I made you a playlist. (Yeah, you.)

Please go directly to The Flashdance to download. And put it on tonight, wherever you are.

Happy New Year! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!


p.s. MA & crew have somehow neglected to use my rad artwork (vandalized photos by Lauren Dukoff via tobacco and leather and عبير*) but I trust you will print out the above image and tape it to your ipod or whatever.

happy new year

I'll be honest with you, I was all ready to draft an f* this post....

So much pressure to plan the cocktails, find the right sparkly outfit, stop at every party, etc. You know what I'm saying? It's almost enough to make me stay home and watch Steel Magnolias on Oxygen. But we did that last night.

I'm gonna make a little confetti with my three-hole punch. A little gold confetti. Maybe that'll get me in the mood.

xoo.

p.s. Enough already with Confetti System. I think they're cool too. WE ALL THINK THEY'RE COOL. They've been discovered, mkay?

Image via wish jar

How to be the best matron of honor EVER

Hey hey!

I have been reading your blog b/c you are just so lovely. My friend Joy had linked to you during her stages of wedding planning.

Anyhow, so I'm writing because my sister JUST (as in, on Christmas Eve) got engaged! I got married 3 1/2 years ago and it was a wonderful experience, and I'm looking for some advice/tips on how to be the best bridesmaid, or rather, matron of honour, ever. What do I need to stay on top of? I've been a bridesmaid a couple of other times, but lived far away from both those brides so wasn't super involved. I'd love any help/assistance/advice you can give me!

Warm wishes to you from chilly Canada!

Rachel


*****

Mkay. I’m a little offended that you called me “lovely” when I really try to envision myself as badass. But since you are Canadian, I won’t hold it against you.

So. HOW TO BE THE BEST BRIDESMAID/MAID OF HONOR/MATRON OF HONOR EVER:

1. Let her vent. The groom will get bored with wedding planning. There will be entire days when he doesn’t want to talk about it. Also, as I learned when H-town and I were planning our wedding, if you complain about something to a man, he will try to fix it. Adorable, but not always helpful. Sometimes you just want to complain. So tell the bride to imagine that you have given her one of those red telephones. A direct line to you. And any time she needs to jabber or rant or cry she can call you.

2. Tell her the truth (90% of the time). If, for example, she is leaning toward a dress that is a) lame, b) not flattering or c) not her, for chrissake speak up! She needs to know she can rely on you for an honest opinion. But if you don’t get to see the dress until it’s bought and paid for, you love it. Obviously.

3. Whatever with the bridal shower…. Throw her an amazing bachelorette party. Mine involved bar-hopping in gold heels and a pink feather boa. Don’t tell anyone, but my girlfriends also made me wear a pink t-shirt that said “Buy Me A Shot, I’m Tying The Knot.” The NYC-single-girl-me would have been mortified, but the LA-about-to-be-married-me had the best time. Note: Skip the condom/penis veil. Come to think of it, don’t affix condoms or penises to any part of her body. Thx.

4. When the time comes, rip that to-do list out of her hands. This won’t be easy. She might cancel her mani/pedi so she can supervise the table set-up at the reception hall. Or you might catch her rearranging the flowers in the chapel when she’s already late for the m-effing portraits. But the more you know about what’s supposed to happen/what things are supposed to look like, the more you can help when it starts to get hairy.

Oh, and write your speech in advance. Cocktail hour won’t be any fun if you spend it locked in the ladies room scribbling on index cards.

(Photo by Brian Henry)

merry merry. or whatever.

Wishing you lots of bad HDTV and great movies, homemade truffles made by sweet ladies down the street, and the strength not to bite the heads off your family. Um. Did I say that out loud?

Time to sign off for a few days....





I miss you already.

Photo by my lady Christina Richards

beaming bride x 2

Jami Saunders (who is getting married in January you guys)* just sent over these photos from Erica and Riva's October wedding in Shelter Island.

I'm not sure I've ever seen one such smiley bride, let alone two. That last shot kills me. Srsly.

*Man does time fly.

the end of an era

Ten Thousand Only has posted her last post.

She's been ramping down for a while.... Some wedding bloggers have the good sense to let it lie after the wedding is over. But still, her last post. I find this incredibly disconcerting. TTO was one of the ones who inspired me to start this blog, way back when she was unengaged and I was "toads clueless."*

Anyhoo, she left us with some pretty good advice that I can't resist reposting here:

i had to remind myself every now and then...what mattered to me, who mattered to me, and what the day itself meant to me. in the end, not everything made sense to everyone, but it absolutely made sense to me, to my husband, and to our loved ones.

and on the day of, we were fortunate enough to experience tender love, true joy, and hours of uninhibited dancing.

so this is me, wishing all of you the same and more during planning and on your wedding day.

and in life.

ok?

Image via Yimmy's Yayo

*"Toads" as in "tots" as in "totally" will forever belong to TTO. For those of us who are keeping track.

On BLOGSLANG

Mkay. You guys may be aware that I'm b o r e d with phrases like "my dears," "eye candy," and "pop of color" (godhelpus) that get repeated ad nauseum all over the place.* I understand how it happens. We read a lot of the same blogs.** We repost photos. Why not recycle phrases too? Because. Make up your own.

On the other hand... There are a bunch of weird little words that I use. Where did I get them? Am I stealing them? For example, BWAHA, my new favorite twitter response to something funny. Where the f* did that come from?

I love obv. (Obv.) Pretty sure I started that one after I heard Episode 153 of Uhh Yeah Dude. (Download here, and skip ahead to 49:17 if you must.)

And then there's "lub," which is spreading like wildfire. But that one's Amanda's, just so you know.

Image via Yimmy's Yayo

*I suspect we can blame Joanna for starting the "my dears" trend. But Garance is not helping things any.

**Let's face it, we all read A CUP OF JO.

I may have caught the holiday spirit.

Mock me if you must, but I think it happened somewhere between getting my hair cut on Fairfax and using an old credit (!) to buy two PERFECT presents at Buffalo Exchange on La Brea. Guess I ought to venture west more often.

Today I'll be cleaning house, roasting spiced pecans and attempting pomegranate champagne punch.* I'm more of a bourbon girl, as you know, but we've got a bottle of "California Champagne" languishing in the cupboard that was an anniversary gift from the Madonna Inn and I'm damned if I'm gonna let it go to waste.

(Image via fine little day)

*Unless anyone's got a better champagne punch recipe? I was planning to substitute organic vodka for the rum because a) organic = NO HANGOVER and b) what do I want with leftover rum?!

planning my outfit for the christmas party

The leopard boots are overkill (obviously), but otherwise I pretty much dig all of this. Thoughts?

Via auburn & ivory

Now you're talking, Leanne

And I swear I'm not just saying that because my wedding dress had an exposed zipper running down the front.

From the SS10 lookbook.

This custom job is pretty slammin too. I mean, if you're into ruffles.

p.s. Am I being an a*hole today? Please forgive, I just got back from a nightmarish trip to the dentist.

Dear ESB: I was a total bitch

Hey there,

So i was just going through some of your old posts - I'm bored at work, and you always have rad pictures to entertain me - and I found this one.

To begin with, my answer is "no i never thought about it, which I think is why it stressed me out to the nth degree trying to plan a wedding in 6 months".

But my question to you is about how you say in that post "But I definitely saw a side of myself that startled me on occasion." and what that means. Because that is how i think of my wedding planning and especially the week before the wedding. I made some extremely stupid decisions and acted completely out of character. (I was a total bitch.) And now that it's all over and 9 months have passed I still feel pangs of guilt about how I behaved.

For example, I was so stressed and overwhelmed and frustrated that it reached the point where my mother didn't even talk to me on the day of the wedding until right before the ceremony. And 2 weeks after the wedding my best friend said "you're so lucky i fucking love you so fucking much, because you were a fucking nightmare".

Is this what you meant, or similar to what you went through? And if so did you feel guilty after it all and how did you resolve it? I'm not assuming you were as bad as me.

Don't get me wrong, i loved our wedding, and from the moment after I took my first step down the aisle everyone, including me, had a huge amount of fun (i have photos to prove it, including heaps of my mum with a massive grin on her face).

I just feel a little sad about how much of a shit i was.

help?

Brigitta


*****

Hey lady,

I had more than a few moments I'm not proud of.

During the cocktail hour(s) I screamed WHAT ARE THOSE DOING HERE?! when I noticed that someone had "helpfully" brought bottles of water over from the rehearsal picnic and plopped them down on the bar. Obviously beverages were supposed to be drunk out of mason jars. (This was not the Speidi wedding, mkay?) A friend calmly stepped in and stashed the waters, though not before I tried to get behind the bar myself, nearly snagging my dress on a nearby bush.

I won't even go into the retarded fights H-town and I had during the planning phase.

But no, I didn't feel guilty about my behavior after the wedding was over. You shouldn't either. As a wise lady once told me, "Float it down the river of zen."

And maybe frame a photo of you and your mum from the wedding to give her as a christmas present. Preferably with one of those massive grins on her face.

love,
ESB

Image from Ariana Page Russell's Skin series via me melodia

So yeah, the gift guides running all over the blogosphere are starting to make me a little nauseous. And now I feel guilty about the materialistic shit I post all the time.

Inspired by Keri Smith, I thought I'd offer an anti-gift guide. Or, TEN THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF SHOPPING:*

1. Mail a holiday card to one of your blog friends. Maybe the one who sent you a present that you never properly acknowledged? You have her address. Just saying.

2. Learn how to use the juicer. Because you can't let your husband do everything for you. At least not when he's out of town.

3. Watch 4 hours in a row of Tabatha's Salon Takeover. Later, discover an awesome (in the original sense of the word) arrangement of dusty cobwebs under your desk and wonder whether Tabatha would consider taking over your house.

4. Figure out where to donate your old coat.

5. Put on your new coat and go for a walk. Snap photos of weird graffiti with your phone and save them as wallpaper.

6. Apply bioré pore strips to your entire face. Cheaper than a facial, and so much more satisfying!

7. Blast Uhh Yeah Dude while "reorganizing" the kitchen cabinets. (Read: Secretly recycling your husband's massive jar collection. What is he saving those for??)

8. Make a super rad mix CD to give your best girlfriends. Hell, give it to some guys too.** Note: Old New York mags and Urban Outfitters catalogs would make excellent raw material for collaging the cover art.

9. Finish that book you started in August.

10. SLEEP. Sleep sleep sleep.

(You can find Keri's list here.)

*Alternate title: TEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS OUT OF TOWN

**I may or may not, in fact, be working on a "celebrity playlist" for The Flashdance. I'm still waiting for MA to figure out he's got me mixed up with someone else. Celebrity. Tee hee.

Reversible Bow Tie by Pierrepont Hicks

The bow tie trend seems to be kicking into high gear all of a sudden. Can't say that I mind.

Order directly from Pierrepont Hicks here.

Via all plaidout. Obv. Happy blog birthday, Max! Now will you please grow back your mustache?

Hello,

I hate to be a bother, but I love the advice you give and frankly, I fucking love your cursing. :) Anyway, I am having serious issues picking a city for my wedding. I feel like I want to honor my future with my amazing man by having it in the city we wish to move to after I finish school, but at the same time I would like to honor my past/present by having a wedding here in California. My man and I are from California and both of our families are mostly here. I was born and raised in a suburb of Los Angeles and he was born in Los Angeles, grew up on the Central Coast and then moved to LA after he finished college.

The city we want to move to eventually is NYC, but with the economy the way it is, I can't exactly just keep flying out there in between working full time and going to school. I'm not like all these weddings I keep seeing on blogs where people have connections in every damn industry either. So this will require so much money by EVERYBODY (for me, fam/friends flying out, my parents, Todd,* etc.). My parents are amazing and I'm sure they'd make it work, but I'd hate to spend so much damn money of theirs. I just feel so sad that I wouldn't be able to have a wedding there though since Todd and I just love that city soooo much. The areas of California we are very interested in are the central coast with its beautiful valleys and of course it's where my Todd grew up and went to school and the other area we are interested in is a place we love going to visit: the area of California between Big Sur and Santa Cruz. I don't know if you're familiar with these areas of California, just trust me, they are both amazing. Bottom Line: We just love NYC and California is our heart and has so many places/climates to take advantage of that I just feel so stuck!

You probably think I'm a nutjob, but any help would be TOTALLY appreciated.

Danke,

Heather

*****

Hiiiiiis.

First of all, you are never a bother. That's what I'm here for.

But lady, you have answered your own question. Your heart is with California. I got married on the west coast of BC where I grew up part-time, and I have to tell you it was super cool to be surrounded with memories on the day. It also meant so much to my dad.

Plus it just doesn't make sense (money-wise or sanity-wise) to plan a NYC wedding when all of you live over here. Get married closer to home. Not only will your guests thank you, more of them will show up.

New York will always be there. Hello...honeymoon?

love,
ESB

*All names have been changed to protect the innocent. Yeah I picked California names. It's my blog.

Polaroid by Jen Gotch

Illuminated Wedding Dress

And shawl. Both made from Luminex, a fiber-optic fabric imported from Italy.

Alison Lewis describes the design process (and her collaboration with the bride) on Switch.

Via Coquette

p.s. You might also like this LED wedding dress that can be converted to a lamp.

F* the First Look photos

Your wedding photographer will probably try to convince you to do two hours+ of portraits before the ceremony. He wants you to be able to go straight to the reception after the ceremony, but he also wants to capture the first moment you see each other in your wedding garb without any pesky wedding guests in the way. What you get is those incredibly stagy "first look" photos, where the bride and groom just end up looking like they're posing.

Come on. You're nervous. You're about to get married. And then you're supposed to turn and look at each other and be all lovestruck and amazed while pretending there's not a camera pointing at you?

You're robbing yourself of the (trust me) incredible moment of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. Or the arch or the stump or whatever. And you're robbing your guests of the joy of seeing you see each other for the first time.

For fuck's sake, please just take a little time to do portraits after the ceremony. They'll come out much better because you will be SMILING YOUR ASS OFF. You'll barely notice the camera. (Trust me.)

I have to give V, a non-engaged, non-blogger friend, some credit for inspiring this post. She went on a rant about first look photos at thanksgiving.

Image courtesy of My Parents Were Awesome

one more day of Unique LA!

I've been looking forward to Unique LA for months, and today I wasn't disappointed. Exhibit A: Baby Porcupine print by Sharon Montrose.

Seriously awesome. Visit her etsy shop to see the Baby Raccoon, the Otter, the Reindeer.... All of em. We didn't buy anything from Sharon, but I already regret not picking up a few sets of Hoofstock bookmarks to give as wee xmas presents. (And speaking of awesome: check out The Dog Photo Booth.)

Next up, the Perpetual Gardening Calendar from Krank Press.


We bought two. (Last year we gave Odd Birds of LA calendars as xmas presents and they were massive hits.) The proprietors of Krank could not be more laid-back, Silver Lake-y, and, well, uncranky. Even with a mass of people clumped at their booth.

But my very favorite...



Tie-died suede clutches and distressed leather flat zipped pouches by Tracey Tanner.

I already knew I loved Tracey Tanner's distressed leather. We ordered a bunch of zipped pouches from her in custom sizes and colors to give the ladies as wedding thank-you gifts (as well as wallets for the guys). But holy shit with the tie-dyed suede. H-town picked out a christmas present for me in secret at Tracey's booth. Wheeeeeeeeee!

Note: Tracey is a complete doll, and she gave us a discount for the bulk order back when we were wedding planning. She has also offered esb readers 25% off everything on her site until December 24. Use the code FBFALL09 at checkout.

pop-up wedding inspiration

You have to check out today's inspiration board on snippet & ink.

a) I do love the pop-up wedding concept, even if I disapprove of a groom in a tuxedo t-shirt. (Did I say that already?)
b) The mustache. The real live mustache that is attached to his face.
plus
c) I love a single blossom in a jar. Obv.
d) I was just thinking about leather clutches. More on that later.
and
#5 It's a gluten-free wedding! Macarons are gluten-free!

I'm pretty sure she did the board just for me.

(Photo courtesy of Grand Opening Gallery via New York Magazine)

Mister Mort's F U Club Tie

(Please click photo to get the full effect in close-up.)

I've been obsessed with this tie since I first caught a glimpse on all plaidout. It would make a subtler choice for a groom than an ironic tuxedo t-shirt, no? Not to mention a hella rad gift for groomsmen.

Email Mister Mort directly to inquire about orders (and peruse his blog for sartorialism with a sense of humor). Mr. Mort also does velvet bow ties in black, blue, purple and orange, but my heart is with the FUCKYOU. For obvious reasons.


Photos courtesy of Mister Mort (featuring The Trad, as it turns out) and all plaidout

will someone please DIY THESE?

Via Le Fashion

(Also, I still love the punk rock Capezios, which would be a lot easier source + stud.)

December = time to get a haircut

Remember when I was blathering about music and movies and projects last spring? This is my leading lady/muse Melia Renee on set for the short film I directed. (I know I know, it was a lot of blathering for a ten minute movie. Which is not even close to finished.)

Anyhoo, the day before we started shooting I freaked out and decided Melia's hair needed attention. My lady Alexis graciously cleared her schedule for us, very calmly deciphered my ramblings (I believe I said something about wanting to make Melia into "the new Winona Ryder") and gave Melia this slammin haircut.

streamlining

This morning the mechanic told H-town that his 96 Chrysler, affectionately known as The Cruiser, needs $2,000 worth of work. $2,000 we don't have that is frankly not worth pouring into the poor beast.

We've been talking theoretically about sharing a car for more than a year, but now that we're faced with it I have this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. We both work from home (ish). We have a supermarket in walking distance. Not to mention Little Joy, Mohawk General Store, and the Friday night farmer's market. (As if I ever leave the house.)

So what's the big deal?

I thought maybe it would help me to make a list of pros and cons. If you have any suggestions to add, I'd love to hear em.

PROS:
1. We'll save money on car insurance. Obv.

2. We'll only have to worry about ONE CAR getting dinged on our crazy narrow street.

3. We'll only have to guerrilla park ONE CAR when we leave town for christmas.

4. H-town will have the perfect excuse not to keep a schedule.

5. I won't have to feel sheepish about making my friends pick me up on the way to the bar.

CONS:
1. I WON'T HAVE MY OWN CAR.

Meh. When did I turn into such an Angelino?

(King of the road by Jenny Nordberg via woolgathering & miscellany)

Bittersweets NY on NOTCOT

Visit NOTCOT for a glimpse into the Bittersweets studio, and register to win a 14K Gold Twig Band.

I know... I've been obsessed with rings lately. Sue me.

terrific news for non-traditional girls everywhere

Catbird (my fave Brooklyn jewelry store) has finally launched their new site. I've been waiting for this shit for months. I am not exaggerating.

May I suggest the above pop-art-meets-carrie-bradshaw Melting Love Ring for an engagement?

The Yayoi Forest Lucky Seven Diamond Ring would also be a stellar choice.

But go browse all the rad options for engagement rings and wedding bands.

Just don't blame me if you end up in the Wood Nymph section buying a crystal necklace. (Leave it to catbird to make crystals look cool.) Or in Intrepid Explorer buying a Tsuyumi Hunter's Cap for your faux hunting trip.



p.s. Damn you all for updating the furry hat with plaid. I want it.

QUAIL for bridesmaids....

Michelle Williams of Quail (which, p.s., is rad) just launched Quail Bridal, focusing exclusively on bridesmaids. She says "Bring anything that has the exact color you are looking for, whether it be an umbrella, a t-shirt, a sock, anything! And we will find a match."

I happen to think this one would make a cutie-pie wedding dress in white. *Update: Or blush.*

Now for fuck's sake can we call a moratorium on balloons? Balloons are so 2008.

Why renew your vows unless you've BROKEN THEM?

Hey East Side Bride!

I've been following your blog for a long time and I've always loved your thoughts and advice. I got married in February of this year and my husband and I were thinking about renewing our vows and having our closest friends over for a party on our 1 year anniversary. He thinks it's a great idea but I'm worried it might be too cheesy to renew our vows every year. I don't want it to seem too self-indulgent, as if I have to have another "wedding" every year! Of COURSE we will NOT ask for/accept gifts and we won't have bridesmaids or groomsmen or anything. Just a quick ceremony and then party. What are your thoughts?

*****

Hey Anonymous,

Funny you should ask... I was just ranting about this the other day. A vow renewal implies -- to me -- that someone has broken a vow. (See: Madonna and Guy Ritchie) The concept originated with couples who were rebuilding their marriages. It skeeves me out that people have started to use it as an excuse to plan what is essentially a second wedding, egged on by consumer-oriented wedsites like The Knot that offer helpful advice like "Either engrave your original bands with something new (perhaps the date of your vow renewal or a cute sentiment like "I Love You, Part II") or purchase new rings expressly for the reaffirmation -- there's never a bad time to upgrade jewelry!"

Um. BARF.

I get that you're not trying to have another wedding. So I say throw a badass anniversary party and let it be just that: an anniversary party. Unless you (or your husband) feel a pressing need, I'd leave the vow renewal out of it.

Love,
ESB

(Photo by Paolo Roversi via .v via this is glamorous)

antler wedding decor

I had to post these. I am officially obsessed with antlers for fall.* And bird's nests will never go out of style. (Just ask Martha.)

Photos by Lacie Hansen via 100 Layer Cake

*Yes, my tip arrived, thanks for asking. And it is GORGEOUS. Anxiously awaiting the brass chain I ordered from etsy, and then mabs I'll post a photo of the "finished" necklace if I can manage it.

Pixie Market, YOU'RE KILLING ME

EXHIBIT A: Cape coat. Effyes. And what better excuse do you need to buy these?



EXHIBIT B: Leather pencil skirt. If I had a job, y'know, that actually required me to get dressed every morning, I like to think this is the kind of thing I'd wear to work.



EXHIBIT C: Nude mesh leggings. With neon zippers. I have resisted leggings until now. I haven't wanted leggings until now. ButdamnIwantthese. And not just because she's rockin em with a furry hat. (Hooray for furry hat season!)

Part of me kind of digs the plaid studded shirt, too. But if Lauren can stud a pair of converse, dammit I can stud a plaid shirt.

Groom Style: Craig Robinson

(Paul Banks of Interpol in 3-Piece Shetland Wool Herringbone Suit, and Nuutti Kataja of Dead Combo in Fox Hunt 2-Piece Suit w/ Velvet Collar)

Not only does Craig Robinson make some of the more slammin men's suits I've seen in a while...but this is a screaming hot ensemble for a best (wo)man.

Or a bride who might not be planning to get married in a suit.

(Sharin Foo of The Raveonettes in Calvary Vest & Box Pleat Skirt)

Currently for sale in five cities.

Via PAPERMAG

Dear J. Crew: You're not edgy.

Selling booties and stealing from Vogue will not make you so.

I was planning to stop dissing J. Crew after I pissed so many people off the last time. I mean, I get it. They make simple, mid-range wedding dresses that can be accessorized very well.

But...srsly?

J. Crew Weddings, December 2009

Vogue, June 2009, photographed by Arthur Elgort and styled by the inimitable Grace Coddington

See the page-by-page comparison on Moodboard. (Thanks to my lady Kathryn for sending me the link.)

p.s. If you have not already seen The September Issue, you must do so immediately.

EXCUSE ME

Celia totally held out on us. Not only is there more ostrich action up on her blog, there are photos of the dance fest, the signature cocktails,* the most rad Celia necklace, and the elusive mariachi.

Sneaky sneaker blogger.

*That's right, Mr. Human Jukebox, I said signature cocktails. These people know a little something about mixing drinks.