Dear ESB,
You must get asked this a lot, but do you have any suggestions for non-cheesy first dance songs?
*****
I asked The Flashdance (aka Michael Antonia) to field this one. Obv.
He sent this missive from the beach in Mexico:
i do get asked this question a lot and it always makes me uncomfortable. to me it is like asking an artist to paint a picture of you in the dress you will be wearing without ever having seen it (or you!). honestly i would be no better at picking one of the most sentimental songs of your entire life without any more information than your first name! i can give you a bunch of songs that i think are great, which would work, but really they will always be my favorite songs and will likely mean very little to you... my suggestion is to stop thinking about it in terms of a first dance, the way your guests might interpret it, or the lyrical content etc and think of it only as a song that means a lot to you and your fiance.
but, esb didn't ask me to wax philosophical on you, or make you feel bad for not having the right song... she asked me to give you some advice. try this link out. there are 17 songs i chose that i think would make a beautiful first dance (and you can download them all for free!) but do me a favor... drive your car to the end of a dirt road somewhere in the mountains and make out to these songs for a couple of hours before choosing one for your first dance!!!
(Jack Kerouac via FFFFOUND!)
We came down the aisle to This Will Be Our Year and danced to Thirteen, so I have to say I approve of homeboy's list! I made a pretty extensive list of non-cheese dick love songs... if she would like to see it, she can email me and I can pass it on to her... (cdt584@gmail.com)
ReplyDeletesome songs i used at my wedding for sentimental moments: "i found a reason" by cat power, "first day of my life" by bright eyes, "no one's gonna love you" by band of horses, "sweet avenue" by jets to brazil, "sleepwalk" by santo and johnny. some other "great for weddings" songs are: "walk the line" by johnny cash, "something" by the beatles, "fools rush in" by ingrid michaelson, "in your eyes" by peter gabriel, "these arms of mine" by otis redding
ReplyDeleteBUT! like what the flashdance said, make sure whatever songs you end up picking actually mean something to you and your SO and don't pick songs just because others think they are good songs.
There is no such thing as a non-cheesy first dance song. A first dance, by definition, is cheesy. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FAB.
ReplyDeletePersonally I like the ones that get all jazzy and disco half way through, or maybe a sexy tango - it's definately worth learning some moves for this moment - no?
ReplyDeletethis advice is spot-on. and i feel your pain...i hemmed and hawed about this very same thing! finally my husband and i decided that instead of trying to pick a "love song" that has lyrics that "speak to us" we should just pick a song we have always loved.
ReplyDeleteafter changing how we were thinking about it, we almost immediately came up with "don't be shy" by cat stevens. my husband and i both grew up listening to cat stevens with our dads (in my case, we kept his "tea for the tillerman" tape in our truck so whenever my dad and i would go out clearing trails in the woods, taking trash to the dump, etc. we would listen to it. all the songs on that album still bring back memories of "working with dad".)
not only was it our first dance song, but i also walked down the aisle to it. in both instances, our friends played it on their instruments and sang...it was sooo cool to hear such a familiar song played by some of our closest, and very talented, amigos. :)
go with your gut, and pick a song that you'll love the rest of your life, not one that is trendy right now but you'll be sick of in a year. good luck!
As an alternate to making out in the car, we're finding that dancing around the living room is an excellent way to try out our first dance song options. And, after realizing all of our favorite modern songs have terribly depressing lyrics, we're going back to the classics and actually loving them. Trying out first dance songs (with a glass of wine) may actually be the best part of wedding planning so far.
ReplyDelete@A Los Angeles Love practicing our first dance around the (teensy) living room was DEFINITELY one of our favorite parts :)
ReplyDeleteooo ooo ooo i have a whole slew of songs! not to mention real playlists from real weddings! all in a handy dandy blog form! MUSIC LOVERS UNITE!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://hifiweddings.com/
xoxo - ashley
we ended up doing our first dance to my morning jacket's cover of "take my breath away." totally cheesy BUT we love MMJ and the song was fitting. we ended up doing a last song too: tunnels by arcade fire. a slow dance mosh pit was followed by everyone (parents included) bear hugging us while jumping up and down and "ooh-ooh-ooh-ohh-oooohing". awesome.
ReplyDeletei'm hoping to have this for our last dance song, but if you wanted a slow first dance song, "It's Only Time" by the Magnetic Fields makes me insanely stupidly happy. suppose it's somewhat cheesy but it's modern and so beautiful i really don't care about the cheese!
ReplyDeleteI am walking down the isle to "Where is My Love" by Cat Power. We haven't decided what our first dance will be, but we've tried out "Come Live With Me" by Ray Charles, "Exactly Like You" by Nina Simone, and "Comes Love" by Billie Holliday. If I had my way, I think we'd be dancing to "Feeling Good" by Nina. The song is just elating!
ReplyDeleteThe Pogues 'I Love You Till The End'... sweet, romantic and yet nothing syrupy about it. Suited us to a T.
ReplyDeleteI've got it! "Can't Nobody Love You" by Solomon Burke:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpkISbqwpbU
Talk to your fiance about what kind of music you like, and from there, what - if any - kind of dancing you do. Do you love cheesy 80s ballads? Country music? Jazz-era crooners? Classic rock? Top 40 teeny-bop music? What is your radio dial tuned to on a regular basis?
ReplyDeleteThen go from there.
C and I are a bit at odds with music - he prefers obscure, whereas I prefer mainstream. We agreed to Let's Fall in Love, but the Diana Krall version as opposed to the more popular/mainstream Sinatra version. I also had the DJ play my grandparents' wedding song (Unforgettable) shortly after the first dance.
Hate to be totally un-sentimental, but my hubby isn't much of a dancer and neither of us wanted the spotlight on us for too long so we went for Adam Sandler's song on the plane at the end of The Wedding Singer! I think it turned out to be 1min19sec and it was just hilarious when everyone in the room started singing along at the "when you've had too much to drink" line ;o)
ReplyDeleteI guess we looked at it as the start of party time, the sentimental song of the day was when I walked down the aisle: Norah Jones, Come Away With Me (we had a destination wedding), after that we went upbeat & fun!
Go for something that moves you emotionally and that you'll be comfortable dancing to when all eyes are on you.
Just saw this, thanks for all of the ideas! We have decided to stick with "our" song which happens to be bob marley's "three little birds" only we're going to have a friend sing it and play guitar. The song just means a lot to us (an inside joke from a hilarious trip to jamaica when we first started dating) Everyone kept telling me that it isn't a "traditional" dance song, but I don't care. Thanks guys! Some of these other suggestions will be great ceremony stuff, because we're kind of stuck there.
ReplyDeleteI commented on the other blog too but we're thinking "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Netural Milk Hotel. Yeah, the whole concept album is about Anne Frank and all, but still. The theremin in that song makes everything wonderful, and on its own, the lyrics are perfect.
ReplyDeleteIf we go bonkers, we might even have our officiant play it on accordion. WE'LL SEE. Our recessional song is "Friday, I'm in Love", and has officially turned my mom onto The Cure. There is no turning back from this point.
I'm posting this way too late, but maybe other readers looking for a first dance song will care - my fiance and I could find lyrics that we really like so we chose a French song that we love : "Au Fond D'un Reve Dore." The lyrics are a little trite, but it's a sweet sound and perfect for a slow waltz, or faking a slow waltz which is what we will probably do. I translated the lyrics if the words are important to you.
ReplyDelete