If I were to get married now...................

from Martha B. of Nibs

Hindsight is a tricky thing. It can make you appreciate some of the decisions you've made. But it can also make you regret the paths not taken. When I look back at our wedding day I made lots of choices...some good...some not so good.

The good ones- I kept within a tight budget which dictated a lot. Yet I can honestly say I never felt cheated. I skipped the big sitdown dinner in favor of light hors d'oeuvres and a three-tiered cake. Decorations were left to our best man who happened to be a talented graphic designer. What he did with 300 balloons was absolutely amazing! I nixed tuxes and had the guys wear navy blue suits. My satin dress and my two bridesmaids' taffeta skirts were sewn by my mother. An old high school friend took pictures. My husband and I then drove off in his vintage V.W. Beetle and spent our honeymoon in Vermont.

The not so good ones aren't really bad. I just wish I hadn't done them. One in particular stands out that has to do with my husband. When we discussed his wedding attire I suggested that he and the guys wear suits. He was more than happy with this arrangement. I also suggested he wear black shoes. My husband looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head no. He hates black shoes. Instead he planned to wear brown ones. Well...I hit the roof. I argued that they wouldn't look right for the photographs and used a number of other excuses I could think of. In the end he relinquished and wore the dreaded shoes. I cringe when I think about it now. Because, in hindsight, it really didn't matter. My advice...pick your battles carefully.

We've been married over XX years. Our wedding has faded into the background of everyday life that makes up our marriage. We've had our share of disappointments and sadness. But we've also had a lot of joy and laughter. Each anniversary together reminds me that I married my best friend.

If we were to get married now...what would I choose?

1. I got married in January between college semesters. What was I thinking? Not to mention it was bitterly cold and we had a terrible blizzard the day of the wedding. Give me a warm day in spring or summer.

2. Skip the formal invitations for handwritten ones. Or have Christine design invitations like she did for our anniversary.

3. No big wedding with half the people I don't even know. I'd plan a small, intimate wedding & reception at home with just family and close friends. I'd serve our favorite foods like my mom's 'Chicken and rice.' Instead of the usual cake I'd have something unexpected.

4. I'd wear only one ring- a vintage band with diamonds c. 1930.

5. My new dress wouldn't be white but a soft blush color accented in black. I love classic ballet flats but with a twist. I'd wear this fun headband. For the romantic in me,  nothing beats a bouquet of fresh roses.

6. Lastly, my husband and I would jump in our old V.W. Beetle and the two of us would take a honeymoon road trip to...anywhere! :)

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