRITE WRITE WRITE

9. sleep

10. go for a run. (i'm kidding! that didn't happen.)

11. WRITE EDIT WRITE EDIT WRITE WRITE WRITE

12. DELETE. nothing drastic. just a couple of extraneous scenes.


tada! only one year after i started work on this draft....

IT'S FINISHED.

still a little rough in patches, but it's finished, you guys. as in, it has a motherf*cking ending. the previous draft didn't have an ending, so i consider this a major accomplishment.

i'm mixing a martini as we speak. (not kidding.)

Exorcism of the Last Painting I Ever Made, performance by Tracie Emin, 1996 via TeenAngster via myloveforyou via You Should Take Care + Flash glam trash!
Posted by esb at 1:44 PM

28 comments:

  1. AmandaMay 27, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    CONGRATULATIONS, my dear!

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  2. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    hell, yes, lady! the celebratory drink is well deserved.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ToniaMay 27, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    congratulations!! that is mega exciting. what's the next step? never mind, don't think about that, just enjoy your drink first. but i am curious what your plan is with it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. wool and miscMay 27, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

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  5. wool and miscMay 27, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    also, #10! hahahaha

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  6. CeliaMay 27, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    wahoo! you are the most amazing!!

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  7. CeliaMay 27, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    floppity. milkers.

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  8. nikkiMay 27, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    CONGRATS! That is huge (your accomplishment, not the boobies above)

    (although yes, those too)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ms KMay 27, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    huzzah!!!

    I'm not running and drinking to celebrate you! (Just kidding, I was doing those things before I read this post.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. east side brideMay 27, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    @nikki the correct term is "floppity milkers."

    ReplyDelete
  11. LPCMay 27, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations.

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  12. KristyMay 27, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Congratulations! Well done, lady!

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    Congratulations! That's huge!

    ReplyDelete
  14. cevdMay 27, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    goddamn it. we're aren't even there.

    drink extra martinis for me please and ... fucking yay.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 3:19 PM

    dear esb

    so raad u always know what to do

    i have a big problem maybe you can help with
    it not about weddings or at least not mine
    i have rats
    two nights ago my doggie was very interested in the box which covers the water heater
    i pulled it back and we looked in
    signs of rats but no rat
    i suggested we look around the house elsewhere
    she kept insisting on that box
    we looked again
    there hanging upside down on the inner corner
    a lovely brown rat
    it jumped down and got away under the woodpile

    so here is my problem what to do

    i got my daddies gun with a shotgun shell in it
    do i just wait patiently and blow them away
    or what
    i'm afraid of what my daughter would say

    you're so cool please help me

    what should i do

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  16. angelaMay 27, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    you are INCREDIBLE. and so is your dad's "dear esb". <3 you both!

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  17. east side brideMay 27, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    @angela feel like answering it for me? because YIKES. we have a whole family history with pet rats.

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  18. bMay 27, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    love the tracy emin shot / reference. this makes me really dig you.

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  19. bMay 27, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    and congrats!

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  20. ErinMay 27, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    Congrats!! I'm trying to finish a book so this gives me hope... Maybe I'll try your technique. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. angelaMay 27, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    esb and esb dad,

    i hear your family has a history of pet rats...so in order to make everyone happy, get one of those reusable (in case that rat had a family) "no kill" rat traps like this: http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Mouse-Trap-Humane-Mousetrap/dp/B000YFA7HW

    so no rats get killed, esb is happy and esb dad can catch it and let it go wherever he pleases...maybe in the yard of a neighbor he doesn't like?

    ReplyDelete
  22. kathleen // scout + lillyMay 27, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    F*CK YEAH! mega-congrats are in order!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Cate SMay 28, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    Congratulations!

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  24. laurenMay 29, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    FIN, cookies. motherfucking FIN. good for you!

    ReplyDelete
  25. AGMay 29, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    how did the congrats turn to a rat discussion? I just caught one in my yard and took it to the humane society. I told them to lie to me and tell me they were going to give it some shots and put it up for adoption.

    on a better note, can't wait to go see your movie someday!

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  26. nicoleMay 31, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    Bravo!

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  27. RachelMay 31, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Yes, yes, yes! I'm late to this party, but it's still worth the congratulations.

    Rats outside are something you must come to terms with. If they venture indoors, then all bets are off and they can't expect mercy, whether you have had pet rats or not.

    ReplyDelete
  28. bigBANG studioJune 1, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    A HUGE FLOPPITY GRAVITATIONAL TATA of a CONGRATULATIONS, lady.

    Finished screenplays, tatas, and rats. Sounds like fodder for a Woody Allen script.

    ReplyDelete