you guys?

I love you guys.  

p.s. H and I just bought a new mattress and I'm pretty sure it's gonna change my life. I finally feel ready to meet the new decade. Okay, ready just as soon as I buy some new underwear. (NOT the lingerie kind. The not-bunching-up-under-my-jeans kind.)

Polaroid by Page Schultz courtesy of The New York Times

fess up

Do you watch the momversations? I mean, without, you know, being a mom?

Yesterday Peonies asked, "Is anyone else addicted to the momversation videos?" and I think she found my answer a little smug. Yikes, okay my answer was more than a little smug.

But the truth is I don't watch them to pat myself on the back and say, "Man I'm so glad I don't have to deal with issues like miscarriage or circumcision or whatever. Lucky me!" I think maybe I watch them to torture myself. To pick the scab? Because H-town and I are 95-97% sure we don't want kids at this point (and I am not young enough to waste any time if I want em). But there's some part of me that needs to, yes, torture myself about it.

Just a wee image of me melodia's Parker that I happen to have stored on my phone. SEE? I DON'T HATE BABIES. 

what to wear to a boudoir shoot

Hi ESB,

I have a question for you. I won a boudoir shoot with a local photographer and I'm excited to really own it for myself, step into character a bit, and come out with some great photos. However, I don't really want the standard be-sexy-for-him poses I often see. I want to be sexy-for-me (which of course translates into sexy for everyone, but whatever).  So, I'm looking for non-trite boudoir style "clothes" and accessories that won't kill the bank.  I loved Feather Love's shoot here, but I'm looking for even more ideas too. If you have local LA store, hair, and makeup recommendations, that would be super, though I won't complain about good online resources too. 

Thanks!

-B

*****

You know what I think is sexy? The naked body.

You know what isn't? A "boudoir shoot." Ick.

Image by She Hit Pause via Art Threat

happy monday

We're in the home stretch with this January bullsh*t. Is the good news.

Also, you must read this article about Iris Apfel immediately if not sooner. I personally took great cheer not only from the insane fashion but also from the report that Apfel and her husband of 62 years have "been so busy, working and travelling and collecting and speeding in the Maserati" that they "haven't had time" for children.

Take that, breeders.

(Photo by Martha Camarillo courtesy of The Observer)

Via ilovejezebel

also digging this necklace. for a bride, perhaps?

Could not tell you for the life of me what it's made of. Glass beads? Recycled string?

By Malene Birger via {this is glamorous}

I do not generally consider myself to be a glamorous person. But let's face it, the lady has a good eye.

a heart necklace I can get behind

I have a confession to make. I hate the ubiquitous Tiffany heart necklace almost as much as I hate the ubiquitous Tiffany engagement ring. I guess I hate anything that's everywhere. But you knew that about me.

Anyhoo, this Dainty Heart Necklace by Bittersweets NY, this I can get behind. At catbird. Where else?

You might also enjoy the Tree Trunk Ring by Digby & Iona, which can be customized with an engraved heart. Featured today on Refinery 29.

a short wedding dress for November?

Hi ESB,

What are your thoughts on a short wedding dress for a late afternoon-evening wedding---in early November---in Boston? We haven't picked our site yet (and I will wait to buy a dress until we do), but I'm hoping we'll go with this cozy, very low-key restaurant/bar we found that has exposed brick walls and lots of warmth. There is the obvious question of being chilly during transport, so I'm wondering what your take is on layering and bundling up while wearing a wedding dress.

I have been looking at some great full-length dresses, but I keep having this nagging feeling that a full-length dress is going to swallow up my body and I'll just look like I'm wearing a big white sheet. Also, this is pretty embarrassing, but I kind of don't want to feel jealous of all the other girls at my wedding who will be frolicking around the dance floor in their cute cocktail dresses.

Here's the sort of dress I'm interested in at the moment (it has black in it---is that bad?).

Thanks!
Meg


*****

Hey Meg,

I hope you'll forgive me for posting photos of the dress. Becauseitisfuckingamazing. I admire your restraint in not just buying the damn thing. But WELL DONE. If you suddenly took a 180 and decided to get married on the beach in August you might not want to go with sequins.

The dress is fucking amazing. (Did I say that already?) How could you not look fucking amazing in it? And you should absolutely follow your instincts. No reason to put on a big white sheet if you know you'd be happier in a cute (read: fucking amazing) cocktail dress.

Here's the downside: You really might be chilly. You can bundle up en route, nothing wrong with that. But even in a cosy restaurant, keep in mind that your ARMS AND LEGS will be BARE* and you will incredibly reluctant to cover up those sequins with a wrap. (Kind of like Halloween, when your mom used to try and make you put a coat over your costume to go trick or treating.)

But... Maybe you do not chill easily? It drizzled briefly during the outdoor cocktail hour at our wedding and I was so warm and happy with wedding feelings (and whiskey) that I ran around in my cotton dress and sparkly sandals and had no interest whatsoever in putting on my wrap.

love,
ESB

p.s. There's nothing wrong with a little black.

(Philip Lim sequined silk dress via Phillip Lim and NET-A-PORTER)

*I am still not on board with wedding tights.

the most rad Arizona horse ranch wedding

Our little Brie is all growed up. Seems like only yesterday she was emailing me in a panic because Kiwi wanted to get married in a custom tuxedo with electric blue piping. You see what happens when you stay out of their way? No electric blue in sight.

Anyhoo, here's the wrap-up from Brie:

Why was our wedding the most rad ever? I guess it all started when Kiwi and I got engaged in New Zealand, almost exactly one year ago! We couldn’t wait to get home and get the planning going. Instinctively we knew that a hotel or church venue wasn’t the right fit for us… We were far more drawn to the outdoor setting. My parents have a horse ranch here in Arizona that backs to a mountain preserve and we thought it would be the perfect place to have our wedding. Little did we know, getting the site ready would involve hours of planting trees, renting tractors and general manual labor!


In the end, everything came together perfectly. My girlfriends and I built the backdrop for the ceremony after seeing a feature about wood staining on HGTV. I collected saint candles from a local church to use as décor for the reception and old bottles of patron tequila to serve as vases for the flowers. Really, the only other decorations were luminarias we placed around the property to light the path of the guests. We wanted to focus on the natural beauty of the mountains.



(Editor's note: I had to sneak in a couple of the detail shots Brie's friend Kathryn took with a Fuji Instax.)

Before the ceremony started we passed out champagne cocktails for the guests. Weddings hardly ever start on time and we wanted everyone to enjoy themselves while they waited. Kiwi looked so handsome as I practically sprinted down the aisle to him… He custom ordered his suit through Hillcrest & Hamilton, the menswear company he owns with his brother. Our ceremony was officiated by a very dear family friend that I’ve known since childhood. The crowd burst out laughing when he told the story of how Kiwi and I met when we were both playing rugby. Definitely not your typical courtship story! The ceremony ended just as the sun was starting to set and it couldn’t have been more beautiful.


(p.s. That's her great-grandmother's mantilla.)






We took most of our photos beforehand so we could get right to the party! We made a quick stop by the photo booth (the pictures doubled as guestbook entries) and then it was off to the reception. My friends and I had made a giant batch of sangria the night before and it was gone almost immediately. Luckily, Kiwi had stocked up on Dos Equis, Corona and Sol. I made sure we had Coca Cola in glass bottles for the kiddos, made with real cane sugar, none of this high fructose corn syrup business. Dinner was catered buffet style, by a local restaurant called Blue Adobe. They served chicken empanadas, green chile pork tenderloin and an amazing shrimp and lobster dip. When Kiwi and I were walking around I saw people forgoing the tortilla chips altogether and just eating it with a spoon! We served everything on these awesome compostable dinner plates made from fallen leaves. I actually found them through a wedding featured on ESB, thanks Joy! For dessert we served lemon bars from The Deli, a restaurant in town that specializes in local and organic ingredients. Kiwi and I decided to skip the typical wedding cake and we cut into a sweet little Bundt number we topped with extra flowers from the reception. It was the perfect end to a delicious meal.


The reception was an absolute blast. We had family fly in from Singapore, New Zealand, Canada and Mexico. Add our respective rugby teams to the mix, and you’ve got yourself a party. My Puerto Rican grandma taught everyone to Salsa and a few of the rugby girls showed us how to do the worm. It doesn’t get much better than that.


I can’t stress how important it is to just stop and enjoy your own wedding. Kiwi and I had an amazing time eating, drinking and dancing with our family and friends. At the end of the day, you’re married to your best friend… and that is the most wonderful feeling of all.


Yeah, lady.

Photos by Brittany Strebeck (and her husband Jordan, who assisted)

Black Tie Converse

If the groom insists on wearing Converse, point him toward the Dress Code 1/2 Collection by Converse Japan.

LIMITEDHYPE via NOTCOUTURE

Review(ish): The Paper Bride

When I received my copy of The Paper Bride,* my first reaction was "Great. Another one." The image of the little porcelain cake topper in the upper right hand corner threw me off. I thought to myself, "Why does every wedding planning book have to have a bride and groom on the front? Or a fucking diamond engagement ring? At least it's not an engagement ring." Then I tucked it under a pile of papers and forgot about it.


This weekend, I unearthed the book (I have pledged to read the printed word, after all) and I was pleasantly surprised. When I looked closely, I realized the little porcelain bride on the front was carrying a bouquet of red and orange paper flowers and the groom had a big paper boutonniere pasted on his lapel. Esther K. Smith is making the point that you can personalize your wedding with paper, in both traditional and unexpected ways.

Smith offers several how-tos for making paper flowers (obv), along with many more rather advanced projects. Do I like the idea of a handmade Paper Pocket Planner? Or a Liquor Shower cocktail recipe book? Yes. Would I ever attempt to make these things? No. She lost me at awl. I do not own an awl, nor do I have any desire to go buy an awl.** I am, however, intrigued by the notion of a bone folder, which is recommended for the construction of the Garland Guest Book (pictured below).

The instructions for the garland went over my head the first two times I glanced at them, but when I took a third look something clicked. Now I'm antsy to give the project a try. Why don't I own a BONE FOLDER? (You can visit Smith's site to download pdf instructions for the Garland Guest Book. But do not attempt to crease your paper using a butter knife, a pencil, or a chopstick.)

I'm also intrigued by the templates provided at the back of the book, for, among other things, an art deco envelope, a curvy Parisian coaster, and a v. sweet little box (hello macarons!).

Tomorrow night, Wednesday, Jan 20, at 7:30 pm Esther K. Smith will be at WORD Bookstore in Greenpoint (126 Franklin St. Brooklyn, NY 11222) demonstrating some of the projects from THE PAPER BRIDE. Will someone please attend and report back to us? Maybe awls are more fun than they look.

*Sent to me for free by the lovely people at Random House, I AM REQUIRED TO TELL YOU. I believe I am also required to tell you that I was not paid to write this review.

**Fun fact: When he was three, Louis Braille accidentally gouged himself in the left eye with an awl. Both eyes became infected, and he was blind by the age of four.

HELP I read his email

Dear ESB,
 
I have a problem. I (innocently) stumbled across ring-related emails a few weeks ago in my Mister's account, and can't. stop. reading. His planning of our engagement is literally unfolding before my eyes. I have never spied on him, am not a text checker, never even have searched for a Christmas present. We pretty much share an account, and he should be doing a better job of hiding it. But I know I don't have to click that "read more" button. WTF? HELP 

Name withheld for obvious reasons

*****

Propose. Tonight. (I'm assuming you want to marry him?) Then tell him you have seen things and ask him to get a little stealthier for fuck's sake.

Flash Dance by Sandrine Pelletier via me melodia (my primary source for, you know, art)

a pledge to read the printed word

More than a year ago, I started to notice that I was reading fewer and fewer books. The New Yorkers lay gathering dust on the coffee table. My newfound love for blogsblogsblogs, fancy iphone apps and twitter were/are interfering with my capacity to focus on words printed on paper. Words you can't click on. Words that don't link to other words. Words that are meant to be read in sequence.

Inspired by adfreeblog.org and buyhandmade.org, I decided a new kind of pledge was in order. A pledge to read the printed word. I emailed cevd, who I knew to be a fan of books as well as my kind of minimalist graphic designer, and she quickly got on board, creating several versions of a little banner. Then I proceeded to sit on my ass for 14 months.

But. Finally. With a little help from H-town, our wee project is launched.

Take the pledge and add a banner to your page. Because tweeting should not take the place of reading.

WARNING: Please do not attempt to tweet while reading a book. To avoid distraction, the librarian recommends that you place your iphone face down. In the other room.

Photo by Peonies and Polaroids

enough already with the FAKE WEDDINGS

Hey I was recently married and have recently purged all the wedding related goop from my web browser, but I couldn't help but hop back on your site because I wanted to vent and revisit the whole your wedding is not a photo shoot controversy. I recently came upon some photos on a very popular blog that claim to be from a wedding, but after clicking over to the photographer's website I came to find exactly what I suspected. NOT A WEDDING! That wedding was a photo shoot! It really irks me that they style these so called perfect looking scenarios that we're all supposed to oh and ah over. I think we've talked about how ridiculously unattainable these posed scenes are, but what about the stuff they are totally lacking? The photos are almost always devoid of family and friends or any of the giddy, happy wedding day excitement and sometimes awkwardness that you see in wedding photos that is so great. I love that.

Anyhow here are the photographs in question. It appears that the couple is a "real couple" so that's why it's supposed to be totally awesome and lovely dovey.

Thanks for allowing me to vent!

Alison

*****

Um, Design*Sponge? You do post photos of real homes though, right? That real people actually live in??

(Abbey Lee Kershaw photo by Miguel Reveriego via tobacco and leather)

she says "Macaron!"

Generally I am meh about wedding favors. But the story behind these is too good....

Marci loves macarons, Ben loves macaroons. So they decided to give every guest this gold box with one macaron and one macaroon inside.

Design by Erin Jang. Visit The Indigo Bunting for more pics.

(Via forty-sixth at grace)

In case you needed an inspiration photo to show your seamstress.

Warning: Not recommended for use with Nikes. Too ruffly.

(Karen Elson photo by Tim Walker for British Vogue via M. Dash. I don't remember how this blog landed in my reader, but it is rad.)

Dear Lily Allen

YES. Thx.

I'm fishing around for hair inspiration for Naurnie, and not only do I like this hairdo, I say yesyesyes to the Nikes.

p.s. I suspect Lily would approve the addition of a birdcage veil.

Image via Music Notes

Hi ESB,

I'm helping my brother and his fiancée plan their wedding in Seattle, but I live in Los Angeles. I was hoping you or some of your wonderful readers might have some help for me. They are planning a *super* low budget (go figure, they'd rather spend their money on their future together! :) ) and about 50 people. We also love the idea of a "retreat" wedding, where the wedding, reception, and lodging can all be in one lovely, homey place where we call all hang out and celebrate their love!

Thanks,
Lindsey


*****

Um. I hope by lodging you mean c-a-m-p-i-n-g. Unless anyone has a better suggestion?

Photos from Victoria & Fritz's Tent Town Wedding via Once Wed

mkay. how bout jelly gladiators?

I am feelin these from See by Chloe.

They also come in black, just fyi. And may I point out that they're vegan? (Can't vouch for the Stuart Weitzmans. They kinda look like they're lined in leather.)

p.s. I'd appreciate it if you didn't point out that I'm 9 months behind trend.

p.p.s. According to The NY Times, "advancements in plastics and similar materials during the past 20 years have made it possible not only to mold a shoe to the foot, but to make shoes odor-resistant or perfume-scented. They are also better able to handle friction and sweat." Just fyi.

How do we feel about wedding JELLIES?

My knee-jerk reaction is that I hate Stuart Weitzman. Just because. But there is something rad about these.

And please, wedding Wellies are so 2009.

Resolutions for 2010

1. I will not refer to myself as an old lady. I may be thirty----, but everyone knows my psychic age is seventeen. I briefly considered celebrating this idea by buying the nude mesh leggings, but alas, they are still ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO DOLLARS. Eff that. Will procure $13 zipper leggings at Target or make my own.

Please note: LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. Be sure your ass is covered when you leave the house. And I know you'd never consider wearing leggings as pictured above, even if they had neon zippers with triangle tabs. (Do I sound like an old lady? In 1983-1991 we covered our asses. Is all I'm saying.)

2. I will wear impossibly cool outfits at all times. Even when "popping over" to Trader Joe's (you never know when you'll spot someone you know and be forced to leave without potato chips in order to avoid talking to her), sitting on my ass blogging,* or sitting on my ass watching bad reality TV. Perhaps should also watch less bad reality TV?

3. I will not ---- -- ----. This one's a secret. (Duh.) It's a compulsive habit I have that I would very much like to be rid of. I'm hoping by putting it out there(ish), I can actually cut it out this time.**

4. Um....

5. I will take up yoga, eat organic, stick to a budget. Stop twittering when I'm hanging out with my husband. The usual.

*As of 9:17am on Jan 2, I have already broken this resolution.

**Broke this one yesterday. But I will not be deterred. 2010 is the year I become perfect.