Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I miss being anonymous. I mean really anonymous. I can't bitch about anything that's actually going on in my life because I never know who's gonna read the blog.
For example, H-town would probably get really pissed if I told you that he yelled at me for throwing away some really manky sliced turkey from Whole Foods because I've been trying to save money by doing most of the grocery shopping at Trader Joe's. WTF does one thing have to do with other? I should get food poisoning from some turkey that was manufacturing its own glue right there on the wax paper just because it happened to be overpriced when I bought it??
Anyhoo. From here on out you can find me at crymeariver.blogspot.com
Image courtesy of Yimmys Yayo
Monday, March 29, 2010
How can you mend a broken heart?
dear esb.
it was my/our plan to end the LDR and for me to give up my apartment/studio/city in berlin to come to london. i did, got rid of everything, moved in to my parents for few weeks (now turned into months, eeeeeeeeeeeek) to leave some furniture here, save rent for the moving. then: BANG my boy left me.
soooo i am still going.
1. it's a cool city!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. it will be good/better for my business
3. i want challenges
4. i want to meet NEW people and places and everything
5. improve my english to EXCELLENT
6. because of number 1.
after really bad weeks, feeling like shit (i really felt this was it and now I have to replace all the pics in the head), spring arrived and i really want to start my new life. I am 26...as you said, still time to find mr. ridiculous crazy hot right.
so. anything you wise lady want to tell me!?
liv x
*****
Lady,
All I have to say, really, is you're doing the right thing. Absolutely and without a doubt. You will only meet Mr. Ridiculous Crazy Hot when you're not looking for him.
I didn't meet H-town until I was 32. I had just ended a three-year relationship in NYC, I moved to LA to enroll in grad school and start a new life, and I was not looking for a boyfriend. I swear to god he could smell it on me. There is nothing men find hotter than a confident woman doing her own thing.
love love love,
ESB
p.s. Fuck that guy. Erase those pics in your head and don't look back.
(Image of a Liv dress in progress via be blushless)
Friday, March 26, 2010
Who needs to be tipped?
Hello East Side Bride!
I'm getting married in July this year, and my mom asked me to figure out who needs to be tipped so we can be ready, cash in hand, the day of. Everywhere you look it says "Tip your vendors," but what is appropriate? Obviously, catering/waitstaff gets tipped, but what about the photographer, DJ, doorman? I want to make sure everyone is thanked for their hard work, but don't want to look like an a*@hole with a lousy tip. Is asking your vendor, straight up, what's typical a bad idea? Does that scream IDIOT Bride?
-Ashley
*****
I asked three vendors to help me with this one. Because what the f*ck do I know about tipping? Srsly.
Here's what they had to say.
Heather Gilson of One Love Photo (pictured above with husband/partner Jon Almeda):
Out of the 30 weddings we do a year we probably get a tip from 5-10 couples. Our packages range from $4,000-6,000 and most tip around $200-$300. They usually write a sweet card too. We don't expect it at all but really, really, really appreciate it when someone does tip us. If tipping is for services then really the photographer should be getting tipped because our business is 100% service based but I just don't think it's the norm (so we don't expect it). We have had couples that wait to see the photos and then send us a thank you tip in the mail a month or two after the wedding (which is really cool). She should just do what feels right, keeping in mind that keeping your artistic wedding elves fed and happy is always a good thing for everyone :)
Michael Antonia (aka The Flashdance):
i don't think it is standard practice to tip your dj... some coordinators tell their brides that they should and i can count on tips when working with those coordinators, but i never expect it, or feel slighted when it doesn't happen. if i were you i would set aside tips for each vendor but only give them out if you feel they have earned it. if your dj is amazing and keeps people dancing, makes your announcements, plays well to the audience, and doesn't text message during your wedding, etc a $100 tip would be very generous, less than $50 would be (in your words) "a lousy tip" but anything is better than nothing right? i don't think there is a standard, i have been tipped $500, i have been tipped $20, i have not been tipped at all (this is most common) and i don't think my performance played a part in those decisions.
Emily of Emily Thompson Flowers:
I have been on the receiving end of various approaches to tipping your vendors. Brides can sometimes forget when adding up all their bills that they are receiving really specialized custom services from often under-appreciated artisans and schleppers who are extremely skilled and work their fingers to the bone. We've all known about the wedding-industrial-complex for longer that we can remember and been taught to mistrust anyone in the industry as price-inflating snake-oil salesmen. As a member of that very business, I can't say that this isn't sometimes true, but I and many vendors I know are scrupulous and fair, and try to pass on cost cutting measures to all of our clients, no matter how big their budgets.
I always say that the best policy with the staff of your wedding, from planners to sweeper-uppers is that you should be kind and respectful, and tip if you like. I like to be able to give my staff a tip from the client, they are always glad that their work was appreciated. But the most important thing is that every bride and groom will get better work out of their vendors--more attention to detail, more desire to make the client's every wish come true--if they are decent to work with. Nobody throws freebies at bridezillas. I think everyone I work with will agree that this kind of etiquette is more crucial than tipping.
That said, ask your vendors. Nothing says "brilliant bride" better than direct, polite questions.
(Images by One Love Photo, Instant Dong, Lisa Vollmer)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Mr. Larkin gets me every time.
Organic cotton + hemp blend jersey, secured at the back with recycled ribbon from the early 1900's.
And what is going on with that necklace?? I'm pretty sure it's exactly what Buhdoop has been looking for.
I don't see a link to buy the Leia dress online, but if you visit Mr. Larkin's site you'll find a list of brick and mortar shops in CA, OR, TX and Calgary. Or you could even (gasp) email him.
welcome to my summer wardrobe
I've been obsessing about this dress for months, so when I went over to the Alexander Wang site to visit it on Monday and I noticed that the stock was dwindling, I decided to just fucking bite the bullet already and order it (in black, obv). I'm calling it an early birthday present to myself.
Last summer I sweltered, desperately scouring ebay for the perfect t-shirt dress that I never found. Sometimes it's worth paying full price to get exactly what you're looking for. And I am gonna wear this baby every day. With flip flops. With wedges. With my new docs.
Available in grey and black at Alexander Wang (sizes limited), in white at Oak, and in black at Creatures of Comfort.*
*If I may put in a word for the ladies of Creatures of Comfort... Yesterday cevd and I went into the store on Melrose and I tried on the dress (which is even better than I'd hoped) just to be sure I ordered the right size from AW. I obsessed. I made them pull sizes out of the back. They even looked up AW's return policy for me before I decided the dress I ordered was the right size after all and didn't buy anything from them. They could not have been cooler.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Christians are people too
Hey Jill,
Thanks for responding on the blog today.
I worry that my advice was a little flip, but honestly what I meant was: Go with your gut! Get on with your life together! And hearing more of your story just reinforced that for me. I hoped it helped to hear from other women who did the city hall thing too. Obviously, your religion is your own f*cking business. SHEESH.
Keep us posted will you? (I'd love to see photos from city hall and/or the big wedding if you feel like sending any.)
Love,
ESB
*****
Dear ESB,
Thanks for responding. It was nice to hear someone else's input on the matter, many readers' input in fact. I am woman who is familiar with people judging my ideas. For my wedding day I have opted not to have paper wedding invites, call my women "bridesmaids" or have my wedding in a church. We are getting married on my (bought it myself, no man, no co-signer) 140 acre property next to the pond where my fiance proposed. My pet pig Tula will be walking down the aisle along with our three dogs. Our reception is in a 200 year old barn that was converted into a playhouse (which I rented for free, we just need to dust). This is not your mother's wedding.
The decision to get legally married ahead of time was three-fold. One, we are stoked to be married. Two, we want to live together and have sex. Three, it makes a lot of financial sense because he is in the military.
I will send you photos very soon because our engagement shoot is actually going to be (psych!) the photos from our legal wedding ceremony. Aside from the readers of ESB and a few friends we aren't announcing our legal marriage in case we are met with more opposition.
I've never understood why everyone want things, especially weddings, to be done the way they have been done before. I am an avid (avid!!) reader of wedding blogs and I feel like brides are finally getting this, things don't have to be any particular way, only the way that makes sense to you. I think as long as you are respectful of your guests (don't make your gramma sit on a cactus plant) then you should have free reign for your day.
It was awesome that you posted my email and I was so happy to hear all the feedback, even the comments about us trying to escape hell by getting legally married. I love your website and I will be a faithful reader long after my wedding day.
I have attached a few photos of my pre-wedding life. Enjoy!
Jill
eco-chic little wedding dress
Leanimal (aka Leanne Marshall) is taking advance orders for the dani dress, which will be available in mid-April. I kind of love how it's just a wee scrap of a thing... But carefully structured underneath.
With that Birth of Venus hair, I'm feeling these fringe-y Sigerson Morrison sandals.*
(Photo by Anna Wolf)
*If you only spend $575 on the dress, $425 shoes are totally reasonable.
Monday, March 22, 2010
the thin line
I'm digging these new wedding bands from Bittersweets NY. It's hard to find rings for men that are masculine without looking like titanium washers or something.
15% off through April 2nd!
HOW CAN I NOT POST THIS PHOTO?
Srsly.
I dunno what it is with me and little funny faced dogs lately but if H doesn't stop working these shit-ass hours he's gonna come home and find me with one.
Image courtesy of The Blah, Blah, Blahg... (Incidentally, if you need to know HOW TO GET YOUR DOG OFF THE SOFA, Miss B can tell you.)
Friday, March 19, 2010
DEAR ESB: Is it "unmagical" to get legally married before the wedding?
My fiance and I are both old school Christians who want to wait until we get married to live together/get it on. We are also very excited about being man and wife. We have decided to get legally married this month even though our wedding isn't until August. My parents think that this will make our wedding "unmagical." I disagree because most couples live together, have sex and are legally common-law until their weddings and I would guess they would think their weddings were very magical. Am I insane for breaking the "way to do things" or are my parents just being stubborn?
Jill
*****
Do it.
The wedding-night sex will be a whole lot more "magical" if you've had a little practice.
(Kate Moss, Vogue UK April 2010 via tobaccoandleather)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Let's hear it for old sweaters
Last night H told me, "You're like an old sweater and a new car at the same time."
I melt.
Dries Van Noten via 2 or 3 things i know
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
DEAR ESB: my boyfriend won't get married until EVERYONE can get married
i have been dating my lovely boyfriend for almost three years now. we have a happy, wonderful relationship and talk often of our future together. we are both 22 and now that we are out of college and living together we have started to discuss the idea of marriage. however, he doesn't want to get married until everyone in the US can marry the person of their choosing. i agree that it is incredibly backward and unfair that many people in our country cannot marry their partners simply because they happen to be of the same sex. but while his strong convictions are one of the reasons i love him so much, i feel kind of differently about it. i want to get married! not now, but i'm also not sure if i want to wait until our country wakes up and allows everyone to marry freely. so, what do i do? what do you think?
-a
*****
Obviously, every human person should have the right to marry whomever he or she chooses. But I don't think that's the issue at stake here.
You're twenty-two. Way too young to get married. You and your boyfriend should be traveling the world together, working your asses off in your respective jobs, breaking up and getting back together again* and figuring your shit out. What's the rush?
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is hiding behind his political convictions because he's afraid to tell you he's not ready. When he wants to marry you, he will marry you, whether we happen to be living in a democratic utopia or under a right-wing dictatorship.
*Or not. My college boyfriend was an absolute doll, but I'm glad I'm not married to him.
(Photo of January Jones and Jon Hamm by Annie Leibovitz courtesy of Vanity Fair. EDIT: How stoked am I that Mad Men starts up again on Sunday? STOKED.**)
**Update: I am not that stoked for reruns. WHEN IS SEASON FOUR GONNA AIR?**
-a
*****
Obviously, every human person should have the right to marry whomever he or she chooses. But I don't think that's the issue at stake here.
You're twenty-two. Way too young to get married. You and your boyfriend should be traveling the world together, working your asses off in your respective jobs, breaking up and getting back together again* and figuring your shit out. What's the rush?
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is hiding behind his political convictions because he's afraid to tell you he's not ready. When he wants to marry you, he will marry you, whether we happen to be living in a democratic utopia or under a right-wing dictatorship.
*Or not. My college boyfriend was an absolute doll, but I'm glad I'm not married to him.
(Photo of January Jones and Jon Hamm by Annie Leibovitz courtesy of Vanity Fair. EDIT: How stoked am I that Mad Men starts up again on Sunday? STOKED.**)
**Update: I am not that stoked for reruns. WHEN IS SEASON FOUR GONNA AIR?**
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I am a person who makes muffins
I don't mean to brag... But on Sunday I made muffins for, like, the second time in two weeks. I whipped up* Rachel's lemon-ginger muffins (using a mixture of chickpea flour, corn flour, cornstarch and tapioca flour in place of the dreaded wheat flour) and H-town dubbed them World's Best Muffins.
Hey, we don't get to eat baked goods very often. I think I'd actually forgotten how good baked goods are.
(Image via FFFFOUND!)
*And by whipped up, I mean: preheated the oven, chopped ginger and cooked it up with sugar, realized I didn't have any eggs, walked to Vons, bought eggs along with party size bag of barbecue potato chips, and proceeded with recipe while I ate barbecue chips dipped in ranch dressing. The butter for the muffins got nice and soft while I dilly-dallyed, which made for super easy hand-mixing. Who needs a KitchenAid?
Monday, March 15, 2010
Blog of the Week: six orange carrots
I don't get the whole chicken craze.* I really don't. It may have something to do with the fact that my dad had chickens when I was a kid and I was scared of them. Until I figured out that they were really pretty boring.
And vegetable gardens? Again, ho-hum.
BUT, a blog dedicated to a very small chicken named Pocket? And a blogger who claims that vegetable gardening will redeem her wedding?? That is just good reading, people.
(Custom image by paperjo)
*This article by Susan Orlean about her own chicken fixation is actually a lot cooler than the Times Magazine one, but you have to subscribe to the New Yorker to read it.
DEAR ESB: How can I keep the guest list under 50?
I am getting married this October, here on the eastside of LA. My boy and I are keeping it small, low-key, and somewhat cheap. We are trying to keep the guest list to under 50 people. The question is, how do you choose who not to invite? If I do not like my cousins, do I have to invite them? Do I have to invite high-school friends who I do like, and who invited me to their weddings, but who I do not talk to very often? Do I have to invite people I hang out with here in LA who are buddies but not besties? I have no idea where to draw the line and how best not to offend people.
Also, since most people live on the east coast which might already discourage them from attending due to the cost of flying, hotels, etc., do you think it is tacky to send an invite, but let them know I do not expect them to attend? Is there a graceful way to do this?
-Cypress Park Bride
*****
Dear CPB,
I LOVE THIS QUESTION. 50 is the perfect number (and I'm not just saying that because we had 50 people at our wedding).
Here's the trick: Only invite the people you really want to hang out with. If you don't like your cousins, don't invite them. If you don't see those high school friends very often and you don't feel like making fucking small talk at your wedding, don't invite them. Don't worry about reciprocating every wedding invitation you've ever received. All you have to say to anyone who asks is "We're keeping it really small."
Repeat after me: "We're keeping it really small." No apologies necessary.
There is no graceful way to send an wedding invitation to someone while simultaneously conveying the message that you don't really want them to come.
xoxo,
ESB
(Still image from The Lost Things via mint)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Spring Cleaning
You guys? I'm doing away with my crusty old blogroll.
It's been nagging at me for a while now. There are just too many blogs I dig for me to pick favorites, and ignoring the blogroll (I.E. never updating it) was not a solution.
PHEW. That felt good
Maybe I'll follow Chelsea's lead and start featuring the occasional blog of the week. Maybe.
p.s. Cevd is doing some actual spring cleaning. Anyone want a yudu?
(Another William Eggleston photo found here)
F* the portraits
In case you thought I was full of shit when I said your wedding is not a photo shoot.... Check out what A Los Angeles Love has to say about wedding portraits.
Image by William Eggleston via me melodia (my unofficial curator). This is the face I make when you go in for a portrait.
DEAR ESB: How do you get readers?
Now that I've started a blog, I'm realizing garnering a readership is not an easy task. I spend a lot of time and energy on the blog, but I don't want to turn out like this dude, if you catch my drift.
I'm not doing this to monetize, but blogging is a two-way conversation and right now I think I'm mostly talking to myself. Which leads to my questions: how long did it take you to get a readership going and how do you get readers? Do you have to go to find readers or is it more of a matter of having good content & readers will find you? If it's the latter, how do you know you're heading in the right/wrong direction if no one's commenting? How do you encourage people to share ideas, engage, and ask questions?
Ann
*****
I blogged for several months before I had any readers, and it was almost a year before I saw a significant spike. I dunno if that will make you feel better or worse.
Here's the best piece of advice I can give you: comment on other blogs. And say more than "Oooh! Pretty!" Have an opinion. If your comments are helpful or funny or even snarky, people will click through to your blog. Don't wait around for them to find you -- you need to give em a trail.
Don't try to force reader engagement. Just write good stuff. Write posts that you would like to read. And don't be afraid to have an opinion. (Did I say that already?)
Image via Yimmys Yayo. Where else do I get disco balls?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Would you get married in a PLAYSUIT?
I'm kind of pissed off about net-a-porter's new wedding boutique. The thrill of the chase is gone. I mean, thanks for pulling out everything white and fucking categorizing it for me. Now I have to decide if I want to shop Bohemian (read: Sandal-wearing) Bride or Fashion Forward (read: Pant-wearing) Bride.
But srsly. Would you get married in this fashion forward Rick Owens playsuit? I have to admit, I kind of love it. Am I just a sucker for the shit that's styled with black shoes??
Monday, March 8, 2010
DEAR ESB: Can I ask my friends to camp?
hey ESB:
what are your thoughts on camping? a good friend of mine is having a camping wedding, and i'm less than psyched about it. i hate sounding so crankypants about it, but i'm flying across the country to attend, and then flying out early on sunday morning. my soon to be husband is telling me to get over it. i think my friend and i have different ideas about what it means to be a host, and quite frankly, i want a private bathroom and a roof over my head.
maura
*****
Yeah, no. I have no problem with camping. Maybe one day H and I will even manage a real camping trip (instead of hightailing it to the nearest coffee shop the first morning because we're too lazy to build a fucking fire, and then checking into the Madonna Inn because hello, it's the Madonna Inn).
But expecting your guests to fly across the country WITH GEAR, pitch tents, and primp for your wedding without running water, electricity or proper mirrors? That is just cruel. I mean, IS THE BRIDE GETTING READY IN A TENT?
As Anonymous put it: "Camping weddings sound fun... until you actually experience them. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the ones I've been too have turned into messes. Bathrooms become a huge issue and people get all crankypants." [Note the preponderance of the word crankypants.] Maybe the photos from weddings like this have given some of us* an overly romantic notion of what a "camping wedding" is really like?
Anyhoo, if there are cheapass/intrepid people who wanna camp, awesome. But it's inconsiderate to throw a wedding where camping is the only option.
(Woodsman Menagerie by Oh My Cavalier via Citrus Hearts)
*Me included. I am not immune to the hype.
Dear ESB: Can I ask my friends to stay in a nasty hotel?
So, our wedding is on a tight tight budget. We are SO lucky to have my parents' very awesome ranch/property as our wedding location for every reason (saving money that barely exists, freedom to do what damn ever, etc.) The one issue that perhaps I'm making a bigger issue than necessary- it's a VERY rural little redneck town in the middle of NOWHERE, and the hotels that we and all our friends would have to stay at are nasty. I mean, not completely ghetto, but like, holiday inn express or la quinta inn. I don't want to sound like a dick- I know we'll be leaving not long after on a sweet ass honeymoon anyway, and I'm not a hotel snob at all, but is it weird for other people to be requested to stay in these little dumps? And am I going to end up caring that night that we're in some stiff not comfy bed in a janky hotel room for our first night of wedded bliss?
-a fellow east side bride
*****
Dear FESB,
I don't want to sound like a bitch, but you are definitely a hotel snob.
Count your blessings. The Holiday Inn Express and La Quinta are not dumps. (I have stayed in some dumps.) You're not asking anyone to camp, for fuck's sake. And I have a feeling that if you're planning a wedding on a "tight tight budget," you've got friends living on tight tight budgets who will be thankful they don't have to shell out $500/night for rooms in some douchebag luxury hotel.*
On your first night of wedded bliss, you will be so fucking glad to be married you won't give a shit about the hotel room. I promise.
xoxo,
ESB
Photo by Alexi Lubomirski for Vogue Germany via {a glamorous little side project}
*Okaaaaaaaaay. I like luxury hotels too. Sure, it would be nice to have the option. But srsly, your friends + fam love you. They really really aren't gonna mind.
Friday, March 5, 2010
custom wedding invitations by Jezebel
Wild/playful/uber-chic-but-in-a-low-key-made-in-Brooklyn-kind-of-way....
Peruse ilovejezebel for inspiration and then feel free to email her directly.
p.s. hello...ANTLERS!!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
If you're on the fence about eloping...
Go directly to Lillian and Leonard.
If you're knee-deep in wedplanning and you're completely stressed out about your dress and your shoes and your veil/headpiece, not to mention the dj and the catering and your fucking family, I'm sorry I brought it up. It probably won't help you to look at Jane and Warrick's photos.
Dear ESB: Should I hire an inexperienced wedding photographer?
I have a friend who happens to be a very talented photographer. He and another very talented photographer friend of his are starting a wedding photography business and are willing to shoot my wedding on the cheap because my friend would only charge me travel expenses. This means we'd get great photographers shooting all day for less than one so-so photographer shooting for fewer hours. Awesome, right? Right.
However, before I figuratively sign on the dotted line, I can't help but wonder if it makes any difference that they don't have experience shooting weddings. I worry that they won't know how to approach the event and ultimately fail to deliver the breathtaking photos I dream of. Do you think it will make a difference? Is there anything I can do to make sure they're totally ready?
-J
*****
Will your "very talented" photographer friend and his "very talented" photographer friend take good wedding photos? Maybe. But the fact that you make a point of mentioning that they are both very talented makes me think you're working hard to convince yourself that they are. This concerns me too: "I worry that they won't know how to approach the event and will ultimately fail to deliver [FAIL TO DELIVER?!] the breathtaking photos I dream of." You sound like a neurotic production manager. If I were your friend, no way would I want to shoot your wedding.
You need to decide what your priorities are. If you want "breathtaking photos" and you will have a hissy fit if you don't get them, find someone with a breathtaking portfolio. Not a so-so portfolio, a breathtaking portfolio. (Whatever that means to you.) Short of sending these guys off to shoot a bunch of other weddings before they shoot your wedding, there's not much you can do to prep them. There's a reason you're getting them on the cheap.
The other option is to take a deep breath, remind yourself that your wedding is not a photo shoot, and sign on the dotted line.*
Let me let you in on a little secret: All you need is one really good photo.**
(Another one by Lukas Wierzbowski)
*Do ask for a contract, even if all you're paying for is the travel. Everyone will be better off if there's an agreement in writing.
**As Alexis is fond of saying.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
who's going to walk me down the aisle...?
Hey ESB,
I'm a new reader and I have to say, I adore your blog. All of the comments and responses are so heartfelt and REAL. Which is what prompted me to write to you about my own wedding blahs.
My family is very complicated. I was adopted by my maternal grandparents when I was two years old. I met my biological father when I was fifteen. Since then, he and I have formed a very good relationship. He's actually selling his house to me, which has been in the family for 7 generations, and he's giving me a killer deal. He's very calm and level headed about things and I'm proud of the bond we have formed.
However, my mother and my aunt HATE him. They don't realize that people can change and that he's not the person they knew 25 years ago. They bad talk him constantly in front of me, even though they have not spoken with him in ages. It's very awkward for me and I usually just wind up looking down at my nails, hoping to get sucked into a black hole. It doesn't help that he recently married a woman that went to high school with my mom. Somehow, this affects my mother.
To make it even better, I never really lived with my mom. I lived with my grandparents until my grandfather died and then I tried to live with her, but she sent me to live with our horse trainer in Ohio during the summers and during the school year, I stayed most nights at my friends house or would do what I called the Ping-pong, which was wake up at her house, go to school, my aunt pick me up that night, I spend the night there, wake up at my aunt's, go to school, my mom would pick me up from school....you get the picture...until finally, my aunt and uncle asked if I would just want to live with them.
So, to me, I have 4 mom's- my biological mom, my grandmother who adopted me, my aunt who raised me from 15-18, and my step-mom. And I have 3 dad's-my biological dad, my grandfather (who passed away when I was eleven or twelve) and my uncle.
I'm dreading the awkwardness of my wedding. My fiance's family is complicated too, but they all suck it up and get along and are adults about things.
And I'm mainly worried about who's going to walk me down the aisle. Do I ask my uncle who has been there for me since I was a baby? Or do I ask my dad who has been there for me for going on eleven years and has done everything he can to be a good dad since I've met him? Do I ask them both and deal with the awkward vibe passing between them? Do I apologize to both of them and walk myself down the aisle?
This whole situation is really bumming me out. Please help!!
Thank you,
Alicia*
*****
Lady, I say you've got two options:
1. Walk down the aisle your very own self** (or on the arm of your intended). Simple. Badass. Done.
2. Ask who you want to ask. And ask the other guy to give a speech. That way they will both feel important and dad-ish.
Under no circumstances do you owe anyone an apology.
In fact, if your mom gives you any more shit about your dad I suggest that you remind her she was the one who had a fucking baby with him in the first place.
Love,
ESB
(Photo by Lukas Wierzbowski via Design For Mankind)
*I made up a name again. This is some heavy shit. Plus it's fun to make up names.
** I went this route because frankly neither my father nor I wanted to perpetrate the notion that I was his property to be "given away." But I will spare you the synopsis of my undergraduate English thesis.
***UPDATE: Christina doesn't think she's an Alicia. And she has a blog. And she said she doesn't mind if I link to it.***
Monday, March 1, 2010
speaking of shoes...
Cevd and I had something close to a religious experience when we saw this pair of Lanvins in person last week. No, seriously.
And may I just say? The saleslady (proprietress? she had the air of a proprietress) in the slammin thigh-high boots we encountered at Mona Moore could not have been more gracious. She knew we couldn't afford a thing in the place but she let us Oh and Ah without giving us the hairy eyeball or following us around with a Kleenex to make sure we didn't stain the Balenciaga bags with our drool.
One day I'll be back.