Chill out, she's telling folks its a casual affair and the spreadsheet is there to say, *no, srsly* to people like my mom who would be like, "are you sure your father doesn't have to wear a tie? isn't a wedding? i don't know about this, are other people going to dress up"
I hate stuff like this! My father, who feels very uncomfortable wearing anything but a suit when he leaves the house, was invited to a wedding like this recently. "No suits, no ties, no black, no heels." The poor guy felt like he was dressed to work in the yard the whole time. Telling your guests that a wedding will be casual is fine, but telling them what they can and can't where is ridiculous.
huh? i love heels and ties. how can she tell me they are a bad idea to wear to a wedding!? seriously. it makes me wanna wear ALL of the bad ideas at the same time.
Heres what we said on our website "Black-tie optional (Semiformal or Creative Black-tie welcome)" + a link to this helpful little table (in case anyone was confused)
I think it's a little tacky, but the overall idea is funny. It's a not-so-good way to encourage people to step outside the box of traditional wedding attire. In theory, it's good as are her intentions, I assume. But whether you're making your guests feel obligated to dress fancier or more casual, forcing anything upon them is a bad idea.
what a faux-hippie. seriously- she's trying to come off as "don't dress up or care what you look like" when she REALLY REALLY cares what you look like.
if you wan't people to wear what makes them happy, just leave it at that- black tie or birkenstocks. if you have a freaky lord of the rings garb requirement, come out and say it!
I wouldn't be offended by this. And I doubt that her guests would be either, because it is likely that they already know about her medieval obsession - but they won't truly feel obligated to show up dressed in a costume - hence, "wear clothes that make you feel comfortable"
LOL...the comment about hippies with spreadsheets being frightening made me laugh out loud at work!!! I say if you want a casual wedding say so and leave it at that...no birks, no hawaian shirts :P
Really folks?! I think you're being a little too easily offended by this. Take the tie for example, she (assuming is a girl) says you shouldn't wear one *that makes you feel uncomfortable*. So if you're most comfortable in one, great! Go for it! As for the heels, that's not ridiculous either. I recommended against them at my wedding because you were pretty much asking for broken ankles if you wore them. It sounds to me like a similar situation here. I'd say chill out a bit on this one.
i concur, ESB. this is up there with brides who tell their attendants to wear whatever they want and then bitch about what they choose.
also, once and for all? if you're into them, high heels are fucking fun. they're not a political decision, not something The Man is forcing down your throat. wear them or don't wear them, as long as we don't have to talk about them.
I don't know where to begin. I love how she is trying to be all cool and chill but actually she is a fucking Nazi. why doesn't she hand out costumes as people enter the church. fuck her and fuck anon.
I told guests that they couldn't wear seersucker and they acted like I had lost my mind. (Not that any of them had planned to in the first place. I also advised against stilletos. There were a lot of uneven, hilly ground and grass. I think the switch to wedges saved a few medical emergencies.
Huh. I wear 'court garb' to work five days a week (albeit not starched or boned because I am a lazy sod), and would take that over brikenstocks anyday.
I get where it was going, but surely letting word get around that it was a casual event with 'no tie required' would have done the trick?
I stand by my theory that people can get their cues on what to wear based on a. what they already know about you and b. your invites, venue, etc. Obviously a formal, engraved invite sends a different cue than say, something beachy and fun. I don't feel like this bride is giving her guests a lot of credit.
At least she didn't suggest Crocs. I'd rather go naked than wear Crocs.
What's with the summer dress pants over a summer dress? If there's going to be eating and boozing involved, I'd much rather be wearing a dress that doesn't restrict my beer gut!
i kinda think it's funny ! its not serious, right ? i mean, what if i have the PERFECT high heels to go with my hawaiian shirt ? DUDE THE WORD HAWAIIAN IS CRAZY.
In my opinion, I am not sure this is the best way to let people know what to wear to your wedding. I mean everyone has a different definition for what is comfortable to them. But on the other hand if taken in a jokingly manner it could be a fun way to convey the dress code.
I am not even sure how to take this, or all the crazy comments. While I do think the idea is cute and encourages comfort, I think it MIGHT be confusing to guests. I mean, are you kidding? Or for reals? Do you REALLY want me to show up in my stripey Old Navy sleepy pants and ripped up NYC Police Department shirt? Cuz that's what I am most comfortable in. It's just sort weird, right?
Guys didn't you read the bit that says 'suggestions'. They're trying to help people here with the confusion of what to wear to a not-entirely-traditional wedding. They suggest you wear what feels good (they're not telling you what that is, for cripes sake!) as long as it's not too formal. Even if they missed the aim of trying to clear up confusion and only made it worse, I read this as just trying to be helpful. Why read the worst into things?
We're having an outdoor wedding in the fall in northern WI (in other words, it will be chilly.) So our invites and website say the dress code is "Northwoods Semi-Formal", meaning folks should dress up, but also be prepared for the weather.
We got several phonecalls from guests, asking for a little more guidence...in retrospect I wish we had given them some more detailed attire "suggestions" on our wedding website.
However, I would never take it so far as to tell people what NOT to wear!! I could care less if someone shows up in a ballgown and heels...it's their problem and they knew darn well that is not the most practical attire to choose, but it's up to them if that's what makes them feel sexy!
We made "stronger" suggestions for attire to our close family and bridal party members, because we wanted to avoid a situation where 9 out of 10 ppl in the group photo are wearing something nice that fits the "feel" of the wedding, and the 10th person is wearing a hot pink mess, or something. :)
I wouldn't take this too seriously. I mean, the person included a spinning bow tie in there. Meaning its telling people to lighten up on their attire! So lighten up on the critiques!
This makes me want to vom!
ReplyDeleteI think its cute and that you are not very nice. Subscription ended.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the nice thing about hippies is the absence of spreadsheets. Hippies with spreadsheets = SHUDDER.
ReplyDeleteI just found it all a little confusing to be honest. And not entirely sure of the point.
ReplyDeleteI think it's disgusting and that people should never wear birkenstocks to a wedding. Also, anonymous is stupid. Grow some balls and post your name.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a dick. Very RULES CONTROL THE FUN.
ReplyDeleteChill out, she's telling folks its a casual affair and the spreadsheet is there to say, *no, srsly* to people like my mom who would be like, "are you sure your father doesn't have to wear a tie? isn't a wedding? i don't know about this, are other people going to dress up"
ReplyDeleteI hate stuff like this! My father, who feels very uncomfortable wearing anything but a suit when he leaves the house, was invited to a wedding like this recently. "No suits, no ties, no black, no heels." The poor guy felt like he was dressed to work in the yard the whole time. Telling your guests that a wedding will be casual is fine, but telling them what they can and can't where is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteWhat if a "nod to [my] 'medieval roots'" makes me uncomfortable and doesn't let my personality shine through?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous I regret to inform you that I cannot offer a refund at this time.
ReplyDeleteI like a casual affair, but if I received this I would have a complete anxiety attack about what the hell to do.
ReplyDeleteIn no way do I find this offensive, I just think it's intimidating.
huh? i love heels and ties.
ReplyDeletehow can she tell me they are a bad idea to wear to a wedding!?
seriously.
it makes me wanna wear ALL of the bad ideas at the same time.
lol, this is funny.
ReplyDeleteHeres what we said on our website
"Black-tie optional
(Semiformal or Creative Black-tie welcome)"
+ a link to this helpful little table (in case anyone was confused)
ps:
ReplyDeletethe good thing about birenstock people is usually :
that they don't make stupid rules and don't tell others what to do!
Because this rules are the most ultra-extra dry cleaned, highly starched and make me feel very uncomfortable.
I think it's a little tacky, but the overall idea is funny. It's a not-so-good way to encourage people to step outside the box of traditional wedding attire. In theory, it's good as are her intentions, I assume. But whether you're making your guests feel obligated to dress fancier or more casual, forcing anything upon them is a bad idea.
ReplyDeletemaybe the website link would be useful to paste into my post...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.emilypost.com/everyday-manners/your-personal-image/69-attire-guide-beach-casual-to-white-tie-
what a faux-hippie. seriously- she's trying to come off as "don't dress up or care what you look like" when she REALLY REALLY cares what you look like.
ReplyDeleteif you wan't people to wear what makes them happy, just leave it at that- black tie or birkenstocks. if you have a freaky lord of the rings garb requirement, come out and say it!
I wouldn't be offended by this. And I doubt that her guests would be either, because it is likely that they already know about her medieval obsession - but they won't truly feel obligated to show up dressed in a costume - hence, "wear clothes that make you feel comfortable"
ReplyDeleteLOL...the comment about hippies with spreadsheets being frightening made me laugh out loud at work!!! I say if you want a casual wedding say so and leave it at that...no birks, no hawaian shirts :P
ReplyDeletemy rsvp: REGRETFULLY DECLINES
ReplyDeleteReally folks?! I think you're being a little too easily offended by this.
ReplyDeleteTake the tie for example, she (assuming is a girl) says you shouldn't wear one *that makes you feel uncomfortable*. So if you're most comfortable in one, great! Go for it!
As for the heels, that's not ridiculous either. I recommended against them at my wedding because you were pretty much asking for broken ankles if you wore them. It sounds to me like a similar situation here.
I'd say chill out a bit on this one.
Ditto to CaitStClair.
ReplyDeleteHere is a fantastic idea: wear whatever the fuck you want.
ReplyDeletei concur, ESB. this is up there with brides who tell their attendants to wear whatever they want and then bitch about what they choose.
ReplyDeletealso, once and for all? if you're into them, high heels are fucking fun. they're not a political decision, not something The Man is forcing down your throat. wear them or don't wear them, as long as we don't have to talk about them.
if anon thinks THIS post is your bitchiest, where the hell has she been all this time?
ReplyDeleteditto lauren. i frickin love wearing heels.
the thought of Birkenstocks at a wedding just sent (bad) chills up my spine. and I'm from the Bay Area.
ReplyDeleteI don't know where to begin. I love how she is trying to be all cool and chill but actually she is a fucking Nazi. why doesn't she hand out costumes as people enter the church. fuck her and fuck anon.
ReplyDeleteBUH-LERGH.
ReplyDeleteI told guests that they couldn't wear seersucker and they acted like I had lost my mind. (Not that any of them had planned to in the first place. I also advised against stilletos. There were a lot of uneven, hilly ground and grass. I think the switch to wedges saved a few medical emergencies.
ReplyDeleteHuh. I wear 'court garb' to work five days a week (albeit not starched or boned because I am a lazy sod), and would take that over brikenstocks anyday.
ReplyDeleteI get where it was going, but surely letting word get around that it was a casual event with 'no tie required' would have done the trick?
I stand by my theory that people can get their cues on what to wear based on a. what they already know about you and b. your invites, venue, etc. Obviously a formal, engraved invite sends a different cue than say, something beachy and fun. I don't feel like this bride is giving her guests a lot of credit.
ReplyDeleteAt least she didn't suggest Crocs. I'd rather go naked than wear Crocs.
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the summer dress pants over a summer dress? If there's going to be eating and boozing involved, I'd much rather be wearing a dress that doesn't restrict my beer gut!
Anytime the word "garb" is invoked unironically or ahistorically, there's a problem.
ReplyDeletei kinda think it's funny ! its not serious, right ? i mean, what if i have the PERFECT high heels to go with my hawaiian shirt ? DUDE THE WORD HAWAIIAN IS CRAZY.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I am not sure this is the best way to let people know what to wear to your wedding. I mean everyone has a different definition for what is comfortable to them. But on the other hand if taken in a jokingly manner it could be a fun way to convey the dress code.
ReplyDeleteI am not even sure how to take this, or all the crazy comments.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do think the idea is cute and encourages comfort, I think it MIGHT be confusing to guests. I mean, are you kidding? Or for reals? Do you REALLY want me to show up in my stripey Old Navy sleepy pants and ripped up NYC Police Department shirt? Cuz that's what I am most comfortable in.
It's just sort weird, right?
Guys didn't you read the bit that says 'suggestions'. They're trying to help people here with the confusion of what to wear to a not-entirely-traditional wedding. They suggest you wear what feels good (they're not telling you what that is, for cripes sake!) as long as it's not too formal. Even if they missed the aim of trying to clear up confusion and only made it worse, I read this as just trying to be helpful. Why read the worst into things?
ReplyDeletea) I think she definitely missed the mark
ReplyDeleteb) Birkenstocks are never okay
c) There are god intentions behind it, so I don't find it offensive
Ah, I mean GOOD intentions, not god ones.
ReplyDeleteWe're having an outdoor wedding in the fall in northern WI (in other words, it will be chilly.) So our invites and website say the dress code is "Northwoods Semi-Formal", meaning folks should dress up, but also be prepared for the weather.
ReplyDeleteWe got several phonecalls from guests, asking for a little more guidence...in retrospect I wish we had given them some more detailed attire "suggestions" on our wedding website.
However, I would never take it so far as to tell people what NOT to wear!! I could care less if someone shows up in a ballgown and heels...it's their problem and they knew darn well that is not the most practical attire to choose, but it's up to them if that's what makes them feel sexy!
We made "stronger" suggestions for attire to our close family and bridal party members, because we wanted to avoid a situation where 9 out of 10 ppl in the group photo are wearing something nice that fits the "feel" of the wedding, and the 10th person is wearing a hot pink mess, or something. :)
Word.
ReplyDeleteThe hubby's take: "She can tear my suit-shoes* from my cold, dead feet."
*His fave black patent-leather lace-ups -- ROWR. He's a carpenter and normally wears dusty Carharts, so he's all over any chance to dress up.
I wouldn't take this too seriously. I mean, the person included a spinning bow tie in there. Meaning its telling people to lighten up on their attire! So lighten up on the critiques!
ReplyDeleteNo tie.
ReplyDeletebadum ching
HAWAIIAN SHIRT WTF?
ReplyDelete